No longer moved to drink strong whiskey
I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived 'till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

A face that dances and it haunts me
With laughter still ringin in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
even, even after all these years

I don't want you thinkin that I don't get asked to dinner
Cuz I'm here to say that I sometimes do
And even though I may seem to feel a touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

--Colin Hay, "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You"

Chapter Seven

I woke up the next morning with a hangover yet again, but unlike the last night when I'd drank myself into oblivion, the details weren't sketchy - they were clear as day. Danny's angry confession, the true reason behind his fight with his parents, and even more so, the reason why he didn't finish school and what he had been doing for the past three years.

And the kiss.

Oh, the kiss.

I realized as I laid in bed the next morning that I didn’t even feel guilty about it. A week ago, not only would I have been disgusted at the thought of kissing Danny, I never would've dreamed of cheating on Tristan. But right now, Tristan was absolute last on my list of worries.

I groaned and rubbed my fingers against my temples. I didn't know what to do now. What did I want? I had effed things up with Tristan, and I didn't know why I wasn't worried about fixing them. But on the other hand, I didn't think I could just drop Tristan and give it another go with Danny - that would be absolutely insane.

As I laid there thinking I realized that there was only one thing I wanted for sure - and that was to talk with Danny. I got up and threw on a sweatshirt on top of my pajama top, grabbed my hotel key and snuck over to Ben's room. It wasn't that early in the morning, but I figured people probably shouldn't know that we slept in other rooms - or maybe they should, so they would believe we were breaking up? Everything was so confusing. I knocked on the door, and Ben appeared a moment later.

"Hey, Ashley, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Um, okay… is Danny here? I need to talk with him," I said.

"Actually he's not," Ben answered, leaning against the door frame. "He got up about an hour ago and left, didn't say where he was going." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Alright, well… when you see him, will you tell him I'm looking for him?" I asked. He nodded.

"Sure," he responded quietly. I turned to go back to my room, but he stopped me. "Ashley."

"Yeah?"

He paused, looking as though he was unsure if he wanted to say it. "What are you going to say to him?" he finally asked. I shifted my weight on my feet.

"I'm not sure," I said. "I just… need to talk to him, I guess." He once again looked unsure about whether or not he should say what he was thinking. "Ben, just say it. What is it?" I urged him.

"Don't break his heart again," he blurted out. "Okay? I've never seen him like he was last night, and I don't ever want to. I'm not saying that you have to go run off and kiss him and tell him you'll be together forever… just don't crush him again, okay?"

The guilt laid heavy on my shoulders.

"Okay," I whispered before walking back to my room. I laid down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. There were no wedding-related events until the rehearsal dinner that night, so I wasn't sure what to do besides stare at the ceiling and let these thoughts swirl around in my head all day.

I sat up and walked over to the counter to make myself some coffee in the small pot next to the sink, but on my way there, something small and silver caught my eye.

Danny's keys.

They were sitting on the dresser next to the TV. I realized that he must've left them there the day before, and since he wasn't going to his apartment anytime soon, he either didn't realize that he didn't have them, or didn't care.

The idea had popped up in my head so quickly that I surprised myself - take the keys, go to our apartment - HIS apartment.

I flopped down onto the bed again and put the pillow over my head, squeezing the pillow as if I could squeeze the idea right out of my head. I don't know why I wanted to go, but I did. I wanted to see it. I HAD to see it. I let out another grunt and squeezed the pillow over my head even tighter. No, I did NOT have to see it. I was going to lay there for a few hours, nurse my hangover with a cup of coffee, and wait for Danny to get back so we could talk like sane, rational adults - NOT adults who were considering what I was pretty sure was close to breaking and entering.

I realized that I was having trouble breathing, so I pulled the pillow off and replaced it under my head. I grabbed the remote and tried to force myself to watch TV, but I wasn't paying attention. Before I could stop myself, my mind had wandered…

"Move in with me."

I choked on my lo mein and started coughing, my eyes wide as I picked up my water sitting on the coffee table. I took a drink and managed to clear my throat, and then I looked over at my boyfriend of only four months incredulously.

"Excuse me?" I said. I realized that he had been smiling the entire time.

"Move in with me," he repeated, without any further explanation. I waited for a moment, expecting some sort of clarification, but when I didn't get it I cleared my throat again.

"Okay… and why do you want to move in together?" I asked. Danny laughed.

