Walk of School

Students waited on fervent breath, their bodies straining, hands and fingers itching for their bags and books. I sat still, my head braced against my arms, folded on the desk. I was in no hurry. My books and papers stuffed carelessly in my desk, my only hope the teacher would choose today as a cleaning day and with it a few more moments of peace. I looked to my teacher. Her dark eyes appraised us, hands clenched in a thoughtful grip. No luck or understanding shown through her eyes and mouth, I was on my own again it seemed this day. I tucked my chin further into my arms, my eyes starting to well with tears. I could feel the tremors in my legs start to act up, forcing my knees to hit the underside of my desk.

The shrill bell echoed through the halls, my heart sank with its scream. The teacher stood, hands griping her substantial hips. She let out a short whistle to gather attention towards her.

“Who, exactly, dismisses you dears?” Mummers of apology and some frustration filled the room. I crossed my fingers vainly, hoping. She glanced around her classroom, eyes narrowed. “You are dismissed.” I suppressed the urge to throw up. My stomach clenched with effort as I slowly started to gather my things. My class mates began to file out of the room. Once my books were securely placed, I looked up at the teacher. She frowned at me, hand tapping her wrist watch. My mouth felt dry as I hoisted the bag onto my back.

“Have a nice day, dear.” I nodded my head slowly, knowing that I couldn’t speak now and it wouldn’t help me to. The heat of the day washed over me making my clothes stick to my thighs and stomach. I pulled against the fabric, head down, as I hurried across the school field. I could feel the stares watch my overgrown breasts and stomach jiggle so I slowed my pace, vainly trying to contain my movements. My jiggle was now contained to a slight movement but the stares continued. No one dared say anything so close to the teachers but they would soon. I wouldn’t be safe soon.

“Little bit early today aren’t you?” the elderly crossing guard asked me as she eyed the narrow street, watching for the lurking cars about to appear from behind school buildings and houses. I said nothing, hands still trying to stretch my shirt, eyes on my nikes. “Not in the talking mood then?” Again I said nothing only waited. I knew, from past useless experience, that if I were to talk I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. Word vomit, I called it.

“Go on ahead then, scurry home.” I bobbed my head, only allowing that acknowledgment. “You’re going the wrong way. You live down the second street!” She called out to me in motherly concern. I knew I was going to the wrong way, the long way home. If I tried this route maybe they were on the other one today, I could only hope.

A few blocks down and no sign of any other student, I felt elevated. Today I could go home without having to explain my appearance, without the embarrassment. Having little experience with walking without thought I stared into the sky, mind drifting off. I never knew that the sky could take on so many shapes and styles, that the mountains could look like that, like the painting my mother has on display on the walls of our home. I stomped my feet, just to hear the sound and did a small spring, not caring to hold my breasts nor my stomach down. Usually if they hadn’t shown up by now I was safe, I was past their houses and now very close to my own.

I turned the corner, leading away from the houses and through a kiddy park, bag now slipping off my shoulders, the straps used to my tense hold.

“Oh no! Earthquake! Hold on to you children!” The voice rang through the air, seemingly knocking the breath out of me and forcing my attention on it. It surrounded me, it captured me, and it tore me to pieces.

“Earthquake! Earthquake! Earthquake!” The high pitch squeals of laughter pierced me. I slammed my hands against my ears and my feet picked up their pace. I knew what I looked like, I knew that showing this weakness would make it worse but I couldn’t handle it today. It was Friday, all week I’d dealt with it and the weeks before that too. I had thought today would be different.

“No it’s not an earthquake, it’s only the whale! The Pig!” Their laughter turned louder, I couldn’t tune it out on my own. I started to sing.

