Sexcapades of the Newly Married

By Ettare

For Melissa

2.

“Please…please let’s just stop and take a rest,” I whined and stumbled over an upturned tree root. I was a total klutz, and here I was traipsing through the woods with an overly heavy backpack strapped to my back instead of lying on a beach somewhere.

Blake only paused momentarily in his stride to sigh and shake his head before resuming to climb over a large rock.

“I can’t believe I married you,” I muttered under my breath and glared at his back.

“I can hear you, you know.”

I inhaled and counted to ten before exhaling. “It’s getting dark,” I stated and peered to the west where the sun’s last rays were filtering out of the trees. The last thing I wanted was to be caught on the side of some rocky hill when the forest turned pitch black.

“We can make camp for the night as soon as we come across a clearing.”

Right. A clearing. We’d already passed forty freaking clearings. I was tired, cranky, and we’d been walking for over two hours. This was not how I envisioned my honeymoon.

After walking another good ten minutes, Blake deemed a small scrap of semi-flat land good enough for sleeping on. I unrolled my sleeping bag and plopped down on it, watching Blake gather up some kindling and fallen logs to make a campfire.

He exhaled noisily when he was finished and moved to sit beside me. “Are you mad at me?”

“Whatever gave you that impression”? I asked dryly. Honestly, men were truly slow creatures sometimes.

“Well,” he really did sound kind of remorseful, “I’m sorry for whatever I did.” I huffed, irritated with myself because I couldn’t stay angry with him. I was weak.

“I just didn’t imagine our honeymoon this way.” I tried to explain. No girl that I’d ever heard of planned on spending her wedding night camped out in the woods.

“But you said I could pick!” He sounded so much like a little kid that I let slip a giggle.

“Now you’re laughing at me!” Blake pouted and slumped back against the tree behind him.

“Awe, come on,” I laughed and crawled onto my knees to sit facing his side, “don’t be such a baby.” When he didn’t react, I leaned in close so that my face was only inches away from his cheek and hardcore stared.

Blake only lasted about fifteen seconds before his face split into a grin. “Stop it,” He chuckled and pushed my face away.

I snickered and rested against his side, “you love me.” We sat like that for a few minutes, Blake’s hand tracing patterns over my skin. It wasn’t long before he turned to me, an impish look flushed on his face.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” His eyes were wide with mischief and I groaned internally.

“You want to do it here?” He wanted to have sex in the woods? What were we: animals?

“Come on, Lizzie, it’ll be fun,” he said, gripping my shoulders lightly and pulling me to his chest. “And it’s our wedding night. We’re supposed to have sex.” Somehow, before I could even think about stopping him, Blake had me on my back and was straddling my hips. His hands were already moving over my body.

“Fine,” I rolled my eyes and tried to keep the smile off my face, “but I get to be on top.” Using all my body weight, I managed to roll Blake over. Triumph!

“Hey, that’s not fair!”

“Life’s not fair,” I grinned victoriously and tugged his shirt over his head.

Blake had already unbuttoned my blouse and unclasped my bra when something made us freeze. There was a crackling sound in one of the bushes.

Life couldn’t get any better. We were both half nude and about to get it on, and some perverted, axe murderer was probably going to jump out of the bushes at any moment.

What stepped out of the bushes, however, was not a perverted, axe murderer. A large, brown bear stood on all fours, looking almost as startled as I felt for having run into something unexpected.

“Great idea, Blake. Let’s go camping for our honeymoon!” I mocked shrilly from where I was still sitting on top of him.

“This isn’t the time, Elizabeth,” he murmured quietly and slowly moved a hand over towards where his backpack was laying. “I need to get the fog horn.”

I shifted my weight around so it’d be easier for him to reach and watched at the bear. It hadn’t made any sudden movements yet, but I was still weary.

After a few more seconds of shifting through his bag, Blake made a relieved noise in the back of his throat and held the horn up. “Cover your ears,” he mouthed and pressed down on the release button.

Immediately, the bear scrambled away from our campsite.

“What the hell was that?” I demanded furiously and socked Blake in the arm.

“A bear,” Blake shrugged his shoulders from his position beneath me. I almost smacked him again for his smartass remark.

Grinding my teeth, I snapped, “I know it was a bear. But you had a fog horn and that means you knew there were bears out here.”

“Lizzie,” he put on the most pathetic face I’d ever seen him wear, “don’t be mad. Please?”

I huffed and leaned down to rest my forehead against his. “You so owe me for putting up with this.”

Blake just smirked. “I think I know a way I can repay the debt.”

Author's Note: I actually researched how to scare off bears for this which was interesting. Polar bears are supposedly more likely to attack a woman that's menstruating. Go figure.

I still have at least one more idea if anyone's interested in a part three. Yes, I realize that I'm not following the storyline of the same characters, but I thought it'd be more interesting this way. Anyway, let me know what you guys think. Thanks so much to everyone that reviewed. A friend of mine recently destroyed any self esteem I had about writing so they were really appreciated.