"Um… because I love you, maybe?" he suggested. I smiled despite myself, feeling a slight blush rising to my cheeks. We had only said "I love you" for the first time a few weeks before, and we were still at the stage that when we said it to each other it gave me a little thrill and made the butterflies pop back into my stomach. "C'mon, Ash, doesn’t it sound amazing? Waking up together every morning, going to bed together every night…" Danny had picked up my hand and was holding it. I was still smiling, even though I knew I shouldn't be.

"When did you realize that you wanted to do this?" I asked. He shrugged one shoulder.

"Just now. I was just sitting here, thinking about how I don't want you to go back to your apartment," he answered. I sighed.

"I guess I have been here for the past, like, four days…" I said.

"And weren't you complaining about not having your stuff here?" he pointed out. "And how inconvenient it was?"

"Yeah…" I said. "And I don't really like going back to my crappy apartment by myself…" Danny took the box of Chinese food out of my hand and put it down on the coffee table, along with his food. He turned to me and put his arms around my waist, pulling me half onto his lap.

"Ash," he said, his voice more serious than I'd ever heard it before. "I love you. I want you with me all the time, I can't get enough of you." He paused, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling my resolve giving way.

"Stop," I whispered.

"Why?"

"Because you're making me say yes," I said. He leaned up and kissed me, and when he looked at me again, he was beaming.

"So that's a yes?" he asked. The smile was crawling across my face now too. All I could do was nod. He let out a whoop and kissed me again, pushing me back so he was laying on top of me on the couch. He kissed my neck as I giggled.

"Okay, wait a second…"

"No! No waiting. Moving in sex," he said, nibbling at my skin. I giggled again and pushed him off.

"Hang on. I want to ask… are we going to live here?" I asked. Apparently the look on my face gave me away, because he frowned and looked around his apartment.

"What's wrong with this place?" he asked.

"Nothing… except that it's bursting and there's no space as it is, and you've seen my closet…" I pointed out. He laughed.

"That's true," he said. But I could tell I was close to losing him, as he was currently pushing my shirt up over my stomach. I laughed, and he looked up at me again.

"We'll find a new place," he said, leaning down to kiss me again.

"But…" I tried to protest during kisses. "It can't… be… too ex…pensive…"

"We'll find a cheap place," he said, "with enough space for both of us. Okay? Can we have sex now? Please?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't you think that's a bit of a pipe dream? A big, cheap apartment in New York City?"

"We'll figure it out," he said, pushing my shirt up even further and sliding his hand over my breast. "Now… sex?" I looked at him coyly.

"Mmm… I don't know, I'm still hungry. Let's finish eating first," I said, trying to sit up. He shook his head vehemently.

"No!" he said. Before I knew what was happening, he had swept me up in his arms. I shrieked as he carried me into the bedroom.

I pulled myself out of my daydream, realizing how it was suddenly extremely warm in the hotel room. I pushed my blankets off, and my eyes caught the keys again. I sighed.

"You know you're going to do it. You might as well leave now so you have a chance of not getting caught whenever Danny comes back," I told myself. I dragged myself out of bed and pulled some clothes on.

I was amazed at how easily my feet found the path to the apartment. I remembered where it was, but I hadn't been in New York in so long, and starting at the hotel had made me lose my bearings a little bit… but soon enough I found myself standing outside the building. I stood on the sidewalk and stared at it for a good ten minutes before I took a deep breath and walked up to the door.

I slid the key in the lock and walked into the front door. The entryway hadn't changed a bit…

"Stop it!" I said, giggling, unable to push the door open with Danny's hands at my waist, tickling me mercilessly. "Seriously, Danny, I'm going to drop the groceries!"

"Well, then, stop having such a cute ass and stop walking up stairs in front of me with it," he said, reaching his hands down and squeezing my butt. I squealed, and the groceries fell to the floor.

"Excuse me, miss," the voice behind me jolted me out of my reverie. I jumped and turned around, seeing a woman standing behind me, waiting to get through the door.

"Oh… sorry," I said, moving out the way quickly. I made a point of looking at the woman's face as she brushed past me, but I didn't recognize her. I sighed, fingering the key in my hand, and then headed for the stairs.

"Sixth floor, no elevator," I muttered to myself…

"Sixth floor," Danny said, ushering me forward.

"Okay, where's the elevator?" I asked him. We were seeing one of our potential new apartments for the first time, and I was excited, because on paper this apartment was perfect - great price, near ideal location…

"Uh, no elevator," Danny responded. I raised an eyebrow.

"Sixth floor, no elevator?" I asked.

