I don't believe I ask for much
Just to be left alone when I'm angry
Your words and stupid annoyances make it hard
I can't hold her back

When I'm so angry
I feel her trying to break free
Your words
Your comments
I don't need them

I ask you as nice as I can manage
To shut it
To drop it
To zip it
To be quiet
To leave me alone
To just shut up

I don't mean to sound rude
It just comes out that way
I can't help it
But you help her
Pull her along
Push me towards the edge

I loose myself more and more with each comment
And finally I loose all sense of control
And she's let loose
She fights and argues
And hurts people I love

I fight for control
And finally break free
But its far too late
The damage is done
You brought her out
You helped her along
But she's not the one you're mad at
You're mad at me

I feel the tears
I want to apologize
But its not fair
It wasn't my fault
Why did you help her?
Why did you push us towards the edge?
Why couldn't you just shut up?

Now we're mad
And we're both hurt
There's a mess to clean up
There always is
Somethings probably broken
That's usually how it works

I just don't understand
Why can't you keep the comments to yourself?
Why can't you just be quiet?
Why can't you shut up when I ask?
Am I asking too much?

I clean up the mess
And try to fix what was broken
But its far too late
The damage has been done
And it can not be taken back
We're mad
You're mad
And you're blaming it on me

Words were exchanged
Feelings were felt
Things happened

We can't take it back
More things to reget
I feel the pain

I feel Jun coming in
She's breaking through
Her throughts
The little itchings for the pain
To feel alive again
To know I'm still here
And not down there

I don't like it here
I try to be strong
But its so hard

I used to be strong
I didn't have to try
It was easier then
When it came as second nature
But it doesn't now
I have to try
And pretend
But it doesn't always work
I wish you understood but you don't

You say you do
But you don't
You may try too
But you can't
You may want too
But you're unable
You can't understand
It's not that easy
No matter how you try
It's not that easy

Its stupid really
How things always turn out bad like this
Sometimes I consider living with dad
Him I could call the cops for child abuse
If he got halled off to jail I wouldn't care

If you went to jail
Or got in trouble
It wouldn't be the same
I care
About you
Not him
So it's not the same

I want sometimes
To be with him
Just getting away
From all the real life drama here
Might be good for a while
I'll be honest here
I don't think I can take much more
Its happening more and more
And my mind just can't any more
I'm not stable enough anymore

I am sorry you know
For everything
But I can't take it back
I'm not strong enough for this anymore

The fights
The drama
The pain
The lies
The everything

I shouldn't have to worry about this
Or have to deal with all this
I'm just a kid
I should be worrying about my first car
My first job

Not the house
Not the car insurance
Not dad
Not the bills
Not the family problems
Not all the BS

It's not my fault
It's not my problem
It's not up to me to fix everything

All this stress
All these worries
Make it hard to hold them back
And when I get angry
My ability to hold her back
It just seems to fade away
With you comments
And stupid unimportant words
You just help her push me out of the way

I'm sorry
But its not my fault
I just wish you understood
I just wish you would listen
To my commands
To my warnings
But you don't
Then make me out
To be the bad guy I'm not

It's not my fault...