Thump. Thump. Thump. The blood was pounding through my veins, and all I could hear was its beat. There was a deafening stream of people all around me, and Lola wasn’t far behind me, yelling for me. I knew these things, somehow, but I couldn’t hear them. Just the constant pulse of my weakened human heart, drowning out everything else.

For once I was glad of my slight frame, as it allowed me to slip easily through the crowd, and draw minimal attention to myself. The first people I had pushed past were now long behind me, and in this city, I would never see them again anyway.

I was catching up to him. He was a seasoned traveler of the streets, walking fast in spite of the crowds, but it was slow in comparison to my desperation. A green mass of spikes bobbed ahead of me, closer and closer, and I urged my legs to go faster. Had we been in water, and if I had my tail, I could have caught him in seconds.

What would I say to him when he saw me? Well, not say, obviously, but gesture at the very least. He would halt at the mere sight of my eyes, and we would stand in the middle of the streets, people milling around this strange, lovestruck couple who felt the need to stop in the middle of the sidewalk. It would seem as though the sun shined only for us, because of us. A slow smile would spread across my face, then his, then he would grab my hand without me even having to offer it. We would continue to stare into each other’s eyes until Lola finally found me, but it would take only one look at us for her to understand what had happened.

So, so simple.

It seemed as though I was flying. The pain in my feet had become all but nonexistent, with this new fantasy floating through my mind. Beads of sweat rolled down the back of my neck.

He was so close now. So close all it would take was a reach of my arm, a slight touch of his shoulder…My fingers nearly grazed the fabric of his shirt when I was jerked back suddenly by my other arm, so hard I swear I could feel my own shoulder almost leave its socket.

“Kaira!” Lola shouted in my face. Her hand was wrapped around my wrist like a vice.

I looked at where the man had been a few moments before: gone, without a trace. All it took was a few seconds of stray concentration to lose him. I was panting now, trying to catch my breath. It felt like drowning all over again.

“Look at me, right now!” Lola used her other hand to grip my jaw and turn my head to look at her, and she shook it roughly as she continued yelling. “You cannot run away like that! Do you understand? You will get lost, or in some sort of trouble, or God knows what! Do you understand?” Her face was red, and her whole body shook.

I averted my eyes as I nodded. I felt like a chastened child. She was right, of course, and in any other situation, her points made would make perfect sense. Her points made sense even if I found myself chasing my soul mate, but if it happened again, I knew I would still disregard her in a heartbeat. Still, I nodded obediently.

“I suppose nothing can be gained from asking you why you ran like that,” she said, and I was relieved to note she was no longer screaming, although her voice was left raw and scratchy. “Did you just feel claustrophobic all of sudden? Like you had to get away from all these people or something?”

I shrugged, not really feeling like lying to Lola after I had worried her so badly already. The guilt was overwhelming.

Lola put her hands on my shoulders and took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said, completely calm, “One more chance. Just don’t do anything stupid, or I’m taking you home immediately. Got it?” Satisfied with my silence, she continued, “Let’s go get you some clothes.” She finally released me, and I walked alongside her, masking my cringes as the raw skin of my feet rubbed up against the inside of my shoes. After the running, they felt worse than ever, but I knew that only I was to blame.

…..

Shopping for clothes was easier than I anticipated. Lola knew exactly what she was doing, and she didn’t even make me try anything on. All it took was holding the garment up to my body, a nod of her head, and I would put it in the shopping basket she was having me carry. If she shook her head, that meant for me to put it back on the rack where she had found it. The process was organized and efficient, and Lola had perfected it to a science.

“I love shopping,” she sighed, as we exited the store. There was a contented smile on her face, and each of us was carrying a large bag full of clothes. We had bought several shirts, an equal number of pants, and a few pairs of shoes. There were even outfits that were only for sleeping in, as Lola had told me. “Even if it’s not for me, it’s still fun. I wish Hannah was nice enough to let me shop for her.” She grinned at me, as if to say, Thanks for letting me shop for you. I smiled back, my own gratitude to her overwhelming.

My own father was one of the most progressive monarchs to ever preside over the oceans. We left humans alone, ignoring them even when they invaded our domain. For the most part, we did not bother each other. It was a far cry from the past, where the kings and queens of the merpeople would encourage their subjects to drag wicked, villainous sailors to their deaths at the bottom of the sea. Humans were once considered our mortal enemies, and we reviled them, and perceived them as evil. Although I had never experienced this type of hatred in my lifetime, the remnants of it still clung to our people.

