I'm Alive

Her arms were extended, searching for him, any part of him.

My hands are searching for you

Try as she might, she couldn't find him. She couldn't touch him.

My arms are outstretched towards you

But he was there. She could feel it. Just beyond her reach.

I feel you on my fingertips

He would always be. Just beyond her reach.

My tongue dances behind my lips for you

But she could feel him, his energy. She felt it in her fingers, her searching fingers. It spread to her arms and then her chest, where her heart lay aching.

This fire rising through my being

It spread throughout her body, until she was tingling. It was painful. And she thought of his smile.

Burning, I'm not used to seeing you

She raised the blade to her arm.

I'm alive

Thick red seeped from her. She was alive. For now.

I'm alive

She put it back down and leaned back, closing her eyes and taking him in.

I can feel you all around me

She took deep breaths. She could almost inhale him.

Thickening the air I'm breathing

This moment. She wanted it to last forever. But she knew it couldn't. So she held on with all she had. To him.

Holding on to what I'm feeling

It will all be over soon, she told herself.

Savoring this hurt that's healing

She lifted her arms and watched as a red river flowed towards her.

My hands float up above me

She could hear his laugh in her ear. Then he whispered he loved her.

And you whisper you love me

She picked it up again and left the house. It was raining.

And I begin to fade

She made it to the creek behind their house and went deeper into it than anyone else dared to go. She sat under their tree canopy. Their secret place.

Into our secret place

And she heard angels. It was beautiful.

The music makes me sway

It was their song.

The angels singing say

It was just them. And the angels.

We are alone with you

But she couldn't see him. Or the angels.

I am alone and they all choose you

It was still in her hand.

I'm alive

A fresh river flowed over the dry one, covering a rusty red with a bright one.

I'm alive

Once more, she closed her eyes and leaned back, savoring him.

I can feel you all around me

In deep breaths, she felt him.

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Again, she had to make it last. She had to hold on.

Holding on to what I'm feeling

It will all be over soon.

Savoring this hurt that's healing

She made another. Unnoticed tears fell on them.

And so I cry

She made another. And another. The green around her became soaked in red.

The light is white

She could see him. Him.

And I see you

He stepped toward her. She stood.

I'm alive

Her heart was beating faster, harder, livelier than it ever had before.

I'm alive

She stepped towards him.

I'm alive

She held out her hand.

Take my hand

He took it in his own.

I give it to you

She shivered. She was his. Now and forever.

Now you own me, all I am

He had told her her would never leave.

You said you would never leave me

He had.

I believe you

But he never would again.

I believe

They embraced. And all she could feel, all she could see, all she could hear and taste and smell was him.

I can feel you all around me

She was breathing deeper than she ever had before.

Thickening the air I'm breathing

This moment. She knew it would last.

Holding on to what I'm feeling

It's over.

Savoring this hurt that's healed