"Sixth floor, no elevator."

I sighed. "Sixth floor no elevator." I smirked. "Well at least I know you won't get fat."

I trudged up the familiar five flights of stairs, feeling déjà vu wash over me. My heart was pounding as I reached the sixth floor, probably partially because of climbing all those stairs, but also because I didn't know what I would find once I opened that apartment door. A huge mess? A random woman's bra strewn about the living room, left over from a recent one night stand? A bag of my hair and a shrine of pictures of me? I really had no idea what to expect.

I reached the sixth floor, only slightly out of breath, and walked slowly down to the end of the hall. I braced myself for whatever I was about to see as I stuck my key in the lock.

It was the same, I realized as I took my first step into the apartment. The furniture was the same, arranged in the same way, probably because it had all been his furniture to begin with. Some of the decorative touches I had added were gone, like the framed prints I had hung up on one wall, or the picture frames that I usually had on every available surface. I took another few steps into the small apartment, closing the door behind me. I looked around at the worn brown leather couch, where we would snuggle and watch movies on Saturday nights, the plain unstained wood table where we would cook and eat dinner together, the kitchen counter where we once…

"Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea," I mumbled aloud, as a preventative measure to keep that memory from coming back to me. Even still, I knew I wasn't headed for the door anytime soon. I wandered over to the huge windows, one of the major reasons we had decided on this apartment…

"Jesus, I thought I was in shape!" I said, panting for breath as we finally reached the sixth floor.

"You are in shape," Danny said, grabbing my ass. "Look at that. Firm as a peach!"

I burst out laughing. "You just compared my ass to a peach?"

"Maybe…"

I giggled. We walked down the hall and saw the landlord waiting for us outside the apartment, apartment 614. We greeted him and he unlocked the door for us. The apartment was currently unoccupied, so it looked empty and bigger than it probably was, without any furniture in it. The first thing I saw was the windows - the huge windows overlooking the neighborhood.

"Wow…" I mumbled, walking over to them. Danny came up behind me and looked as well.

"Pretty good view, huh?"

"I'll say…"

My knees felt weak and I slowly sank down onto the couch. I had a lump in my throat that I couldn't get rid of, and for some reason I was fighting back tears. I looked down at my hands in my lap, but as I did that I noticed the plate sitting on the coffee table, with the crust of a sandwich left on it. I bit my lip.

"Honey, I'm home!" I called out with a grin as I walked into the front door. "Feels good to say that," I added, tossing my keys onto the coffee table. It was our first night in our brand new apartment, and I had a sense of happiness that felt like it would never disappear. I looked up as Danny emerged from the kitchen, and immediately broke into an even bigger smile. He was dressed in his nice khakis and a plain blue button down shirt - an outfit that would look almost casual to anyone who didn't know him, but I recognized the effort he'd made in dressing his best for me. And if that weren't cute enough… he had an apron tied around his waist.

"Well there's my little Suzy Homemaker," I said, walking over to him. He grinned and held up the spatula in his hand.

"Tell me about it. I made dinner," he said, leaning over and pecking me on the lips. I raised my eyebrows.

"No way. I don't believe you," I said. He took a step to the side and ushered me into the kitchen.

"See for yourself," he said. I walked past him and looked over at the kitchen table… and burst into laughter. He had set the table beautifully, using our best dishes (which were not matched) and silverware, with a vase of roses as a centerpiece and a bottle of champagne chilling in a portable cooler.

"I made my specialty," he said, wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"Yes, I see that…" I remarked, still laughing as I looked at the grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup adorning our not-so-fancy dishes. I heard Danny chuckling behind me.

"Well… I tried," he said. I turned around in his arms and wrapped mine around his neck.

"It's wonderful," I said, kissing him. He smiled.

"I just wanted to welcome you home," he said, kissing me again.

"Mmm… you did, baby."

I was staring at the sandwich crust when it happened.

I heard a key in the lock at the door, and after the person realized that the door was already unlocked, it swung open. My heart stopped when I saw Danny standing there, a single key dangling from his fingertips. The expression on his face was completely unreadable, and I was finding that I was having trouble breathing. After standing there, both of us frozen for a moment, he took a few steps in and swung the door closed behind him.

"What are you doing here?" we both asked at the exact same moment. Danny raised an eyebrow when he realized that I had asked him the same thing he'd asked me.

"What do you mean, what am I doing here? It's my apartment," he said. I gulped.