It made me appreciate Lola all the more. She was sweet and generous, and it proved to me that I had not made a stupid decision in deciding to become human, one of the kind that many of my people still saw as enemies.

“Are you ready for lunch? I can show you the sights of the neighborhood on the way.”

I nodded. I could feel my stomach rumbling, and I wondered what new human food I would get to sample next.

As we walked, Lola talked a mile a minute, pointing out this building and that store with the arm that was not carrying her shopping bag. I concentrated hard on what she was saying, doing my best to remember it all in case I was ever on my own, or needed to find something. The handle of my shopping bag chafed against the too-soft skin of my palm, and I knew that my previous life as the daughter of the Sea-King had done next to nothing to prepare me for my new life. Humans themselves seemed to be kind and lovely individuals, but I was beginning to realize their world required a toughness that I would need to acquire over time.

The café we were going to eat lunch at was a small, cramped room, with too many tables and chairs wedged together in one place. The effect would have been smothering, were it not for the two large windows at the front, where one could sit and watch people go about their lives on the vibrant streets. At the back, there was a wide, shiny counter, where Lola hurried to order our meals.

“Sit down somewhere,” she told me. “I’ll be sure to order you something you’ll like.”

I sat at a table closest to one of the windows. A sharp glare from the sun blazed through the pane of glass, but it didn’t bother me much. I squinted through it, observing all of those who walked by. There was one particularly glamorous woman who walked by in a neat business suit, hair pulled back on the top of her head. What I found most fascinating were the shoes she wore: they had high tottering heels that reminded me more of stilts than what could be worn comfortably. A man and woman came soon after her, hand in hand. They walked much less purposefully, and I recognized them as being the elderly sort of humans, given away by their wrinkled faces and matching gray hair. There were many more people in those few minutes, too many to even remember. I watched them, resting my chin in my hand.

A clatter on the tabletop shook me out of my reverie, and I looked up to see Lola setting a tray down between us, while she sat down in a chair across from me.

“I got you a turkey sandwich. They have the best bread here.” She paused, taking a sip of something from a white paper cup. “I figured you wouldn’t want any coffee though, so I got you some apple juice.” She took a clear cup filled with a pale brown liquid off of the tray and put it in front of me, followed by a plate with what I assumed to be the turkey sandwich on it. It reminded me of the toast from last night, although this time there was meat and vegetables stuck between the two squares of bread. I took a bite of it, and the thoughtful expression on my face immediately turned into a smile as I chewed.

“So what did you think of Matt?” Lola asked me, after she had swallowed a bite of her sandwich.

I shrugged and took a sip of juice. Even better than the apple juice. Honestly, I hadn’t met him for long enough to know what I thought of him. I looked up from my food at Lola. She was gazing out the window, chin in her hand, much as I had been minutes ago.

“He and I were engaged, you know,” she said. “Our wedding was going to be this July.” She tilted her head to look at me. “Could you tell it was awkward?”

I gave a small nod. Something had seemed off, I supposed, but then I just assumed it had more to do with my lack of human knowledge and behavior.

“We’ve still tried to be friends. He lives so close, and it’s just so convenient to see him. Habits are hard to break, you know?” She was back to looking out of the window, though not at anything in particular. She wasn’t watching the people go by as I had. There were more pressing issues weighing on her mind.

Why did it end? I was dying to ask her. Under the sea, I had never heard of a relationship ending. Once in love, merpeople remained that way forever. This was a darker side to the human world I had not anticipated.

Lola twirled a finger through a few strands of her hair as she picked up the loose thread of conversation. “I’ve always felt bad for breaking it off with him. I just didn’t feel ready to be committed like that. I treasure my independence too much, I think. But I still haven’t been able to give him up completely, and he always takes advantage of it. He knows me too well.” Her eyes wandered over to me again, where I sat listening and eating patiently. “Sorry. I always get like this after seeing him. All philosophical and whatnot. And I suppose you had to know sooner or later, otherwise it’d just be extremely confusing for you.” She took another bite of her sandwich, and another gulp of coffee. “Thanks for putting up with me though. Christian just hates Matt, which means Hannah isn’t too fond of him either. And the rest of my friends are Matt’s friends, too. But it’s nice to have someone listen who isn’t biased one way or another about the whole situation.” She added quickly, “Not that it’s much of a situation anymore. Like I said, we’ve been over officially for a while.”

