Woo new chapter. This story is so near to being rounded up :) Only about 5 more to go!

Beat me if I owe you a review. Or at least send me an angry message. It will be fun :)

OK. So this chapter had allusions to previous ones. Like 'Kimberly' when Luca sees Michelle through a crack in his wall and I said it was randomly important? Here's why! The 'importance' is a little obscure, so feel free to be confused, but I'll explain it to anyone who cares. Anyhoo, this link is the reason why he suddenly goes all emo.

The tattoo is a permanent version of the one Luca drew on Jenny's back in 'Daisy Print'.

Lamberry's infidelity is important (and pretty implausible!) who do you think it's with?

Bunny is Luca's new nickname as of ch22. In the next chapter, Swallow gets a new name too (although it's actually his real name).

Swallow is obsessed with coffee and Jenny is possibly obsessed with him, 'yesterday' she stopped a barny between Luc and Swallow by throwing herself at Swallow.

So.... Jenny Wren has just left the FAE. Swallow's not happy. Invisible people can't play card games. Basically the nub and jist of this chapter...

Please let me know what you think if you have the time :) One day, I hope to edit this thing to death and make it actually intelligible!

xx

23. Screwed

I play cards with Mikey until she gets back, of course he needs me to turn them over for him, because he’s a lazy little bastard. I glare at him.

“Check.”

One of the many bad things about imaginary friends is that they’re shit at poker. Mikey goes all in on an unsuited ten and two at the river. I win with a crappy pair of fives.

Katie walks past my door. “What are you doing?” she asks.

“Waiting. Want to join me?”

She nods slowly, then comes in, glancing at the two poker hands in front of me, but saying nothing.

“What are you waiting for?”

“Oh. Well. Jenny’s coming to stay,” I mumble.

“Ooh err,” she laughs. “Does Mum know?”

I shake my head. I imagine what Jenny and Swallow are doing right now. I see Swallow’s hands on her, racing all over her body right in front of me. I sigh and lean back to look at the ceiling; I have bigger things to worry about.

Mikey elbows me in the side and I flinch away. “It’s alright,” he says slowly. “Things always get worse before they get better. You need to get over this, Luca; be logical.”

I nod slowly. “Yeah, I know, but...” I look at Katie suddenly and smile. “Sorry,” I say, tapping my head. “I’m just...talking to myself, you know?”

“Okay,” says Katie. “I guess.”

“Will you play?” I ask her. “I was setting up a game. For Jenny.”

Katie’s lip curls. “Don’t know how,” she says blankly. “You look sick, Luc, what’s up with you?”

“Sick?” I say distantly. “I’m not sick; I’m worried.”

“About what?”

I shrug. “Nothing.”

Katie smiles. “Then what’s the trouble, Luc? You’ve got to—”

The doorbell rings. We both get up and walk onto the landing and see Kimberly opening the door to a beaming Jenny Wren with two suitcases and a giant stuffed apple. Kimberly moves baby Laura onto her hip and stares at the skinny ginger eyeliner-obsessed girl in front of her. When Jenny Wren came to visit this morning, Kimberly had been at TESCOs. This wasn’t a complete coincidence

“Hi,” Jenny says brightly. “My name is Jenny Wren.”

I can see x-rated phrases flying through Kimberly’s head. She manages, “Oh. I see.”

Jenny puts her stuffed apple on the floor and Gordie and Nameless both attack it instantly. She sticks her hand out at Kimberly, and Kimberly shakes it warily.

“I’m—I’m Kimberly.”

Jenny looks down, then back again at Kimberly. “Has Luc told you about me?”

“A little,” Kimberly replies stiffly. “Are you...staying with us?”

Jenny Wren nods and looks up at me and smiles radiantly. “Hopefully; I’ve run away, Mrs Kelly.”

Kimberly looks over her shoulder at me and Katie, narrowing her eyes. “Were you anything to do with this?”

“No,” I reply. “I had no idea.”

