Heaven Help Us

Heaven Help Us

The icy cold waves crashed against the sand harshly, ripping up any habitat that might have been there. The wind whipped my hair around my face, making it unbearably hard to see. The dark sky seeped down all around me. Utter silence. . .

Hear the sound
The angels come screaming
Down, your voice
I hear you've been bleeding
Make your choice
They say you've been pleading
Someone save us

There was a bright light over the ocean, followed by a deafening bang. I refused to feel the bitter-cold rain falling on me, soaking my clothes, and somehow infiltrating my skin, and freezing my bones. My stormy blue eyes stared out at the stormy blue water. So close, yet too far. . .

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you're falling down

I stared up at the large wave rolling into the beach. If I were a little closer, I would’ve been in the perfect position to disappear. The wave would’ve swallowed me whole like a snake that had found its new meal. The water would’ve filled my lungs, constricting me. I would’ve drowned. . .

I'm at this old hotel
But can't tell if I've been breathing or sleeping
Or screaming or waiting for the man to call
And maybe all of the above
Cause mostly I've been sprawled on these cathedral steps
While spitting out the blood and screaming
Someone save us

The hotel where my family is sleeping peacefully stands behind me, like a lonely man, staring out at the dangerous sea. I’ve been standing in this storm for over an hour. I can’t make up my mind. What would happen if I just, disappeared? Who would miss me? I know who wouldn’t. . .

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you're falling down

My loving sister… would she even notice if there was no one to complain to? She has a boyfriend now. He can take my place. My parents… they’re never around to care, though they say the do. The one person I truly care about in my short life… she might. She might be the only person who would be remotely sad if I were to go. . .

And will you pray for me?
Or make me say don't leave?
And will you lay for me?
Or make a saint of me?

She might have been the only one who ever said “I love you” and meant it. Would I hurt her by leaving? Probably... I promised her I wouldn’t disappear. She cares about me. She’s the only one that does. Her and her friend. . .

Cause I'll give you all the nails you need
Cover me in gasoline
Wipe away those tears of blood again
And the punchline to the joke is asking
Someone save us

Two people out of the many I know care about me. The one I love and her friend… I’ll miss her friend. She was fun and hyper, like I used to be. We loved the same things. She was the epitome of happy. She cared when I was crying. She cared when I was screwing up. She was there when I couldn’t take it anymore. She was willing to spend her time talking to me, instead of watching a TV show she loves. She actually cares. . .

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you fall

I look up into the sky, watching as the wind catches the strands of my blonde hair, pushing it into my eyes. The rain washes away my tears that fall, and the thunder smothers my quiet sobs. Would anyone miss one lonely girl? Would anyone care if one more girl took her life because she can’t stand it anymore? The storm suffocates me, making it hard to breathe or do much but stand there. Somehow, even with the raging storm around me, I’m able to take a step forward, directly into the path of an oncoming wave. I hear a faint scream and someone calls my name. . .

And would you pray for me?
(You don't know a thing about my sins)
(How the misery begins)
Or make us say don't leave?
(You don't know)
(So I'm burning, I'm burning)
And will you lay for me?
(You don't know a thing about my sins)
(How the misery begins)
Or make a saint of me?
(You don't know)
(Cause I'm burning, I'm burning)

I turn my head and see the only two people who ever cared… staring wide-eyed in horror as the storm swallows me whole. They’re running over to where I once was, but they’re too late. I smile sadly from my watery depths, and manage to say three words before I’m carried off into darkness, forever replaying their horror as they watch their friend die. . .

“I’m So Sorry.”

Cause I'll give you all the nails you need
(I'm burning, I'm burning again)
Cover me in gasoline again