that’s how it is, sometimes

the sky has just darkened –
there are mosquitoes,
stars
and i’m sitting on a bench at
a baseball diamond
looking at the sky light up
with fireworks.

sometimes
my skin feels too tight

the girl inside tries
to force herself out
because i can
still remember secret smiles,
the way (s)he looked
into my eyes.
at the same time
i want to forget the sound
of the front door
slamming shut,
my mother on the
other side
when i opened it,
to tell her some form of the truth.

she told me that
tears wouldn’t solve
anything.

late night cups of hot chocolate
don’t help me sleep any
easier either.

i’d like to think it wasn’t my fault.

a/n: i'd like it if you would stop texting me too.