A/N: Sorry for the extremely long delay, but here's the final part of L.O.V.E. :) Reviews are welcomed.

My nickname in school quickly changed from ‘Katherine the Holy’ to ‘Katherine the Slutty’, bringing my reputation down along with it, thanks but no thanks to Jerome who still couldn’t remain tight-lipped about our bedroom life. I can’t even remember who I’ve slept with – all under persuasion from Jerome, and all the girls who found out that I’ve had sex with their boyfriends all ostracised me without exception. Whenever I approached them, they’d stop whatever conversation they were having and glared at me with hatred. What made the entire experience worse was the fact that most of these girls are on the Cheerleading Squad. Now they were all rallying behind Juliana, and hardly ever listened to my instructions anymore.

I hated my new nickname. I tried to change my image and my lifestyle by refusing Jerome’s request for group sex, but in the end, I always gave in to his whims because he threatened to leave me if I didn’t compel by his desires. Uncountable fights erupted between Jerome and I because of that, and sometimes I didn’t care whether my parents were still fighting or not – I’d still return home, simmering with rage. There were also times that we’d ignore each other completely for days. Everyone else in school could see that our relationship was strained and hanging by the thread, mostly guessing that the fault lies on my side for being such a tramp. However, I can’t understand myself. Why am I still hanging on despite being so unhappy with him? Perhaps I was really attached to him. I don’t know.

Every time Jerome and I argued, I was so tempted to pick up the secret phone and call Derrick up to seek comfort. But I didn’t do so. I didn’t want to be seen as such a spoilt brat that runs to another person to rant all I want just because something happened, and then return to the arms of the one whom I’ve argued with the next day. I also didn’t want to distract Derrick from his job, nor make him worry about me unnecessarily. Hence, I kept all the resentment pent up inside me.

--

I glanced through the windows for the umpteenth time to make sure that there wasn’t anyone who knew me in the store. After being really sure that the coast is clear, I hurried into the drugstore, scanning around quickly for the section I was looking for. Thankfully I didn’t have to get that item from the prescription drugs counter. It would be absolutely humiliating. I groaned when I found the item I was looking for at a corner of the outlet. Which brand is the best? I couldn’t care less anymore, so I took a box of each and proceeded to the cashier. The cashier looked at me curiously, much to my annoyance, and I snapped at him.

“Excuse me, could you make it quick? I’m in a hurry here.”

“Oh, sorry. That would be 65, miss.” I paid for the goods, stashed the bag inside my jacket, and ran home.

--

Locking my room door in case anyone decides to stroll in, I emptied the contents of the boxes onto the bed and read the instructions carefully. Luckily they pretty much work the same way, but still, I’m scared. I haven’t had my period for two months now, and I’m worried that I’m pregnant. My conscience is making me feel even worse, because I didn’t insist that Jerome and the other guys wore protection when they did it with me.

I followed the instructions on the boxes, and did the test. Those five minutes was like five years to me, and my chest hurts because my heart was pounding frantically. There were a total of ten pregnancy testing kits lying on the floor. I picked up the first one, closed my eyes as I inhaled a deep breath, and looked at it.

Positive.

“This can’t be true!” I refused to believe the first kit, and I took a look at the rest at the same time.

All positive. It’s true. I’m pregnant.

I was promptly awash with fear. What am I supposed to do now? I’m still in high school – I can’t appear with an enlarged stomach, and neither can I skip school. I was also aware that I couldn’t do cheer-leading anymore. Then, I decided to look for Jerome and break the news to him.

--

It took him quite some time to answer the door. I was staring at the stairs when the door finally opened and revealed Jerome from behind.

“Hey babe, what’re you doing here? Are your parents arguing again?” he asked me as he kissed me on my cheek. Fortunately we were on good terms, otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do.

“No, I need to tell you something.”

“Hmm? And what is that?” I hesitated as I wondered how he’d react if he found out that I’m having a baby.

“Baby? Are you okay?” he asked again.

“Ye- yeah. I don’t know how to break this to you...”

“What is it? You know you can always be frank with me.”

“I’m pregnant.” I said softly.

“WHAT?! That- that’s insane! Is this some kind of joke?!” Jerome went ballistic. As expected.

