The cat’s gotten lost,
In the cereal again,
Trying to find the toy at the bottom;
And the dog would you believe,
Is lost down the hole,
That it dug yesterday morning.
And don’t get me started on the budgie,
That keeps getting stuck in the fridge,
And the owl that keeps attacking the cat,
With a silver pistol and a mallet.
While the mice under my bed run the mafia,
And you won’t believe what my mate’s tortoise does,
With a small pot of jelly beans and some crack,
And a track of cramelldansen.
And an ostrich has camped in my garden,
With a flash light and a pen,
And seems to think I’m a member,
Of the ‘Eat all Birds from Spain’.
And an otter lives in my pond,
With the Koi from Saudi Arabia,
And plot revenge on his brother,
Who coincidently lives down my mates’ lane.
And among this curious mixture,
Lives the strangest one of the lot,
And owns the flat and the garden,
(And the cereal box),
And that strangest creature,
Is me.