If I told on too tight, you might let go
But you always make sure to keep me close
As much as I try to hide it
My fear holds greater than my love
Holding you makes my brittle heart so vulnerable
You could break it without me noticing
And I wouldn’t notice until the wounds bleed warm
Just like before…
So much I long to be number one in your books
That I try to out-compete your former flames
I just can’t compete anymore
Are her charms more alluring than my rocky nature?
Does she have charisma that outshines my clumsy quirks?
Or has she the face of a goddess to my bland visage?
It hurts me just trying to compare
And somewhere deep inside this stumbling, accident-prone girl
Lies a glimmer of hope, a little spark
Wishing that you will be the end of my misery
And treat me like a person who has chances
And charms, charisma, whatever you looked for
When you turned around one day and saw me standing there
Little old, stubborn me
The strange girl
Who trips over her own feet and gets her ripped stockings caught on subways
Who sits in piles of chewed gum
And always falls up the stairs.
Maybe, just this once, I could be more than a bloody rebound girl
And not just a replacement for an empty slot
Because I can’t bear feeling like a substitute anymore
I want to feel your embraces and kisses like they were real, and for me
Have the things you once gave her
How does love feel like without an aching fear of losing you?
The fear that tomorrow, I’ll simply be removed and forgotten
Just like before…
So please, come close.
I can stop myself from falling in love today
But tomorrow, I can’t guarantee.