“I wished that it was a hoax, but I’m serious, Jerome. I’m pregnant.” I hugged him as I burst into tears. “What should we do?”

“What do you mean what should we do?”

“With the baby, of course! What else?”

“Abort it.”

“Wh... what did you say?” I pushed myself away from him, and stared at Jerome in disbelief.

“I said ‘abort it’. Did being pregnant impair your hearing?” His words chilled me to the bones. It was so cold, as if someone else who didn’t give a damn about me said them using Jerome’s voice.

“Are you crazy?! It’s our baby, and you want me to kill it?!” I went hysterical.

“Can you really be sure that it’s mine?”

“If it isn’t yours, whose would it be? You’re the one who slept with me the most!”

“It could belong to one of the guys for all I care. It could even belong to Derrick.”

“Why are you bringing Derrick into this?”

“Because you’ve been spending nights with him at his hotel room for two whole weeks, haven’t you?” He sneered. When did Jerome become a person like this?

“It has nothing to do with Derrick! I swear on it – he never touched me at all!”

“It’s your testimony. I can’t and I won’t believe that you never had sex with him during that period.”

“Please, I’m telling the truth! And besides, he left the country two weeks ago. I didn’t even spend more than a month with him, but I haven’t had my period for two months!” I pleaded. Why can’t he trust me on this?

“Whatever babe. Why don’t you run to Derrick and tell him that you’re pregnant? I’m sure he’d accept you with open arms.” Jerome said sarcastically.

“Jerome, please... stop it...”

“What? Are my words hurting you now? Aren’t you in love with Derrick? You even called his name when we were having sex!” he yelled.

“N... no... I love you, not Derrick!” It was a bad attempt at lying, and he saw through it.

“No you don’t. Not since he came into the picture! Well guess what, babe. The two years I spent with you was an enormous act. I was just betting with the guys that I’d get you to sleep with me before we graduate. Didn’t think you could actually hold up that long, but I succeeded anyway. And seeing that you’re so willing to have sex with me again and again, I decided to make full use of my opportunity. How dumb can you be?” Jerome said with a mocking tone.

I was dumbstruck. He never... loved me? It was all an act?! I slept with him and so many others because of him, and now he tells me that it was all for some stupid bet?! Suddenly I felt like a whore. If only I exercised some restraint, none of this would’ve happened.

“You bastard. I knew I should’ve left you for Derrick when I still could.” I said through clenched teeth. Something in me snapped, and my voice turned steely, void of all emotions. The resentment I kept locked inside started resurfacing. I gathered all my strength in my right hand, and gave Jerome a hard slap across his face. The blunt force made his head ram into the side panel of the door because he was unprepared for it, and was standing on one leg.

“Screw you, bitch!” He shouted at me as I turned on my heels to leave. He can shout all the profanities he wants at me, I don’t care anymore. My pace quickened as I neared my house, and I ran up to the bathroom and locked myself inside, crying my heart out.

In reality, his words did hurt me a lot. It shattered my heart completely. After all I’ve done for him, he decides to tell me that he never loved me. And I thought what we had was special. It seems I can’t trust anyone at all, especially not in a high school where backstabbing was rampant like an epidemic. I should’ve trusted no one but myself. The frustration was so immense that I kept on punching the ceramic bathtub with full force, until my fists were battered and bloodied. But I was so numbed from the shock that I couldn’t feel any pain anymore.

Standing up shakily, I inched towards the basin and left my hands under the running water to wash away the blood. Sure it stings, but nothing would hurt more than the words Jerome hurled at me just a couple of moments ago. I looked at myself through the mirror bolted to the wall. A girl with silky straight mahogany-coloured hair and hazel eyes stared back. When I looked closer, the girl’s eyes looked as if they’ve lost their sparkle. There was no soul.

I never noticed that I was so worn-out until now. I reached for the bandages in the medicine cabinet, dried my hands and sat on my bed as I slowly wrapped them up, flinching whenever I accidentally applied too much pressure.