They walked closer to me now. My eyes tightly closed as I picture the road in front of me and sang louder. Their laughter penetrated my song and I stumbled against the words. A hand reached out to pull against my bag. It spilled between us and I fell backwards with the force of it. I stared unseeing towards the sky for a moment nonplussed. The song had stopped and now the girls now surrounded me, faces bright with mirth. My body was paralyzed, I watched as a plane jetted across the sky leaving its trail of white clouds against the bright blue sky. The first kick felt like nothing but their voices came back into focus with the pain.

“Don’t you know you’re going to crack the sidewalk? Don’t you have any manners at all, you whale?”

“She’s so fat she shows up on radar!” The squeals scraped across my mind but I still couldn’t move. I thought it might be better to ignore it. That was what everyone told me. Ignore it and take because in ten years I would be the smart, successful one and they would wind up pregnant and alone at fifteen. I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch the bright blue any longer.

“The whale! Whale! Whale! Moby dick! Whale!” One chanted to the left of me, her foot connected solidly against my side.

“Fatso, your mom doesn’t even like you! Stupid fatty!” Another said while a swift kick hit my shin. My eyes opened with a new determination. I was sick and tiered of this, or listening to everyone tell me to ignore it and it would go away. I felt the rage in my body build, pressing against my forehead and chest with such force that I was breathless at first. I pulled myself up, a little wobbly, hands fisted against my sides.

“Leave me alone.” Never before had I tired to calmly speak with them, I knew it wouldn’t work but I had to try. My mother’s voice rang in my ears.

“Don’t you start a fight, use your words.” I wanted to follow her advice but so far no one’s advice had worked for me.

“Oooh fatty wants us to stop?” They shared their hyena laughs, eyes glittering with the fight. I said nothing, I waited.

“Why don’t you catch us fatty?” One called out as she darted away, blond hair flowing behind her, feet moving quickly over the pavement. I didn’t move and the others stayed within reach too. The girl moved closer this time to touch my forehead then darted back again, the others smiled widely and raised their arms in glee. I did not move but waited, a plan forming in my mind.

“Can’t you catch me?” She said as she once again darted closer to me, hand reaching out towards my forehead. I snapped my wrist up and snatched her arm. She shrieked in righteous anger.

“You can’t touch me fatty.” I pulled my other arm back; thumb not tucked underneath my knuckles and released the full brunt of my anger. Her head snapped back with the force of it and the other girls howled with rage. They came after me, at all sides and I started to throw my punches without thought wildly trying to attach everyone and anyone in my path. I was outnumbered but could feel myself winning. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t feel, tears blinded my vision but I kept swinging and hitting anyone in my path.

A pair of strong hands wrapped around my wrists and an angry voice spoke in my ear.

“You are in a lot of trouble, young lady.” I was shocked out of my rage and stared around me with wonder. Had I done that? Blood covered my hands, both my own and from the mouths and noses of the girls surrounding me. One had run off, but the others stared at me now with the justified anger. I looked up into the shadowed eyes of the police officer.

“What are you doing?” He asked me, voice rough and scratchy against my ears. I swung my head back and forth, unable to speak.

“She just went crazy and started to beat on us!” One said.

“We tried to stop her. We didn’t want to hurt her but we didn’t know what to do.” The only two left said, both voices dripped with sweetness and sugar. I held back a chocking laugh. The one time a person of authority has to show up and it’s when I do this.

“You did well girls, why don’t you go over to the bench, I need to talk with you later.” They trudged off, weary eyes watching the officer.

“What happened?” he asked me, voice tinged with only slight concern.

“Nothing.” I was able to spit out, knowing that no one would believe me. I was the fat, ugly, dumb one, they were the perfect girls. The Popular ones.

“You can tell me.” His voice was imploring me but I couldn’t. I stared at him, my mouth slightly open, hands pulling almost frantically against the fabric of my shirt.

“Nothing.” He sighed, a knuckle brushed against his mouth. “Nothing.” I repeated, eyes lowered. “Nothing happened.”

The End.

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A/N: Thank you to anyone who does read this. I think I fixed some of the mistakes.