My soft cotton skirt slips dramatically to my ankles.
I close my eyes, but it’s practically dark when they’re open.
I’m here, I think, I’m naked now.
I’m totally exposed.
Breathe, in, out.
No one’s going to catch you.
No one really cares.

For some reason I convinced myself it would be a good idea to stand at the lip of the lake completely naked at one-thirteen in the morning and go for a swim. A good ol’ fashioned skinny dip.

Goddamn whosoever coined the term ‘chunky dunk,’ and that doubles for those of you who find the term remotely humorous.

I slowly coax myself to sit at the edge of the dock, dipping my feet into the cool shimmering waves. The moon is the only light tonight. It’s all the light I need.

I lay back on the dock with two big toes in the water.
Maybe I’ll get a moon-tan.

Minutes pass. The sound of the lake is so calming and relaxing.

But I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever jump in.
I’m having second thoughts.

I sit up and flop onto my stomach, leaning over the edge of the dock, facing the lake, the cool dark waters rippling below. I write my name on the surface with my finger, then trace wet circles on my skin. It’s mid-July, but the water’s cold.

I pull myself up, bringing almost my entire torso to a quivering hover over the surface.
I am a human see-saw.
What is another name for see-saw?
Teeter totter.

My nipples are close to the water. One of them touches and defensively hardens.
The water’s really cold.

No, I think to myself. If I jump I’ll freeze.

I turn to leave the dock, my bare feet pattering the water warped boards. I reach down to pull my shirt back over my head, but before I do, I peer back over the lake.

If I go back to my bedroom, I’ll most likely eat incessantly out of boredom and eventually fall asleep watching Comedy Central.

That sounded lame.

I tiptoed back to the edge of the dock and peered out.

I waited for something but the night was completely still.

…

Fuck it, I thought.

And I jumped.