Chapter Eight: Shopping Spree

“Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate/

The lives of everyone you know.”

– My Chemical Romance, “Helena”

Dinner had been pleasant…minus the “pleasant” part. Everyone had crowded around the clean dining room table, passing around hot dishes like on a traditional Thanksgiving. Zi, of course, had been kidding about the eggplant and instead, the gang proceeded to chow on salad with Italian vinaigrette along with good ole chicken wings. However, after the meal was served, Zi decided to announce to the boys that she was a vegetarian.

Carter nearly choked on a chicken wing. “Pardon?” he spluttered, wiping his mouth. “You’re a what?”

“A veggie-tarian,” Parker told him slowly. “It means she don’t eat meat.”

“I know what it means you idiot,” Carter snapped.

Even Jasper looked surprised. “Honey,” he said hesitantly to Zi, “you still have a shotgun strapped to your back, and you’re telling us you’re a vegetarian?”

“It’s a good thing I made salad then,” Carter announced proudly to no one in particular.

“It’s hell trying to cook for her,” Jet added dully from where he was gnawing chicken off the bone and placing the remains on Winterlynn’s plate. The little girl didn’t seem to be too pleased about this arrangement and was close to making a scene about it.

“Stop it, Jet,” Zi snapped at him, eyeing the discarded chicken bones with distaste. “That’s disgusting.” With this, Jet licked one of the bones clean of grease and dropped it into Zi’s salad.

Chaos ensued.

After a drawn out food duel-to-the-death, the tired residents of the spacious townhouse climbed the stairs wearily and fell asleep. Jet, Jasper, Zi, and Winterlynn, however, had to settle for the carpeted living room floor and squashy couches. Jet made sure to push his companions out of the way to claim the couch closest to the TV. Unlike his selfish brother, Jasper was polite enough to offer the remaining couch to Zi and the little girl. His manners were much wasted when Zi responded by kicking Jasper in the shin, telling him she didn’t like charity.

Well, then.

“Goodnight, shortie,” Jasper called hoarsely from where he was lying on the carpet, using his jacket as a pillow. Jet was already snoring.

“Shut up,” Zi replied crankily.

Jasper smirked as he rolled over and went to sleep.

--

Looking back, Jasper realized it wasn’t exactly a rude awakening to open his eyes in the morning and find that Zi had rolled sideways off of the couch sometime during the night and had continued to sleep half on top of him. Winterlynn had gained ownership of the aforementioned couch and the little girl was deemed prime suspect of the case at hand for Zi needed someone to blame after Jasper continued to make jokes about her trying to get him in bed.

“Zi, could you please pass the syrup?” Jasper asked as sweetly as he could. “You know, if you’re not too tired from last night.”

Zi responded with an equally sweet smile. She picked up the plastic bottle of maple syrup and stood up, calmly walking around the table to where Jasper sat. She put a slim, tanned hand on his left shoulder and proceeded to move it up to his ear to play with his earlobe. “Sure thing, dear,” she told him with an enchanting smile as she bent down and kissed his cheek before flipping the cap off the bottle and pouring syrup all over Jasper’s head.

“Is that enough for you?” she asked innocently as Jasper’s mouth gaped open and he blinked the sticky substance from his eyes.

Parker looked depressed at these new arrangements. “Man, that was our last bottle too. Looks like we won’t be having pancakes again soon.”

“You can still have pancakes,” Zi replied as she sat down again. “They taste delicious with ketchup.”

Christopher snorted up his orange juice, spraying half the table…Jasper included. “Damn it,” Jasper snapped, now wiping the orange substance from his eyes, “are you all out to get me?”

“I don’t know, Jasper,” said Zi with a tight smile, “maybe you should have thought about that before you started making fun of me.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you slept with me.”

“Maybe you-What? That doesn’t even make sense!”

The band boys were all watching this with increasing interest, popping strawberries into their mouths as if it were popcorn. Jet however, did not look amused. He stood up and said loudly, “If you two are done with breakfast, why don’t you pass the rest of your pancakes over to someone who could use them.” It was not a question. He motioned Jasper and Zi to slide their plates over. They did so before continuing to glare at each other.

“Damn it,” Zi snapped, “I was just starting to get used to you.”

“I was just starting to get used to my hair,” Jasper retorted. “Now I’m going to have to shave it all off.” It was true, his hair did look a mess. He snorted. “Remind me never to sleep with you again.”

“With pleasure,” Zi replied with narrowed eyes.

“Trust me, there’s no pleasure involved,” Jasper said icily.

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Alright!” Parker said loudly, clapping his hands together. “Enough of that. What does everyone want to do today? This evening the band and I have a gig to do down at the bar off Wriggan’s Street, but we’re free for the rest of the day. Any sightseeing you guys want to do?”

“Sightseeing?” Jet questioned, his eyebrows aloft. “You realize that we’ve lived here in Bloodstone as long as you have.”

