Please Read

NOTE: Hey Everyone. I apologize for the long wait. When I had originally started out I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go with my story. So I gave myself time and came up with some really good ideas. I hope you like it. And hopefully the wait was worth it. May I make you guys proud. - ALways, WriterXO

Chapter 1: Lost

I was standing outside of a hospital. That much I could make out. The reason as to why I was there wasn’t completely clear. However, there was one feeling that was made clear. I felt guilty. Everyone kept telling me it wasn’t my fault, but I wasn’t listening to them. They didn’t know what happened because I hadn’t told them anything yet. Out of comfort they were saying words that everyone wants to hear. Words that everyone wants to believe. As much as I wanted to believe them I knew better.

As soon as I got out of the car I had ran over to the ambulance. I knew who was in there. I knew the person yet I couldn’t recognize the face. Is it because of what I had done to them? I felt someone’s hand on the small of my back. They were directing me away. I did all I could to fight my way back.

When they saw my reluctance they only tugged on me harder. The grip of their hands felt big and strong. I turned around to look and see their face. Again, I knew this person yet his face was unrecognizable, too. Eventually I grew tired of fighting him and was more willing to move forward. When we reached the sign of the hospital I stopped short which caught him off guard. He fell into me and his size being twice as mine sent me forward. Quickly, he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back towards him before my face could connect any further with the concrete ground.

Once I was stable again I continued to stay standing in front of the sign that read the hospital’s name. This made the guy confused. It didn’t seem like he was in the mood to fight. Seeing as how I wasn’t going to run anywhere and I didn’t look like I was going to do anything stupid he left me alone. While leaving he muttered something under his breath but his words I could not make out.

I stared at the sign. It had to have been for a good fifteen minutes or longer. I blinked as little as I could. The name of the hospital was right there, right there! My brain refused to comprehend the name. I had passed this hospital numerous times. Why couldn’t I remember its name? Was it because I didn’t want to acknowledge that we were really here? That this was really happening? Or was I trying to beat myself up because if it wasn't because of me we wouldn't be here?

I felt something rise up in my throat and it formed into a lump. Suddenly, my eyes felt hot with water and my vision was blurred by my tears. So desperately I wanted to hold them back. Letting them fall would only prove to me more that this was real. And although I had confirmed it in so many ways that it was true there was still a part of me that wanted to believe it wasn’t.

“Stop doing this to yourself,” I heard someone from a distance say to me in an almost aggravated and tired tone. “It’s not going to change anything. You’re only making it worse.”

It was as if this person had read my mind, I turned around purely out of shock. It was that same guy again. He was coming back outside and was now walking towards my direction. I quickly murmured something when he was close enough to hear it.

I don’t know why I said it. I later realized it was mean. But at the time I didn’t care. I was hurt and so many other things-like being angry, too. I wanted to hurt someone like I was hurt. I wanted them to feel hurt even if it was in the smallest way. I wanted to hurt him even though he wasn't the one who deserved it.

After a second he acted as if he were unaffected. He didn’t say anything further but simply lifted me up into his arms and carried me to the door. Strangely, this time I wasn’t reluctant. I didn’t fight him and I didn’t say anything more. I kept my head down and began to sob. Slowly, his shirt became soaked by my tears. Because at the moment I realized he was right. I couldn’t do anything. For once in my life I felt hopeless. All I could do was cry and that’s what I did. I cried all the way until we got inside and he sat me down on a couch. And then as if someone sprinkled some fairy dust on me I fell asleep instantly.