"I, uh… I just meant… I have your keys," I said stupidly, holding up the keys that were still in my hand. He held up his key as well.

"I keep a spare in my wallet," he said. "And I forgot my clothes for the rehearsal dinner, so I came back to get them."

"Oh," I said quietly, putting my hand back down.

"Your turn now," he said. "What are you doing here?" I looked away from him for the first time, feeling my cheeks flush.

"Honestly? I can't tell you," I said, looking at my shoes. "You forgot your keys in the hotel room, and I saw them… and I came here. I don't know why." I noticed, without looking, that he seemed to hesitate for a moment before taking another couple of steps towards me.

"Bringing back some memories?" he asked quietly. I nodded.

"This whole weekend…" I started, but I couldn't quite bring myself to finish. He took another step towards me.

"This whole weekend… what?" he prompted. I took a deep breath.

"This whole weekend I've just been thinking about us, and all these memories have been coming back to me, and…"

"And what?" he prompted again. He sat down next to me on the couch, but his proximity startled me and I hopped up and looked down at him.

"And… and…" I stuttered. "And I don't know! I told you, I don't know what I'm doing!"

He stood up next to me. "Ash… it's okay, calm down," he said, touching my elbow. I realized that the tears had finally bubbled over and were spilling down my cheeks.

"No, see? That's it," I blubbered. I knew I was officially not making any sense at all, but I couldn't seem to stop. "You have to stop… stop…"

"Stop what?" he gently prodded me once again.

"You're supposed to be an asshole!" I blurted out. "That's how I remember you. You were supposed to be this jealous, overprotective asshole who drove me away. Because if you're that guy, then I don't have to worry about it, and I know I made the right decision… but you're not being that guy! You're being… being…"

"Being what?" he asked, standing up next to me, extremely close to me, in fact.

"You're being…" I trailed off softly. I shook my head. "Danny…"

"What?"

I gulped. "What if we made a mistake?" I whispered, so softly I wasn't sure if he could hear me, even though he was standing less than a foot away from me.

"Do you think we made a mistake?" he asked. My heart was pounding so loudly I could barely hear him.

"I don't know," I replied. "That's what I'm saying… I'm so confused…"

"I can make it easy for you, Ash," he said. I looked up at him, and he put his hands on either side of my face. "Do you still love me? Because if you still love me… that's all that matters. Screw everything else. Do you love me?"

I closed my eyes, the tears sliding down my cheeks. When I opened my eyes again his face was mere inches from mine.

"Yes." I mouthed the word more than I actually said it, and within seconds his mouth was on mine. My heart soared as he pushed his fingers into my hair, and my hands gripped onto his waist for support.

I knew what I had to do when I got back to the hotel. After spending at least ten minutes standing in Danny's (and my - it felt weird to just call it his) apartment, making out, I told him that I had to think things over and I headed back for the hotel. But the truth was, I didn't need to think anymore. I'd thought enough already. For once in my life I was going to act according to what I felt. I had been so obsessed for the past few years with making the "right" choice, for myself and for my career, that I had completely ignored what I knew deep down in my heart I really wanted.

And that was Danny.

I was making my way through the lobby of the hotel towards the elevators and was so consumed in thought that at first I didn't hear Kayla calling my name until probably the third or fourth time. I looked over and saw her and Elizabeth sitting at a table with a laptop in front of them, waving at me. I smiled and waved back, then walked towards them.

"Perfect timing, girly! We were just admiring how photogenic you and Danny are," Kayla said, gesturing to her laptop. My heart suddenly stilled in my chest, though I was unsure of why. I skirted around the table so I could see the screen, and my breath caught in my throat.

There, on the front page of the People magazine website, was a picture of Danny and I, caught up in each other and kissing like there was no tomorrow on the streets of New York.

After catching my surprise, I leaned in to read the caption underneath.

"Despite rumors circulating that Mariana Frank is dating Tristan DeWitt, Frank was seen on the streets of New York, locked in an apparently passionate embrace after what looked like a lovers' quarrel. Our photographer was tipped off to the couples' presence in this downtown club, and caught the two in this steamy liplock right out in the public eye."

"So I guess the cat's out of the bag, huh?" Kayla asked. I nodded, feeling my anger welling up from my stomach into my throat.

"Guess so."

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update! I had a really busy end to my summer, including a big break up and a big move, and now I'm starting student teaching, so it's been a busy few weeks! I'll try to continue working on the story whenever I have some spare time... thanks for sticking with me, guys! :)