You Made it Rain
A Songfic Dedicated to Tiffania

Okay, instead of completely writing out her death scene, I have written a songfic for Tiffania, and her full utter devotion to Stefanie and Alexandris, and she reminisces about the past as she lays dying at the cliff. Set to Numb by Linkin Park.

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

The girl was a closed case before I’d even attempted to open her. The first cold glare that she sent my way not only intrigued me, but aroused an insatiable desire to break her. There wasn’t a single Student that gave her the time of day, and whilst Alexandris himself advised me to leave it be, I refused. Even throughout her schooling I knew she wasn’t good enough. She couldn’t avoid their taunts, their threats, the constant humiliation of her weaknesses. She’s got some imperfections, but why did they have to collect them all and throw them in her face? And yet, she persevered. Was it her iron will, or her stubborn disposition that drove her to prove herself better than the others? Even as she fell further and further from her goals, losing sight entirely of her original plans, she didn’t leave. I wouldn’t let her leave. She reflected what everyone else had made her experience, an apathetic, icy façade, serving to protect herself from breaking altogether. Such a strong girl.

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and less like you

I won’t lie-it took a hell of a long time to coax her into accepting me as a friend. What was so damn bad about having someone-not just someone, but an S-Rank Sacred-offer you friendship, protection? An everlasting protection I’d sworn an oath to? Was she so far gone into her own solitudinal world that she was beyond allowing someone to care for her? Did she know how to love? She always seemed to find a way to keep me right there, waiting. If she had of chosen to walk away, I would’ve waited for her. I could never find the right words to say. She was so goddamn independent, refusing to bend, so I bent for her. Unfortunately…I bent until I broke.

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

She admired me, I know she did. I noticed the differentiation in her behavior around me, around others, but more often than not, herself. She became more confident. I had more faith in that one girl than I had in the other hundred in her Class. I believed she could make it, but did she? If she did, I suppose, she wouldn’t have flunked the exams and the training. Why was she here? I was the closest thing to a friend she had. I’d kept her as a Student for a reason, and yet it seemed to escape her entirely. It hurt to see her make the same mistakes, say all the wrong things, and then cry at her own failure. If she could channel that sorrow into anger, she’d do well.

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

The day that she failed was one I would remember for eternity (however long that lasted); the crestfallen emotion in those beautiful tan eyes as her name was found absent from the list of all ranks. While the graduated Soldiers celebrated and boasted over what ranks they had, she dragged her feet across the matting of the hall, passing me with not so much as a glance in my direction. That hurt me the most-did she blame me, for her failure? I insisted on joining her, embracing her in my arms with the offer of protection from the stars still standing strong. I would always be there for her, even when the rest of the world turned its back on her. I loved this kid, more like a sister than anything, and nothing could get between her and I. That’s the way it was supposed to stay. My wish was really, really short lived.

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

Even as I bumped her up to the spangly title of C-Rank, I couldn’t imagine leaving her side. Throughout the Wintra and Yolea Incidents, then 3 years of torture at Leif’s hands, my promise remained pinned firmly to the deepest walls of my heart. It will never leave, even after I’m dead and buried six feet under. That’s not too long away, now that I think about it. When I punched the sadistic scientist bastard right in his disgusting face, the first, and only thing on my mind was to get my friend the hell out of there. I’d never moved so fast in all of my life. Mentally dying and beyond consciousness, there was no way she would survive on her own. My priority was and is, first and foremost, to protect her. And if that meant sleepless nights dragging her painstakingly across plains of Greangrana, I was going to do it. I was going to die for you. Pun intended.

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I’m becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

To be honest, when we were surrounded by old allies out to kill us, I was scared as hell. Not for my own life, but for Stefanie’s. That girl-that woman-was everything I’d taken real pride in. I’d plucked her out of the depths of failure and made her into something worthwhile. Although to me, she’d always been worthwhile. Their gashes and slashes? Hadn’t felt them. But Alex’s sword plunging through my chest? Hell yeah I had felt that, along with his lips…kiss of death. But even so, I couldn’t think of myself then, only Stefanie. Was she alive? Dead? Would Alex take her to Leif? Would he stab her and then dump her in a crevasse to rot? Only after he had departed were my prayers answered. My senses were sharp enough, and even the Power in my system was working overtime to heal the stab would, I knew there was no way for me to survive. Even as she crawled toward me, bruised, bloody, brokenhearted, I forced myself to smile my last.

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’m tired of being what you want me to be
I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’m tired of being what you want me to be

There was no denying that I loved her now. I had to tell her so, I told her to live. Live for me. Breathe for me. Fight for me. No matter how badly she wanted me to live, it was time for me to move on. The Sanctuary was waiting for me, right? Hush, don’t cry beautiful. Live for me, smile for me, fight for me. Love for me. I can feel the blood easing now, as my heart slows. It’s time to go now. I love you, Stef. See you in the Sanctuary, okay?

As she lets an anguished scream part from her lips, I let my eyes close. It was nice, having all that I had. No matter what, Stefanie, even through death, I’ll be here. Just…where you can’t see me. I’ll be with you, fighting with you, through you, all up until it’s your turn to come to the Sanctuary. The last of breath is adorned with a peaceful smile, and with the last beat of my heart, I let myself go.

Goodbye, Stefanie.