Letter #15: The Day I Died

There wasn’t a tunnel or a light or anything. There was one moment walking home from the bus stop and then there was another in the hospital. That was it.

Apparently there was more in between. I made it home and started my homework and everything but I don’t remember any of it.

I should be dead right now.

I think that’s one of the scariest parts.

Or maybe waking up was.

I haven’t decided yet.

This wasn’t like a couple of days ago, a simple passing out.

This was cardiac arrest.

This was death calling.

I don’t know many things, I’ve realized. I like to think that I do, but if I tell myself the truth I don’t.

I don’t know what to think or how to feel.

I don’t know what you are or mean to me really.

I don’t know how to handle this.

I don’t know if an ICD will help me avoid what eventually will be unavoidable.

I don’t know if I should fight to live or give up.

I really don’t know what to do. I want to talk to you, I want to ask you. I want to be normal.

This is it.

The one thing I know is that I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what you say or what other people say. I won’t have to suffer them much longer any way.

I’m telling you.

I’m graduating next year at seventeen and I’m going to see the world.

And I’m going to die content.

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Hm. This is weird for me. Actually finishing a story! well yes, I know this story might not be the most satisfying but I liked it the best (and believe me, I tried a bunch of endings.) And I don't know. I just really like it for some reason.

:( this is actually pretty sad. Well, tell me what you think and thanks for reading :)

Oh, and yes. Props to Leonardo for giving me the quotes to start and finish this story.

Thanks to Written, faerie-gumdrops, dangelicessence, plainxospoiled555, and CB Scarlet (for favoriting the story... i know not a word but whatever.)

Well, I'm too lazy to add specific review replies so I'll just PM them now I guess... :) Thanks for reading