Despair

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing a story or a chapter in second person. There’s a 30 chance it’ll be good and a 70 chance it won’t. I’m taking a risk: D. I was intrigued to see if this style of writing was worth doing. I’ve had a big story which was in second person brewing in me head but I knew if I didn’t pull it off it was a waste of time. So yeah, this is a ‘pilot’ as it were to see if it’s any good. I’ll say it’s complete, but if it’s worth continuing then I might consider carrying on. But yeah, hope you’re ready. :D

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Its dark, isn’t it?

That torch lighting the distance seems ever-so far away in the pitch black. You take a step forward, your feet sinking into mud and you quickly withdraw. It wasn’t what you thought it would be was it? A simple dare they said. ‘I dare you to walk into that cave and grab that torch and make you way back.’ It sounded easy didn’t it? But there was always something about that cave that almost shoved you back, telling you that if you went remotely close, there would be no return. Pshhh, yeah right.

Now here you are, halfway in, already complaining. ‘Get a grip, it’s only a cave.’ That’s what the guys said. You laughed, but deep inside you trembled. You needed to ‘impress’ your friends didn’t you? Tell them, ‘piece of cake, I can do this in a minute.’ How wrong you were. You check your watch. 10 minutes have passed by. So much for a minute.

You only just grasp the stench. It grows thicker with each step you take. It smells like onions, rotting onions. You try covering your nose with your sleeve but you soon realize that it’s wet. The walls of the cavern are sticky and with closer inspection it seems as if it’s moving. Swallowing. You ignore it, focusing on the torch. You ask yourself: Why go to all this trouble for a torch? I don’t know, should have asked you friends that. Maybe you wanted to show how strong and fearless you are, but for all you know they’ve left laughing, knowing you still down there taking the bait, or rather, are YOU the bait?

Another couple of minutes drag by. The mud gets deeper and deeper and now you realize you’re in too deep, literally. The mud has come up to your knees, and you struggle to lift it out. You turn your head seeing the entrance. Thinking of leaving already? Wuss. You grunt and narrow your eyes; you trudge through the mud moaning. The torch is close now, you can feel the heat. A pain.

You suck air in sharply. Beneath the mud something pinched you feet. You shut your eyes. Breathing deeply, you ignore it and carry on forward. It’s harder than you thought isn’t it? You shake away the thought and then the pain jolts up your spine. You moan loudly.

“Hey you ok?” A voice from the entrance. Beneath of the pain you give yourself a reassuring smile, knowing the guys are still there. You try answering but again another burst of pain. You finally ignore the torch and try kicking, but your feet barely move. You trapped. Maybe you should accept defeat for once, right? You shake your head but now you’re getting dragged under. Panic. You begin to shout and scream. The mud creeps up your waist and edges closer to your head. This is it. Are you ready?

You moan as you try to lift yourself up, but it’s no use your arms are beneath the mud. Unlucky. You tilt your head back taking gasps of air ignoring the smell. The guys shout down the cave but you hear little.

“Hey you need help?”

“Leave the guy, I mean, get a grip it’s only a cave.”

“I suppose.”

Any last words? Any special goodbyes? You curse loudly but now the mud starts rushing into your mouth blocking the air. It then gushes into your ears blocking sound. You shut your eyes, a line of tears trickling slowly down your cheek before you’re submerged beneath the mud.

Its dark, isn’t it?

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Phew. That was harder then I thought. I could leave it here, or carry it on. I would like to know what you think about it, so please comment. It’s kinda short, but it’s actually tricky, so the fewer the words the less chance of there being a mistake. ;P