“It’s true, Mrs Kelly,” Jenny adds. “I just have nowhere to go, and Luca’s my only friend in the whole wide world. Sad, really, isn’t it?”

It at this point that my dear foster sister wanders out of the lounge, sees Jenny Wren and the strange giant apple, swears, then heads out to the garden for ‘some fresh air’.

“I know Tor too,” Jenny smiles. “I’m very sorry. I just...” she wipes her eyes and her lip trembles. “I just had to get away.”

Her shoulders shake and she drops her bags onto the floor, weeping crocodile tears with skill. Katie jabs me in the side with her elbow and I stumble down the stairs to help ‘cheer her up’.

“Jen,” I say, hugging her. “Don’t cry! We’ll help you, won’t we Mum?”

I look at Kimberly desperately. Won’t we? She bites her lip, still frowning.

“I suppose you can stay for a couple of days. Until you find somewhere better.”

“Oh thank you, Mrs Kelly,” Jenny says, wrapping her arms tightly around Kimberly’s neck and kissing each of her cheeks. Kimberly flushes slightly and her eyebrows rise as she takes in Jenny’s skirt, stockings and suspenders combination.

“Separate rooms. You can sleep on Katie’s floor,” Kimberly suggests.

Jenny blushes like an innocent little child. “Of course,” she titters. “If Katie doesn’t mind.”

Katie beams. “I don’t,” says my little sister, rushing downstairs and grabbing the giant apple.

“I can teach you make up and stuff,” Jenny says brightly. “It’ll be like a sleepover.”

Kimberly’s lip twists; she probably thinks that ‘and stuff’ involves sex and drugs and mass suicide.

“And if you need help with your homework,” Jenny says, looking at Mum hopefully. “I can do that too.”

Kimberly smiles bravely and gives me a look that clearly tells me that I am a horny teenage boy after one thing—bollocks, really; I am practically asexual. But hey, what is she supposed to think when she finds out that my first girlfriend dresses like a burlesque dancer and walks kind of funny?

My first girlfriend. I smile slightly at the thought, but then I remember what she’s been doing over at Number 4 and feel sick. I understand it—she wanted to show Swallow that we weren’t together, and the FAE promotes polyandry anyway—but I don’t like it.

We sit on a mattress on Katie’s floor. She gazes up at Katie’s Cinderella Story poster and sighs. She bounces twice. Her toes curl in black stockings. Her lips tilt upwards. The freckles on her nose wiggle like yellow lightning. They crawl over her face as a million tiny insects.

“I’ve got a secret for you, Luca Kelly,” she whispers.

“What?”

“S, E, X,” Jenny spells.

“Here?” I gape.

Jenny giggles. “Well...”

Katie bursts into the room, cuddling Nameless like a giant wriggling, teddy bear. “Mum told me not to leave you alone,” she mumbles.

“Fine,” I reply, wondering just how interfering Kimberly is.

“Actually,” Jenny goes on. “I was talking about Swallow. I did it. I had to do it. I did it because I love you.”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, Katie squeaks.

“You can’t love me,” I smirk. “You barely know me.”

Jenny stares at me. Her eyes are so big and wide and innocent. “What?” she mutters. “You’re saying that you don’t love me?”

“I—”

Her eyes bite into me like tigers.

Jesus Christ; she really is a nightmare. But I like her. I really like her. Maybe that means that I do love her somewhere. I wouldn’t know; I’ve never been in love before. I’ve never even wanted to be in love.

“I love you,” I mutter grudgingly. I don’t add a ‘maybe’, or an ‘especially when you’re naked’, although I probably should if I want to be honest.

Jenny’s smile blinds me. “Wow,” she says. “This calls for a celebration. What shall I do?”

I glance at Katie, who is watching us, open-mouthed.

“What do you mean?” I ask carefully.

“Ah!” says Jenny Wren, ignoring me. “I know! I’m going out, okay? I’ll be back by nine.” She scrambles to her feet and rushes out of the room, her footsteps cracking like gunfire. “I’ll ask your Mum too, yeah?”