Inadvertently, the memories of the time spent between Jerome and I came to mind – and they all crumbled into nothing after being piled up so high within these two years. At times like these, I wished that I was knocked out cold, so that I won’t have the consciousness to think about things that I don’t want to. I fell onto my back and stared at the ceiling. An image of Jerome’s face appeared for a split second, then dissipated. I willed myself to think of Derrick, but my thoughts were so messed up that I couldn’t concentrate.

Glancing towards my dressing table, I wondered whether I should tell Derrick about my pregnancy. But I was afraid – afraid that Derrick would say the same things like Jerome did. I don’t have the courage to risk getting my heart broken twice in the same day, so I tried to sleep.

Nightmares dominated my dreams that night.

--

“Katherine, I know you’re in there. Open up.” Dad was banging at my door. He’d just received a call from the school, since I’ve been skipping school for three consecutive days now. Otherwise he wouldn’t have a reason for his actions. I just kept quiet.

“Katherine, answer me. Why have you been skipping school?”

“Not like you care.” I retorted.

“Just so you know, you can always talk to me if you have no one to turn to.” He sighed dejectedly.

“Yeah, I’ll do it when you’re drunk.”

I felt a little bad at treating my dad like that, but I couldn’t help it. He has ignored the family for so long, and now he wants to get me to talk to him about my problems? Fat chance. I’d end up slaughtered if he found out that I’m pregnant anyway.

For the past few days, all I did was stare at both of my handphones which I set on the bed in front of me, hoping some true friend or Derrick would call me so that I can pour my heart out without restraint. But both phones stayed silent. Derrick was most probably busy working, and the last bit of friends I have – if I still had any – were probably relishing the fact that I wasn’t around to screw their boyfriends. One simple misconception can go a long way. Now I hate Jerome even more for spreading the secrets that should be kept locked away from the ears of others. He messed up my life for good – both my present and my future. He left me broken and alone, and landed an extra hit on me before tossing me away like a broken rag doll.

There were times that I’d touch my stomach, trying to discern the pulse of the child within, not knowing that it was futile. Wasn’t I supposed to feel happy that there’s another life living in me? All I can feel now is immense regret, acknowledging the possible event that the baby may suffer from a broken family like what I’m going through now. I don’t want it to experience the same life I’ve had – it’s a pure living hell to say the least. Besides, what should I do when the baby develops further? Other people are bound to notice when my stomach gets more bloated by the day. And what should I do if I gave birth...?

The questions are driving me crazy. It felt like my mental health just completely fell apart. Sometimes I’d hit my own head in a useless attempt to push the thoughts out of my head, and at the end of the day, there would be fresh wounds on some part of my body. Certainly not a pretty sight to see.

I’ve pretty much given up on life. The entire school would’ve known that I’m pregnant and out of a relationship with Jerome by now. I can just imagine every student jeering and sneering when they see me, and Juliana coming up to me, acting all high and mighty because I suppose she’s been installed as the new captain of the Cheerleading Squad, hand clinging on to Jerome. Now that I think about it, they could actually be great together, for their sheer shallowness and annoying faces.

--

My despair and wallowing in self-pity got the better of me. I found a blade sitting on top of my desk, and suddenly an outrageous idea came to me. I decided to commit suicide. By then, I was already tormented to the deepest corners of my soul, courtesy of my mind which kept on feeding me memories I don’t want to remember. I also didn’t want to let my baby suffer from the cruelty of mankind.

I wanted to write a letter to deliver my last words, but placed the pen down again. No one deserves to hear my final words. My letter would be filled with profanities if I wrote it anyway, so why bother tarnishing my image further with such stuff? The only person worthwhile was Derrick. But I doubt that he’d get his hands on my letter, so I aborted my idea.

Picking up the blade, I laid on my bed and raised my right arm so that I could see my wrist. I positioned the blade near my veins, and pressed hard into it. Trickles of blood dripped down at first, and the flow increased steadily. I smiled as I watched the blood drip onto the sheets, staining it red.

“It’s going to be over soon, my baby.” I placed the blade on the bed, and clutched my stomach.

A truly peaceful moment of death. My life flashed before my eyes, filled with nothing but sorrow and agony as my consciousness started to waver. My eyelids started to get heavy, and I felt that my breathing slowed down considerably.

As the last bit of breath started to escape my body, I whispered with tear-filled eyes, “I’m sorry, Derrick. I love you.”