The expression on her face was so forlorn, I wanted nothing more than to give her some words of reassurance. I pitied Lola, for having found love and lost it. It was her fault for letting it go….but I was doing my best to ignore that fact. Obviously she was a wonderful person, incapable of something so horrible, so the root of the problem must have been with Matt. That made the most sense.

Unable to comfort her with words, I instead offered her an encouraging half smile, which led her serious demeanor to crack into laughter.

“Don’t look at me like that, Kaira! My life isn’t so tragic, I promise you. You don’t have to look so sad and sympathetic.” She was finally beaming again, and I was glad I had helped, even if my attempt to make her feel better had gone the wrong way. It still accomplished the same thing. “Are you done eating?” Lola asked, taking in my empty plate and cup.

We left our used dishes on the table as we were leaving the café. “They clear the tables for us here,” Lola said, after I started to pick them up. Sheepishly, I put them back down and followed her out.

“I think we’ll just head home from here,” Lola said. She yawned and stretched her arms over her head. “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. A nap sounds really nice right about now. Was there anything else you wanted to see before we go home?”

I shook my head, feeling just as tired as Lola. And even if I wasn’t, her tour of the neighborhood seemed pretty complete to me. Then again, I would’ve never known the difference if something was missing.

“I wish you could’ve gotten to meet Anderson. We went to high school together. He’s a moody bastard sometimes, but he says that’s all part of being an artist.” Seeing my confused look, she continued, “He’s a musician. Does some writing on the side, too, but he gets all offended when I call him a poet. But for the most part he makes his money waiting tables. I can’t believe Matt thought I was sleeping with him,” she said, and chuckled. “Anderson is the one who introduced me to Matt. I mean, Anderson and I have always been close, but never like that. Anyway, Anderson should be done brooding within the next day or two, and then you’ll get to meet him, I suppose. Just try not to fall head over heels for him like most women do. He’s a hopeless romantic, but he’s very picky about who he’s hopelessly romantic with.”

Trust me, you don’t have to worry about that, I thought. Even if it takes a lifetime to find him, my heart belongs to another.

Back at the apartment building, the trek up the seven flights of stairs was arduous. I tried to put as much of my weight as possible on the rusted iron railing, without making it too obvious. The pain in my feet was horrible, still left over from my run through the streets. It would probably take a few days of taking only the most careful steps before the cuts scabbed over again to prevent the bleeding.

When Lola unlocked the door, I darted in even before she did and flopped down onto the nearest chair.

“Tired?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

I nodded. Sitting down had never felt so wonderful, or at least that’s how it felt at the moment. Though I knew I would soon be forced to get up to tend to my feet, for now I could enjoy a few minutes of relaxation.

“Here.” She set down the bag she had been carrying in my lap. Mine lay beside the armchair, half tipped over. “When you feel sufficiently rested, you can load up your new clothes into the dresser drawers in your room. Christian and Hannah are both at work right now, so don’t worry about waking them up or anything.”

My eyelids felt heavy, and I could feel my body willing itself to drift off to sleep. Before it got the chance, I forced myself to stand and stretch, then carry my new things off to my room. The drawers of the dresser were roomy, and everything fit well with room to spare.

To take care of my feet, I sat on the tub as I had earlier that morning. The washcloths I had borrowed were soaked with my blood, as I had anticipated, but at least I hadn’t ruined Lola’s shoes. I let warm water run over my feet to clean and soothe them, though this time I didn’t bother to check and see what they looked like. The sight would likely be too discouraging for me. However, I noticed the free flow of blood had stopped, which luckily meant I could walk around the apartment barefoot as everyone else seemed to, as long as I was careful not to exert myself.

“Kaira!” Lola’s voice was muffled through the bathroom walls. “When you’re done, come on out here! We’ve got a surprise guest.” I heard her continue talking, though I couldn’t make out the words. She was talking now not to me, but to whomever our guest was. I hurriedly dried my feet and went back to the living room, where Lola was standing with a man that I hadn’t yet met.

He wasn’t as tall as Matt was, although he was close. His hair was a darker shade of blond than mine, and it was nearly falling into his eyes. As I noted this, he reached up with one hand to push it up, away from them. His eyes themselves were the most striking I had seen yet on any human, as I could swear they were the exact same color as the ocean. Then he held his hand out to me, and I shook it hesitantly.

“Kaira, this is Anderson,” Lola pronounced. She sounded satisfied.