There once was a boy, by the name of Nell

Who had an extraordinary ability in every cell

To reproduce anew every day

And so his body could never decay.

When he was born, dear Dr. Nick

Said "my lady! What a fabulous trick!

For one who has cells that will never decay

Might very well live until doomsday.

For the first three years of his life, he was good

Learning the messages of peace and brotherhood.

His parents figured, if he never would go

Then why set his morals so very low.

The fame that he got from being immortal

Was like a personal popularity portal.

The kids at school all knew his name

CBS did a show. No end to his fame!

Well, an immortal cannot be famous forever

And eventually people lost interest in his endeavor

And so he got vain, and decided his trick.

He would pretend to be very sick.

He went in Tuesday to see Dr. Nick

Now a venerable man, but still quite quick

And said "Please, Dr. Nick, can you give me a pill

So that it appears that I'm deathly ill?"

Nick said no, and he should be ashamed

That the public had forced him to be so ashamed.

And so he turned to a Doctor by the name of Mack

Who turned out to be a bit more of a quack.

Mack! Said Nell, I need bumps, I need spots!

I need something that will make the public all caught!

And so Dr. Mack made a new medicine,

And gave it to Nell in a capsule of tin.

Now, Nell, said Mack, not hiding his gloating

This pill will give you some wonderful bloating.

But don't eat it too quick, that’s why it's in tin,

Until you're far from here, don't pop it in.

The pill was large, and tough to swallow,

But instantly Nell felt suspiciously hollow.

He gave a great belch, and to his everlasting surprise

Suddenly lost sight in his right and left eyes.

He broke out in spots, and a foaming so thick

That he felt the need to go back to Dr. Nick,

Who said "My dear friend, I fear that this scam

Might end up the end of all that I am.

And Dr. Nick said “Say Ahh!,

Yes it is as I feared.

I am afraid, my dear nell,

It’s the end of your years.”

And, to his shock, Nell smiled

And said “Thanks, Dr. Nick, I’ll be back in a while!”

And he joyously stumbled over to his car

And drove back to his house (it wasn’t that far.)

ABC did a documentary of his life the next day

CBS caught on and interviewed him (for pay!)

NBC, WB, even ESPN.

He was raking in money with every stroke of his pen.

But then he realized that there wasn’t an end.

The pain he had bought, although a godsend,

Was still making him feel so very ailing

He fell down the stairs when his hand missed the railing.

And Dr. Sam (descended of Nick) said, “My dear friend,

Your visit to young Dr. Mack,

Has put your body under malicious attack.

I fear the end of your life may come soon.

In fact, I’d say, by the next full moon.

And now Nell was sad. He’d lived for one hundred and twenty

But, he told Time, he had lived plenty

And so, with his fame, and his oodles of money,

He waited out his days, thinking nothing was funny.

On October 23rd, he gave such a lurch

And his body was hauled to the good Christian church

And then they rand out the holy church bell.

And so ends the tale of the fabulous Nell.