A/N: My First Friend (song by Hyadain) Dr.マリオのメロで、「はじ めてのともだち」

This short story is based quite closely to the lyrics.

When I was a child, all alone, whether seated or whether I stood, the world revolved in a blur. People passed, things happened, but I was always alone, left to observe as if I was in no way a part of it. Nothing was a part of me as well. I had no connection.

Then you appeared, jolting me awake from that dream. The moment my small hand touched your silken fur fresh from birth, I realized you were real. Your large, sincere, lucid eyes stared back at me, noticed me like no one ever would and you stuck out a little pink tongue to wet my nose with a kiss. You became my first friend. One who never judged, never neglected and never forgotten me- one who was the first to see me for who I am.

We were inseparable back then. You used to watch me eat while I did the same when you wolfed down the food I poured into your bowl. That little garden was our haven, a place where I laughed while you barked as we raced around on the small stone pavement. We did the silliest things together, like how you tried to chase your tail while I tried to catch my imaginary one. My happiest moments were with you, and during my saddest, you were always there for me- silent, understanding, watching and listening with such genuine concern that I could never comprehend how you could. Whenever I needed a shelter, you came. At times when I needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to hug, you never fussed when I gripped your fur too hard or when your shoulder was drenched with my tears and snot. There was not a time when you rejected me. You were real. And because you were always by my side, because we were always together, I wasn’t lonely anymore.

I was happy- you made me understand what happiness was. It didn’t matter if the sun was smiling down, or if there was a heavy storm. As long as we were together, no words could wound me deeply; no beatings could break me completely, because you would be there to piece me back, shards and all. Everything always turned out alright in the end.

Sometimes, we would simply sit in the garden all day, watching the sun set and the clouds drift by. There was no need for me to speak, or the need for you to know how. You always knew what I needed. The silence we often shared went deeper than words.

There was once when I tried to teach you tricks just so I could impress people. You were not one keen to learn, and you even had the audacity to steal the treats I prepared for coaxing you. I always ended up enraged with you simply because you wouldn’t rollover- the first and last trick I tried to teach you. But you weren’t angered with my harsh treatment, instead, you stayed the same. I relented in the end because I realized those people didn’t matter. You were the one who truly mattered to me.

Whether it was late at night or early in the morning, rain or shine, you never failed to greet me when I came home. We would engage in a silly dance of you leaping and running in circles while I tried to ruffle your head. Even if you came running from the garden with muddied feet and dirt matted fur into the house, my annoyance was always short-lived when you looked up at me with that wide mirthful grin, lolling tongue and bright eyes that shone to say welcome home.

Before I knew it, I stared to take you for granted, immersing myself with my own life, and my own human friends. You were like a quiet wraith, always trailing behind while I was too busy to notice. But even after all the wrongs I committed towards you, you stayed the same. You stayed by my side.

I can never express how much you mean to me with just words, but you are very dear, and precious to me.

As time passed, age gnawed on your health and drained away your strength. Your long, effortless strides turned to slow walks and shuffles, resounding barks became soft and your wide grin was reduced to a weary smile.

There came a time when you weren’t able to walk anymore. I picked you up gently and said, “It’ll be alright.” Though it was almost impossible, an easy, comforting smile drew my lips. I knew I had to do it just for you. “This time, I will take care of you.”

I piled blankets after blankets onto the warmed wooden floor of your little shed and laid you onto the soft fabric, wrapping you carefully under the layers so you wouldn’t feel the cold. Your eyes that followed my every movement were the same, only, they appeared concerned, almost sad. I sat there with you, one hand caressing your exhausted form and whispered a soothing chant, “It’ll be alright. I’ll stay with you.”

As your breath roughened, your watchful eyes dimmed and fluttered to a close, as if falling asleep. Beat by beat, I could feel your heart under my hand.

Thank you…

And goodbye…

My first friend.

A/N: I don't know if this evokes any emotion to those who have read this, since this is style I 've never written in, but the song certainly revived something in me that shouldn't have laid dormant in the first place. Thank you Dennis, for showing me this song.

The real story is of me and my own dog, coincidentally, my first friend. He passed away 2 and a half years ago. I wasn't there for him when his effortless strides turned to shuffles, resounding barks became soft and when his wide grin reduced to a weary smile. Needless to say, the rest after that never happened. I wasn't there when I should have been there, and I didn't get to say farewell when I should have. Because I was far far away in another country. But I didn't even cry when I received the news, the calm lake in my heart was still as the surface of a mirror. I didn't feel anything.

Maybe it was a shock, or maybe I really didn't, given my previous condition. But I woke up and remembered him when I listened to the cheerful tune of a sad tale. I wrote this as a tribute to him, my first friend- Herri. I wish I could make the end of this story reality... I want badly to say thank you, and goodbye to him. Feeling something is better than feeling nothing. I was in such an emotional wreck when I wrote this, I deserved it anyway...

To those who cherish their friends, stay with them until the end.