Kiss
Prologue

If you wholeheartedly believe in the lie called love, you really shouldn't be reading this. I, a pessimist that cannot be moved, despise love and do not believe it no matter what. I realize that in a way my views are cowardly and looked down upon, but I see no reason to care nor fully acknowledge anyone else's opinion on love. I sometimes think perhaps there is love, but there is no way of knowing for sure. So I choose the "loser's" path and choose not to believe.

Do you believe?

I suppose it doesn't really matter, though, as you are a reader, just here to hear my story. Then perhaps you'd like to know who I am.

I am a girl. I am in high school. And I am your typical scemo kid with hair in front of my face and eyeliner drawn thick on my eyes. But appearances seldom truly matter. No matter how stupidly I speak, or how many mistakes I make, my appearance will not have determined that. Or maybe it would have. I think I think too much.

Sometimes I think that maybe my past has destroyed my perception of love, but in thinking so, I'd be admitting to myself that it is partly my fault why I am the way I am. But it's easier, in my opinion, to blame others or better yet, something we cannot explain. I choose to blame life and love, or lack thereof.

My friends think I'm crazy. All I wonder is why they believe so strongly that I am. I feel as if I am betrayed by them, every time that they tell me to shut up when I start ranting about anything. Maybe they're just too stupid to understand my words. Nevertheless; it hurts.

I like to think that I am intelligent. I like to tell myself that I am. I think and think and come to the conclusion that I am in fact, intelligent. How did I come upon this thought you ask? Well here is a conversation I had with a friend of mine:

"You know what's stupid?" (this is my friend)
"What?" (me)
"Hot dogs. And hot dog buns."
"... Uhh... Yeah."
"I know! Like, fuck, dude, it's so stupid! I want to eat a fucking blah blah blah blah blah blah!! Blah blah blah!"

All the while I'm thinking about how stupid he sounds.

I'm sure we all feel this way. But I like feeling special, even if I'm not. Out of everyone I know, the only thing I'm truly unique about is my view on love.

This is merely a prologue to my experiences. I hope you hang on and read on.