DELIVERANCE

Dreaming comes so easily…

Laying still on the pavement

Drenched in sweat ; disoriented, watching the darkness as

it seemed to creep up behind us.

shallow breaths are the only signs that tell us we are still alive.

Pulling out a headphone I hand one to her pressing play

The blaring music is lost to us, background music to the slowing

Beats of our hearts. Thump…thump…thump

“sexy lady” I whisper callously I can see the smile slowly spread

it was an inside joke something we used to say

in brighter days “sexy baby” she whispers back

my old nickname but that was before the smoke

and the booze, before our lives no longer held

refuge.

When it all changed.

Deliver me from all of my sadness….

Broken souls intertwine like the crippled fingers

We find, intertwined holding onto something

Far more than friendship.

Shallow breaths are coming slower now

Softer too

Deliver me courage to guide us…

Thump….. thump. I gaze out at her sallowed face

Seeing it written plainly across her eyes

The mess we made, and the truth behind…

We both knew this was it

One last party

One last hit

One last time

Before we said, farewell…

goodbye

Deliver me the curse that I’m bearing…

No one would ever understand why we

Just didn’t pick up the phone; call for salvation… to make this all go away

But…what would be the point

We’d only start again & again

Going back to the drugs

The pain

The same old life

All that shame

nothing would change

nothing could change

Deliver me…

A faint smile spread across dried

And cracked lips. Water seeped

Down from the sides of my eyes,

Her breath was lost… choking silently I looked away

Thinking, remembering all those yesterdays…

the dirt and blood that had clung onto her face too long now

was slowly washed away by the rain as if to say she now was wiped clean

from all her sins

all her pains

every little mistake she had ever made...

The rain beat a steady rhythm all around, a very calming sound...something

that I realized I would never hear again.

I’ve come to terms with this fate of ours so…

Tightening my grasp on a lifeless hand that i had held onto

for so long now,

I closed my eyes

Welcoming this final goodbye from all the pain, all our sins

all the hurt and shame

For both her….

And…I.