“But I bet you’ve never been in upper class as a tourist instead of as a thief,” Parker reasoned.

“Well, it’s settled then,” said Zi, putting her hands on her hips.

“What is?” Jasper asked uncertainly.

“We’re going shopping!”

--

Zi had not been kidding. Before going out into the chilly morning sunlight, the Parked Carts insisted that Jet and Jasper go in disguise just in case there happened to be any of Slade’s cronies around that would recognize them. Zi was safe considering no one from BS corporations had ever seen her before. The brothers looked almost identical in their matching leather outfits with ball caps and sunglasses.

“This is ridiculous,” Jet stated. “I’d rather stay here and watch television.”

“Do I get a mustache too?” Jasper asked hopefully. “You know, I was thinking about growing one of those myself.” His hair was wet from the shower he had taken before leaving so he could get all of the maple syrup out.

“Sorry,” said Carter apologetically, “we don’t usually keep fake mustaches on hand.”

“I haven’t had new clothes in ages!” Zi sighed as they walked out onto the road where a lot of people milled around already laden with shopping bags.

“It’s not like you need them,” Jasper told her. “I doubt you grow much.”

Zi stopped in her tracks. “I swear, if you call me short one more time…”

“I didn’t call you short!” Jasper denied. “I just said you probably don’t grow much.”

“You implied it,” Zi accused.

“Will you two stop arguing?” Jet snapped, interrupting the two. “God, and you people think I’m rude.”

“You are rude,” said Parker.

“Wude,” said Winterlynn in agreement. Everyone looked at her with raised eyebrows. She gave them all a big smile.

“So how are we going to pay for stuff?” Jet asked casually. “Because I did bring a gun with us if-”

“We don’t steal!” Carter cried, aghast. “We’re good people…Sorta.”

“I want a new dress,” Zi decided. “And new jeans…Maybe a few new shirts. And socks. God yes. I’m tired of having to use Jet’s socks. Maybe some panties too…or a bra. Do you think it would be too much to ask for new pajamas? Is there an eye place anywhere? Maybe I could get new frames for my glasses. A new hat; I definitely need one of those.”

Jet and Jasper looked at each other, horrified.

“We’ve created a monster,” Parker muttered under his breath.

“I wouldn’t say no to a new bathing suit,” Zi added, “though there probably aren’t many pools around here. I know! We should hit the beach sometime soon and…Say, is that Slade? That guy is with a Chinese woman. Jet, didn’t you say that Slade had an assistant who was Chinese?”

At the mention of Slade, everyone snapped to pay attention to Zi’s seemingly endless chatter. “What was that?” Parker asked. “Did you say Slade?”

Zi pointed to an ice cream parlor. Slade and the beautiful Chinese woman were coming out of the shop, each holding a waffle cone piled high with strawberry ice cream. Jet and Jasper conveniently slid back behind the others to hide their faces as Zi whispered, “Isn’t it a little cold for ice cream?”

Slade looked up and spotted his son. “Parker!” he cried, looking surprised. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you wandering around.”

“Yeah…,” replied Parker slowly as his father walked up. “I was just shopping with my friends.”

Slade looked down on Parker’s “friends” with disdain. “Ah, I forgot you were in that silly little band. Some of these faces I don’t recognize. Who’s the girl?”

“That’s Zi,” replied Parker.

“Zi?” Slade questioned. “And how do you know her?”

“I’m his girlfriend,” Zi cut in. She was obviously trying to help Parker impress his father.

“Ah,” said Slade, looking surprised. “Isn’t that nice? Who are these other two gentlemen?” He was referring to Jet and Jasper.

“Oh,” said Parker hesitantly. “Those are our band agents. They find us gigs and stuff. The one on the right is Boris and the other is…Norris.”

“Boris and Norris?” Slade questioned in disbelief.

“They’re twins,” Parker explained quickly.

“I see,” said Slade with a slight dubious frown. He didn’t even bother to ask about the child.

“Yeah…it’s a good thing we ran into you. I have something for you.” Parker reached in his pocket and pulled out Pyrope’s necklace. Slade’s jaw dropped.

“Where did you get that?” Slade demanded.

“I took it from that Jet guy. He was all upset about the death of his brother…or at least that’s why I think he was crying. He gave it up without a fight. This made me suspicious so…I shot him.” Parker shrugged apologetically. “I hope you don’t mind. But I knew this necklace meant a lot to you so…here it is.” Parker handed the necklace to Slade.

Slade looked so uncharacteristically happy that he nearly hugged his son. Remembering that Parker had leprosy, Slade backed away hastily. “You’ve really outdone yourself,” Slade admitted. “I’m going to put this in desk safe immediately.”

Jet and Jasper looked at each other, sharing a private smile. Now they knew where Slade would be keeping the necklace.