“Alright.”

She leaves me and Katie behind. We stare at each other for a while. Unsurprisingly, my little sister is the first one to break.

“You love her?”

I shrug. “Maybe.”

“What do you think she’s out doing?”

“I...I don’t know,” I say with half a smile. “Something weird.”

Katie nods in slow motion. “Yeah.”

When Jenny Wren comes back, she looks exactly the same. She smiles brightly at Kimberly as she skips through the door and thrusts a bunch of flowers and a giant bar of chocolate into her hands. Kimberly looks pleasantly surprised and goes off to find a vase.

Tor, who lurks in the hallway like a cigarette-flavoured evil mannequin, raises her eyebrows. “Jenny Wren,” she says slowly. “I hear Luca’s dating Sandy Marshall.”

Jenny smiles politely and sidles past Tor to join me in the kitchen. She opens the fridge, scoops out a handful of ice, and puts it into her mouth.

I sip my milk, eying her. What has she been up to?

“Jenny...”

She waves a hand at me, then hobbles off upstairs.

I drink the rest of my milk down so fast it stings my brain, then follow her up. Katie is in bed, so Jenny sits on the landing, rocking her head from side to side with a massive smile on her face.

“Jenny,” I say again. “What—”

“Luge,” she says, lisping strangely. “Di’ I e’er tell yu I’b a masserkiss’?”

“No.” A masochist? The only things I know about masochists come from dirty magazines and videotape. I chuckle to myself.

“No’ a weal one,” she adds, holding her forefinger and thumb close together. “Jus’ a li’l bi’.”

She laughs and sticks her tongue out. A little blue jewel sparkles there, winking at me.

Memories rush back to that dream I had of her, right before I saw Mrs Adams through my wall. More memories hit me like a punch in the stomach, bringing tears to my eyes.

“Oh,” I say in a little high-pitched voice. “Right.”

My eyes are dripping. My head is…unclear.

Jenny winks, emulating her piercing. “Jus’ way until you see ma ta’oo.”

She turns and pulls down her stripy jumper to reveal the tip of one wing that twists in ink—no longer magic marker. I wonder how much it must have cost. I grab her shoulders and she winces and cries out and smiles, all at the same time.

“I do love you,” I mutter as my hands bleed and the manifestation of my guilt complex lolls in front of us with his brains hanging out. “I love you, Jenny Wren, I love you, I love you.”

I think she asks me if I’m alright, but I can’t reply because Tor has followed us up and is staring at me as I cry into Jenny Wren’s shoulder like a pathetic huge baby. But Tor isn’t laughing, and this worries me more than anything.

Jenny’s fingers drill holes into my back. I get the odd impression that she’s feeling the same way as me. I pull away and look into her eyes and think that right then, for that split second, I might just understand her.

Just when I can’t even understand myself and why the Hell I’m acting this way.

Jenny Wren smiles and drags her fingers across my scalp. “I wan’...” she begins, but then she sees Tor staring and breaks apart. “Caye. I wan’ caye. D’you wan’ caye?”

“I don’t think we have any cake,” I mutter. “Are you even allowed to eat with that thing?”

“We have cake,” Tor says quickly. Then she smiles and goes off into her room.

And I remember Swallow’s words to me.

A friend or a relative. Would Tor be up for fucking me up, I wonder. Well, yeah. Maybe. But I shake the thought away quickly; it was Liam, Swallow was lying. Simple. Tor has no connections with Liam, after all, and how the Hell would she have known about Sam’s money to mention it in the note? It is a stupid thought.

“Caye,” Jenny says, grinning. “Caye!”

Jenny Wren brings a whole plate of banana loaf up to the landing, along with a couple of mugs, balanced expertly on splayed fingers. She puts the plate down on the floor between us and slides off each of the cups. Hers is hot chocolate; this girl is diabetes just waiting to happen. I look down at my own cup and feel something wrench at my shoulders. Panic? Worry? Maybe. No. I start to laugh, and I’m not completely sure why.

