My mother’s navy blue SUV was parked in the empty parking lot across the street

Saving Summer

Chapter One

My mother’s navy blue SUV was parked in the empty parking lot across the street. I could see it clearly from where I was standing on the bridge. It was very surreal to be standing there, alone, at six o’clock in the morning, thinking the thoughts that were running through my head.

But I had already made up my mind. I had come all this way; there was no turning back now. No one knew where I was, or even that I wasn’t still in my bed, fast asleep.

I had driven for nearly an hour to get to this specific location. I knew it was isolated, especially this early in the morning. No one would see me. No one would stop me. I knew this was the best way.

It would be hours before my family – my mother, step-father, and two younger sisters – would realize that I was gone. And by then it would be done and over with. It would be too late. I didn’t want to hurt them, especially my mom, but the pain that I felt every day of my life was too much to bear anymore.

I took a few steps forward, towards the edge of the bridge. My heartbeat sped up. My left foot was now touching the edge. I was trying not to look down at the road below. There weren’t any vehicles on the road; I knew that without even looking. Everything around me was quiet, as if the world was paused, waiting for me to do what I had come here to do.

Taking in a deep breath, I glanced back towards my mother’s SUV in the parking lot. Something didn’t seem right for a moment, and then I realized that there was another vehicle – a red pick-up truck – parked two spots away from the SUV.

Instinctively, I turned my head to the right to look behind me, on the bridge. And it was as if I had been expecting him to be there. Except that I didn’t know who he was.

He startled me, and I almost lost my balance then. He looked afraid, yet comforting. Neither of us said anything for what felt like hours. We just stared at each other, our eyes connected.

Finally, I couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “Excuse me,” I began, looking away. “What are you doing here?”

I didn’t know what I was saying. I just wanted him to go away so I could get this over with.

“I… I just…” He looked away now, too. “I was just driving by, and I saw you.”

“So what?” I asked him.

“You looked like you were… thinking about… you know,” he told me.

He looked older than me, but not by much. My best guess was that he was about twenty-one. He wore sunglasses and had the hood on his sweatshirt pulled over his head. I couldn’t see his face well.

“I wasn’t thinking about it,” I said, then added, “I’ve already decided.”

He was unusually calm, it seemed. “But why?” he wanted to know.

I did not have to answer to him, this stranger who was standing in the way of my plan. As he waited for my answer, I turned back towards the edge of the world, and said nothing.

“Come on,” the guy said, standing behind me. “Just step back here for a minute.”

Now I was becoming annoyed. He needed to leave, because I didn’t want to jump with him there, watching me. He didn’t know me. He didn’t care. So he could just walk away and leave me there, and never think about me again.

“Please?” he asked from behind me, when I still didn’t say anything.

I didn’t look at him. “You’re crazy. You don’t even know me.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him roll up the sleeves of his sweatshirt, revealing tattoos covering both of his entire forearms. I wondered how he wasn’t sweating beyond belief – it was mid-July, and a hot, muggy morning. My tank-top and cut-off shorts were keeping me cool. Not that it would matter, soon enough.

“Maybe I’d like to know you,” the guy suggested.

This comment made me turn completely around to face him – maybe that was his intention. I was trying to look at his face, into his eyes, but still I couldn’t. He wasn’t making it easy. As I continued to look, but remained quiet, he pulled down the hood of his sweatshirt. I noticed his hair then, because it was long and dread-locked. It was brown and sat around on his shoulders.

“No, you don’t want to know me,” I told him.

“Okay, but you don’t want to do this,” he said.

How the hell did he know what I wanted?

Irritated and at my wits end, I told him, “Trust me, I do.”

“Come on, no matter how much you think this is –“

“You don’t know me, you don’t know why I’m here, or why this is what my life has come to. So I really think you should back off, go back to your truck and leave me alone,” I interrupted.

But, for some reason, he wasn’t backing off. He wasn’t leaving me alone.

“Come on,” he said again, giving me a half-smile. “Just give me a chance.”

Give him a chance? A chance for what? I didn’t owe him anything. Why was he acting like he knew me; like he we were friends?

By this point, I was beyond annoyed and had a feeling that this guy was not going to leave without a fight. And I was not in the mood to argue with him anymore.

I stepped towards him, again, but my mind was racing. I had come here to get away from the world, to end the misery that was my life. I had come to jump. And now, in a matter of minutes, this stranger was attempting to change my mind – and was succeeding.

“So, are you going to come with me?” he asked then, reaching out his hand to me.

I gave him a confused look. “What do you mean, go with you?”

“I just mean, you know, leave here,” he replied, still holding out his hand.

I left him hanging for a few minutes, as I thought everything through. I wanted it to be something no one knew about – not until later on when they found my body, that is. If I followed through with the plan now, he would know and he would talk and it wouldn’t be the way I wanted it to be. I figured I could just as easily come back the next morning and no one would ever know the difference. I was too mentally exhausted to put up a fight against this guy – whose name I didn’t even know – for any longer.

So I took two steps closer to him and put my hand in his, which he squeezed. He smiling now, but all I could think about was that he only had one day to change my mind, and he didn’t even know it.