Devilish Delights- Chapter 1

Leah

Right, I could do this. I mean, I had been waiting in that God-damned queue for a little over an hour, comparing myself to the other occupants of a line.

Not that there was much to compare. They were all nearing six feet tall, looking like they’d just stepped out of some magazine filled with airbrushed beauties. They were all wearing skinny jeans and heels and tank tops that showed off their oh-so-fake attributes.

Me? I had a spot on my chin. Yeah, one of those disgustingly big, red throbbing zits that looks like something from a B-horror movie. It had just popped up this morning with no warning at all and seemed to be getting bigger by the minute! I think it was my body telling me that it didn’t like my plans of giving up my lazy ways and getting a job…or it could just be the whole tub of Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice-cream that I ate in anticipation of this blasted interview.

It was all my Mum’s fault! If she hadn’t been persuaded by her evil best friend to make me get a job so that she didn’t have to give me money, then I wouldn’t be standing here at some ungodly hour trying to come up with various ways of concealing the monstrosity taking over my face.

I checked my watch again: 11.42 am.

Well, that was just fan-spacking-tacular! I should be in bed right now- it was how my body was designed to be and I was not one to revolt unofficial rules. And another thing, I had had to cut my nails for this! Apparently, you can’t work in a bakery with long nails because of all the germs and bacteria and stuff that accumulate there. (By the way, that was all from the Internet; I never use words like accumulate because it sounds like something a biology teacher would say, and I loathe biology teachers!)

Just before I could start mumbling about the hated biology teachers, I heard a tinkling from the doorway of Heavenly Delights, the bakery I was trying to get a job in. A buxom blonde had just exited and when she saw me standing there she smirked. Yes, she looked me up and down, taking in my battered converse, ripped jeans and my ‘Also available in SOBER’ T-shirt, and then she smirked.

And that just made me mad. And when I get mad one of two things will happen: I will either punch the daylights out of the nearest living thing or I will just get an added incentive to go after what I want and prove to everyone that I am invincible.

‘You can go in now. And, err, good luck.’ Geez, what a spack! As if I needed so her so-called ‘luck’…

I stalked past her, never one to be able to come up with witty insults on the spot. I headed into the dining area and assumed that I had to head on into the backroom/kitchen area. I was right.

There was a table with a chair on each side. One of the chairs had already been filled by an old man, the owner of Heavenly Delights. He kinda reminded me of Peter Fonda from that Ghost Rider film, you know, the one where Nicholas Cage is a stunt guy who accidentally sells his soul to the devil and reluctantly becomes his right-hand man.

The owner of the bakery looked up sharply, and on seeing me his eyes lit up with surprise and he grinned.

‘Hello, Miss Block. Please sit down.’ He gestured to the chair opposite him, all the while keeping that slightly creepy grin on his face.

Uh, how did he know my name? My eyebrows were fully arched and my mouth was open in a little ‘o’ of surprise.

‘You are Leah Block, aren’t you? Your mother came in earlier and told me about you, how nervous you are about this interview. She also explained your, err, dress sense to me and explained that it wouldn’t happen again.’

That was it. My mother was dead meat. Just as soon as I found out if I got the job, because if I had I would earn enough money and then contact the mafia and pay them not to leave any traces. I wouldn’t do it, I was too clumsy. I’d probably end up killing myself accidentally!

I slipped into the chair, trying not to make much noise but the legs scraped along the floor making a nails-on-chalkboard sound. The old man across from me didn’t even flinch at the sound, or maybe deafness due to old age gave him the advantage over my own very sensitive eardrums.

‘Yeah, I’m Leah Block.’ Wow, I sounded so enthusiastic I’m surprised he didn’t offer me the job right then and there! Yes, today seemed to be one of those days I ate a bowl of sarcastic for breakfast.

‘Hello, Leah. It’s very nice to meet you, I’m Gabriel Brunswick, but let’s just skip the formalities for the moment, shall we?’

‘Uh, okay…’ Geez, this man was weird.

‘And I don’t think I’ll waste anymore time asking meaningless questions.’

‘Erm, but isn’t that the point of interviews? Asking meaningless questions, I mean.’ Maybe I should have thought to take the meaningless part out…

It didn’t seem as though Gabriel Brunswick minded my insolence, though. He had thrown his head back and laughed. And laughed. And laughed. I repressed the urge to check my watch.

He composed himself at last and expanded on his previous statement, managing to confuse me even further. ‘Yes, that is usually what happens at interviews. But interviews are usually conducted when and employer is seeking a new suitable employee.’ He cocked his head and waited for my response. I don’t know whether he could hear the cogs turning in my head, but I think he might be able to. They were a little rusty after all and the noise they make definitely can’t be described as subtle.

‘Erm and this isn’t one of those interviews?’

‘What’s the point of this interview being one of those interviews when the employer is not seeking a new employee?’

I was severely confuzzled now. Was I possibly on one of those American shows where I was being played a trick on for TV? That one with Ashton Kutcher…oh, what was it called?! Argh, I give up on remembering things…

‘Sooo, you’re not an employer looking for an employee?’

From the look on his face he might as well have got up and shouted, ‘Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!’

‘No, I’m not an employer looking for an employee. This isn’t even a real bakery. And what’s further, I’m not really an old man.’

I think he must have been smoking some really heavy stuff, because when I blinked and pinched my arm he still had wrinkles and white hair, and the window still had the inscription The Heavenly Delights Bakery. I turned this way and that in my seat looking for cameras.

‘No, I’m not an old man, not in the sense that you think, and I am looking for someone, just not an employee.’

‘Well, err, who are you looking for? ‘Cause I know just about everyone around here and I could probably point you in the right direction.’

He smiled again and leaned across the table towards me. At least he didn’t have stinky breath. ‘I’ve already found you, though, why would I want anyone else?’

Okay, my freaked out levels had just jumped from ‘slightly suspicious’ to ‘must run before I am raped’. I jumped out of my chair, scratching my head and checking my watch as I did so. ‘Geez, is that the time? It’s nice to have met you, but I promised my Mum that I would clean my room. Must go, toodles!’

But before I could cross the threshold, the door connecting the dining area and the kitchen area had slammed shut. I turned around slowly to see Mr. Brunswick walking towards me, no longer the old man I had seen but a few moments ago, but a tall, lean, thirty-something with chin-length chocolate-brown hair and a penetrating gaze. Maybe I was the one who’d smoked something!

‘I’m sorry, Miss Block, but I can’t let you go just yet. Let me explain.’ He paused while he crowded me even further into the corner and then leaned down to look me right in the eyes. ‘I am the Devil, and I’m taking you to Hell with me.’

Can anybody say…whah?

AN: Yaysikins! And here is the first offcial chapter! If any are confused as to what this story is actually about then that should be explained in the next chapter...but some already know by now...well, they think they know...

Anyway! I'm on study leave at the moment so I have quite a bit of time on my hands. this is just a warning that the following chapters might not follow each other as closely as these two have...but i shall try! WOOT!

Oh, and as for some of the vocabulary (like spack) is slightly weird, yes, but i love the word spack. i don't even know what it means! My sister came home from uni and started calling me a spack...strange, huh? And as for whah (just in case you were confused) its like what without the t and with an h...basically it's confused retard speech that I use.

Anyvaaay, I need cookies, so peace out!

Candyflossvictim