“I don’t drink coffee.”

Jenny laughs too and switches the mugs. Her eyes flicker over my face, then race off into the distance. “Swallow. I’m gonna really miss ‘im.”

“Yeah.”

We finish our drinks in comfortable silence. At the end, Jenny Wren gets up. “I’m ti’ed,” she smiles.

“Goodnight,” I say with a little salute.

The rest of the half term is bipolar. Jenny Wren is Jenny Wren. I feel down more often than usual. I feel happy more often than usual. There are wild, excited moments of elation, but equally bleak moments where I know what I need to do, but don’t want to do it.

On Friday I say to Jenny that I need to tell her something.

Kimberly warms to Jenny Wren, she quickly becomes the rescued little victim instead of the evil cult-girl. My Mum doesn’t nag at her to find a new place to live either. I have no idea what’s going to happen to her. I don’t really think about it; a little voice in my head confidently tells me that she’ll either get bored and go back home or—or? Kimberly and Ian look after people for a living. Maybe, I think hopefully, they’ll extend a helping hand to Jen. But, for now, who cares?

I don’t see Swallow again until the holiday ends and I’m sitting in the Special Needs room, waiting for Morgan.

When I first saw him there, I jumped and considered leaving, but then he smiled at me and told me to calm down and sit. He wasn’t going to hurt me, he insisted, and I needed to stop being so bloody jumpy. I remember the last time we were in the same room together. Maybe he even saw me switching over.

He tells me that he’s not one to hold a grudge and that I shouldn’t be either.

Swallow has stolen my pink chair, so I resort to blue. I narrow my eyes at him as he rocks back and forth on it with his hands behind his head and his feet on the table.

“Why are you here?” I hiss.

“I’m your brother, Bunny,” Swallow says brightly. “I want to see what you get up to in your free time, don’t I?”

“Morgan won’t let you stay.”

“She won’t see me.”

“Why not?”

Swallow opens his hands wide and smiles as he hisses, “Magic!”

Magic? Really?

“You’ve never done that before,” I mutter. “Hidden. I didn’t know you could. I certainly can’t.”

“You didn’t know because you never caught me,” Swallow smirks. He grabs a paper bag off the floor and pulls out a huge retro brick of a Gameboy, which he turns on and starts to play. “Spying is so boring,” he mutters over the Tetris theme tune.

Morgan chooses this moment to walk into the room and sit opposite me. She doesn’t even glance at Swallow, who puts his Gameboy on his lap, opens his arms wide, and jazz-hands his way into a big, loud “Wow!” that Morgan completely misses.

I shake my head slightly and concentrate on ignoring him. Morgan will think I’m crazy. Maybe I am. Maybe this is some weird illusion.

“Out of interest, how do you know I’m real?” Swallow asks me.

I don’t reply. I try to hear what Morgan’s saying. I force her words to make sense. She’s being stupid, asking me about my half term and what I did.

“So...tell her what you did,” Swallow hisses.

I glance at him. “I met my real father. That’s about it.”

Morgan is surprised. She asks me about my father. I try to reply while Swallow niggles on in my ear about what might have happened to Darren McKenzie. I’m rubbish at multi-tasking.

“It’s an interesting thought, though,” Swallow says. “That I might not be real. What if I don’t exist? What if everything you’ve seen and heard and felt about me is just your mind playing tricks on you; you seeing what you want to see. Who would have killed Darren McKenzie then, Luca? Who would be the bad guy? Who would have burnt down Liam’s house?” He smiles nastily. “Who would have written that note?”

I glare at him. He’s real; I’ve seen him interacting with other people, for God’s sake.

“It’s funny that I make you doubt yourself, Bunny,” Swallow says slyly. “It’s like you know you’re not quite right. It’s like you’ve thought about this before.”

“Luca,” Morgan’s voice cuts through. “You’re distracted. What’s up?”

