Fateful Trouser Socks

Part I

There once was a pair of trouser socks. These were not just regular trouser socks, they were fateful trouser socks, yes they were. These trouser socks were special, not only because they were fateful, but because these fateful trouser socks loved adjectives. They insisted on people putting an adjective in front of their name, which was Trouser Socks. Their favorite adjective was ‘fairy.’

Every day, the trouser socks would go outside and meet with their friends. “Hey fairy Trouser Socks!” they would call. “How are you today?”

And the trouser socks would respond, “Well, I am feeling rather fateful today.” Trouser Socks’ best friends were Feet and Boots. They always went everywhere together.

Trouser Socks were very fateful, hence the name Fateful Trouser Socks. Fate seemed to be attracted to the trouser socks, and the trouser socks loved Fate. They welcomed Fate with open arms (or toes, or something like that, because they were, after all, trouser socks, and trouser socks do not have arms).

“Hey trouser socks, let’s go have an adventure!” Feet and Boots said one day.

“Okay!” replied the trouser socks. So they set off to look for grand adventures of the trouser sock kind.

“Where should we go first?” asked Boots.

“We should go to the Great Outside!” said the trouser socks. They Great Outside was also known as Anywhere Other Than the Bedroom Where Trouser Socks Lived.

“Let’s go, clever trouser socks!” Feet said. Feet tried to move, but couldn’t. “Oh no!” Feet cried, distressed. “I cannot seem to move!”

“Oh no!” cried Boots and Trouser Socks.

“Whatever shall we do, distressed trouser socks?” Boots asked.

“I have a plan!” Trouser Socks said excitedly. “Feet, you stay here and keep watch while we go have an adventure!”

“Okay!” Feet replied. Trouser Socks and Friends always talked with exclamation points. They were always excited or agitated about something. In fact, one of Trouser Socks’ more common nicknames was Excited Trouser Socks.

So Boots and Trouser Socks went out to the Big Hall and looked at it in wonder with their socky and booty-type eyes. There was a cat lying in the middle of the hallway.

"Oh no!" cried Boots. "Whatever shall we do? There is a cat in the hallway!" Boots loved to point out the obvious a lot.

But luckily, Trouser Socks had a plan.

"I have a plan!" Trouser Socks said.

"Yaaaay!" Boots cheered.

"You stay here and distract the cat until it falls asleep, and I'll go explore! I'll come back when the cat falls asleep again!" Trouser Socks exclaimed.

But Boots was smarter than Feet, and didn't want to be left behind.

"How will you know when the cat falls asleep?" Boots asked.

"Hmm, that's a thoughy," Freezing Trouser Socks replied. The great outside was much colder than the room Trouser Socks came from.

"How about you whistle when the cat goes to sleep, and I'll come back for you?" Chilly Trouser Socks said.

"Okay!" Boots replied.

So Lonely Trouser Socks went off down the hallway alone. Trouser Socks decided to skip. Trouser Socks loved skipping. It was their favorite thing to do. In fact, Boots sometimes called Trouser Socks "Skippy Mc-Trouser Socks." They enjoyed the nicname, because it was all in good fun.

As Trouser Socks skipped around the great outside, they came to a stop. It was a dead end!

"Oh no!" cried Trouser Socks. "Whatever shall we do?"

"I have a plan!" Trouser Socks replied. Trouser Socks enjoyed talking to itself.

"I shall make a lever and open the dead end!" Trouser Socks said.

"Oh, clever Trouser Socks, you! What would I do without you?"

"Why, I do not know. You are very lucky to have me around." Trouser Socks could be a bit conceited at times. But Trouser Socks figured, if everyone was as conceited at times, why was it so bad if someone was a little more conceited than others?

Trouser Socks looked around, and saw a toothpick and a hairpin in the corner of the great outside. They were under a low table.

"I shall go and get that toothpick to use as a lever," Trouser Socks declared. "Only I have one problem. I do not have hands. Oh dear, what should I do?"

"You should pick it up with your toes!" called Feet, who was passing by.

"Yes, yes, that's a good idea," Trouser Socks mused, not even noticing Feet. Feet didn't mind.

Trouser Socks moved over to the corner and gripped the toothpick with its toes.

"Oh, Strong Trouser Socks!" Trouser Socks cried.

Trouser Socks pulled the toothpick over to the big wall and lifted it up.

"And now I'll open this big wall!" Trouser Socks exclaimed.

"One, two, three, go!" Brave Trouser Socks yelled. The toothpick hit the wall and bounced off, landing on the ground.

"Golly gee!" Frustrated Trouser Socks said. "I shall try again." So Trouser Socks picked up the toothpick to try again. And Trouser Socks failed again.

"Corn flab mitt!" Trouser Socks exclaimed. They liked to make up their own exclamations of anger and grief.

Depressed Trouser Socks sat down to cry.

"I can't open the door!" Trouser Socks said. Trouser Socks were sad. "What can I do?"

Trouser Socks heard a loud whistle-like sound from the hallway.

"I wonder who's making that noise?" Trouser Socks said. And then Forgetful Trouser Socks remembered.

"Boots!" Gleeful Trouser Socks called.

Trouser Socks ran off down the hallway. But one of Trouser Socks's toes snagged on a corner, and Trouser Socks began unraveling. Fateful Trouser Socks kept running (or whatever it is that trouser socks do, because everyone knows that socks can't run), not knowing or noticing about the whole unraveling situation.

At the end of the great outside, Trouser Socks discovered that Trouser Socks was no longer Trouser Socks. Trouser Socks was no the Poor Lonely String.

"Oh, darn!" Former Trouser Socks said.

END OF PART I