The Book of Gillmer

The Book of Gillmer

In the youth of Gillmer, he walked around his town and journeyed through his mind endlessly searching for a religion to call his own. On many occasions, Gillmer found religions that seemed promising, only to find he had been fooled by the glamour of their fancy goods and the trinkets the leaders possessed. Then on a clear night in the year of 2007, he had a vision, a thought, a revelation, which would change his life forever. If he could not find a religion to call his to follow, he would make his own, a religion that gave homage to emotions and feelings, along with other important aspects in life. The first key in establishing the religion of Gillmerism was for him to create the divine commandments that must be obeyed. They are as follows.

Thou shalt embrace all emotions

Thou shalt not judge those who have been afflicted by crippling emotional problems but shall show them the way of the Gillmerists.

Thou shalt not kill thyself, unless accompanied by a good song that presents a convincing argument, at which point your proposition will be considered by the elders of the religion, and you’ll be denied because I just like to make people dance for shiggles

Appreciate being alive and appreciate those around you

Thou shalt not teabag other players in any variation, for that is lame, and nubberfull

Attempt to appreciate the emotions that go into songs or the emotions being conveyed by them

Thou shalt not steal, destroy, or otherwise maim the Tasty

Thou shalt not indulge in thy carnal desires in the presences of thy fellows, lest you be swiftly shunned

Thou shalt not give into thy bloodlust

Thou shalt observe the holy day of WEDNESDAY!

Meditation in All Sorts:

Meditation (also called ‘Mediatation’) is performed in the presence of a Gillmerist thought in thy head, one stick of incense and a slinky. Music is commonly encouraged during this period of meditation. There are no restrictions on the type of music, but common choices include indie rock in all of its forms (see ‘Bright Eyes’ and ‘Brand New’). One must have a reason for meditation. Reasons for meditation are wide and varying upon the different followers of Gillmerism. Some may use meditation periods as a means to discover a solution to a question or problem and some may use it as a form of relaxation (example: how to restrain a little sister from ever speaking again). Incense and a slinky are required for meditation because of their therapeutic effects. Incense has been used since the beginning of time for meditation, therefore it cannot be excluded. Slinkies have been discovered as a tool for relaxation. One must hold one end of the slinky in either hands and rock it back and forth. The waves created in the slinky’s patterns are hypnotic and take a troubled mind far away from the world. This is where the mind wanders in all types of creative processes that it can pull from the subconscious. This is where Gillmerism is most present in a person. For more on the true presence of Gillmerism, read on.