I look back at her, frowning. “Nothing. I—”

She’s staring at me, looking worried. I long to shock her. I want to be the one staring. I want to be the observer again.

“I saw you with Lamberry,” I say finally.

“You—” she gapes as me, then looks away. “We split up.”

“Oh.” I can’t think of much more to say than that; she’s a teacher and it’s none of my business. Still, Swallow answers any questions I might have had for her.

“He cheated on her.”

“He’s a bastard anyway,” I say.

Morgan glares at me. “It’s none of your—” but then she breaks off, probably realising that she was the one to encourage this conversation. “He is a bastard,” she says with a small smile.

“Well, you know what number five on my list was. Fight a teacher. Maybe I could do you a favour?”

Morgan laughs, and I’m glad that she has the sense to realise I’m joking. Of course, hurting Lamberry would be amazing, and Swallow could do it without anyone knowing. He taps my shoulder and grins, as if we’re thinking the same thought, then he returns to Tetris with that stupid smile still etched into his pointy cheeks.

“It’s weird, though,” he says. “How things link together. I mean, who would Lamberry cheat on Morgan with?”

“I dunno,” I mutter. “Who?”

Swallow shrugs. “He’s a bastard. I don’t understand bastards; I’m too nice. It’s like a bird trying to understand a fish. It just. Doesn’t. Work. Damn you square!” He jerks the Gameboy violently.

Morgan stares at me as I talk to myself.

“Who did he cheat with?” I try to cover my tracks, but I’m not very good at it.

“Why do you assume he cheated?” she asks me quietly.

“I—” I laugh sheepishly as she continues to stare. “I don’t know. I just... Well that’s why most things end, isn’t it?”

She narrows her eyes. “You...”

There is a very long silence that I don’t understand.

Morgan’s eyes are still slits. Once her mouth starts moving again, it’s like it can’t stop. “Don’t say a thing, Luca. You have no idea how much trouble—Harry could lose his job! And if he goes down, the bastard will take me down too. I haven’t done anything—” she says quickly, holding out her hands. “But he’s not above lying.”

“He could get fired?”

“Of course he could,” she says curtly, then gets up quickly and walks out, looking at me suspiciously over her shoulder. For a second, I think I see her eyes flick angrily to Swallow and wonder whether she can maybe sense something horrible there.

“Well,” says Swallow brightly, turning off his Gameboy and standing up. “That was interesting.”

“Hmm,” I say, sure that my brother knows a whole lot more than he’s letting on, but that he’d never tell me any of it for free.

“I tell you what, though; I’m irritated.”

“Why?”

He narrows his eyes slightly. “You know when someone’s doing something stupid, and you tell them to stop, but they don’t?”

I nod. “Yeah. Why? Who’re you talking about? Me? Jenny Wren?”

He shakes his head. “No.” He smiles suddenly, as if resolving the situation. “Well, I guess shock tactics are always good.”

“Who’re you planning on shocking?”

“You’ll see,” he says lightly. “Well, let’s be off. And, before I go, can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer.”

I nod. “What?”

“Where is my sister?”

I look away. “I dunno. She’s got science with Mr Jackson at nine, though.”

Swallow bows. “Thank you. Now, can I also give you something to think about?”

“Go on,” I say through my teeth.

“There are three options, really, Bunny. About what happened just now. One: I was telling the truth, magic exists, I am amazing. Two: I am a particularly charismatic little figment of your imagination and this here right now is all in your head. Three: I told Morgan to pretend that she couldn’t see or hear me and she kindly agreed.” He puts the Gameboy back into his bag and stares straight into my eyes, smiling psychotically. “Now, as you never once asked Morgan what she was doing ignoring someone like me completely, I take it that you completely discarded option three. Do you have any idea how unusual that is? And how much more interesting that makes you? I think...I think I’m certain about you now!”

“Certain about what?”

“You’re so wonderfully screwed.”

He smiles very nicely as he opens the door and walks out of it. I stare at the Special Needs table until the red becomes black and the smooth shininess fizzes into fiery life.