She Won't Miss Me

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People danced lively around us as the colored lights flickered dimly on the small dance floor. She was still talking, but I couldn’t look at her for too long.

“Because the way it ended…” she said in a soft tone as she shook her head, making the black curls bounce gently past her shoulders, “it sucked.”

I nodded slowly in agreement. “Yeah,” I mumbled, not knowing how else to respond.

It’s been a few months since I’ve seen her last. I’ve actually avoided the movie theater she worked at, practically wasting that free movie pass she had given me way before the shit hit the fan.

My eyes shifted towards her flawless face, but her eyes looked down. I dropped my gaze quickly; she looked so good tonight that I had to turn away. Dude, don’t even think about it, I warned myself. That’s not what you’re here for.

“I’m sorry about what I did to you,” she apologized softly. Her tone seemed real enough to me. “But I really wanted to let you know that my feelings for you…it was genuine.”

It took a lot of self-control not to look up at her because if I did, I knew I would be too easy on her. That face could get away with murder.

“I liked you because you were so different from me, but then again we were the same,” she continued in a light tone. That wouldn’t make sense to the people in the real world, but I guess it made sense to both of us.

“And I guess I dug that I-don’t-give-a-crap-what-you-think attitude,” she admitted with small laugh.

I had to chuckle. Hey, at least she still dug something about me, I thought.

“And I don’t know if you ever wanna talk to me after tonight, but I just wanted to tell you that I really did like you,” she said lowly. “I didn’t want you to go on thinking that I didn’t, because I did. A lot.”

My eyes finally looked up at her, unwillingly, but her big, dark chocolate eyes were glued towards the floor. Whoa, it sounded as if did care after all…This was all wishful thinking, though.

“Slowing it down for the couples. Guys grab a girl and get on that dance floor," the DJ said.

Our eyes went towards the dance floor and then our eyes finally met again. Those eyes still had gleam, but they held a hidden challenge. “You still have your moves, Hunter?” she questioned with a smile.

I grinned and put my hand out. Hell yeah, I do. Might as well show her what she’ll be missing while I’m here.

Nessa lightly took my hand as I lead her towards the dance floor. It took a lot of effort not to quiver from her light, warm touch. It used to drive me insane. I’d be lying if I told you it didn’t even now. “I’m not really good at slow dancing,” I admitted with a laugh.

“It’s okay,” she assured me with a chuckle. “As long as you don’t step on my heels, I’m good,” she said in a playful tone.

My grin grew wider. Nothing about her changed. Girl still had jokes.

We slow-danced for awhile, still keeping a fair distance away from each other. I have to admit that Nessa looked goddamn beautiful tonight. It was driving me crazy. I’ve never seen a black and white dress look so colorful because of that killer smile. That dimpled smile could coax me into anything.

She looked up at me and we held our gaze for a split second; I almost forgot there were other punks in the room.

“I’m sorry too,” I finally said in a soft voice as if her eyes convinced me to apologize. “For what I said to you before…I didn’t mean it.” I shook my head, angry at myself for what I had said to her the last time I had saw her. “I was pissed,” I explained. It was some messed up shit that I wished I could take back. Shit that I didn’t even believe was true.

Her eyes were locked into mine and I could feel my palms start to sweat. She was doing it. She was luring me in. I wouldn’t let her…

“I still wanna talk to you, Nessa,” I blurted out. I had to look down before I began to change my mind. “But just as friends.”

Okay, so I guess there was still a little something in there that had for Nessa or whatever, but I couldn’t be with her. She had her chance and she screwed it up. It’s done with and I could just brush it off now. Anyway, it’s not like the kid still has anymore feelings for me now.

“Yeah,” she whispered.

We were both silent for a moment, not looking each other. My hands were still on her waist, numb. I couldn’t wrap my head around what was bothering me. I had the most beautiful girl in my hands right now and I told her I wanted to be just friends? Was there something wrong with me? Did she want to be just friends?

Now I remembered why I had wanted just friends and nothing further: she wouldn’t want me. Why else did she go around with other guys while she was with you? In the back of my mind I began to wonder if she wanted me, would I still want to be just friends…?

Like I said, it’s all wishful thinking.

Her familiar flowery scent almost knocked me out as she leaned in a bit closer to me. It was like my head began to spin, probably from her scent and the heat in this small room. “So are you staying?” she finally asked, breaking the silence. “We have cake,” she dangled that information at me with a grin.

My lips twisted into a smile. “As tempting as that sounds,” I laughed, “I can’t stay long. I have work,” I explained. The clock behind her on the wall was telling me I was already late. Crap.

“Oh,” she murmured, sounding, to my surprise, a little disappointed.

I leaned in closer to her, taking another whiff of her perfume with my head still spinning. “Happy birthday, Nessa,” I whispered.

A small smile formed across her face, causing some serious dimple action. “Do you wanna just…I don’t know, hang out one day?” she suggested casually.

Okay, I wasn’t going to lie. I still kind of dug Nessa. So I knew that if we hung out again, I would dig her even more, and I didn’t want to set myself up for another disappointment.

“One day, kid.”

Biting her full bottom lip, she just nodded.

A small stab of guilt hit me. Nessa was probably thinking I never wanted to see her again, which wasn’t a complete lie. It would be easier on me if I never saw her again. You can’t just go on with life and see someone around knowing that you can never have that person.

I didn’t want it to be this way, but sometimes shit has to go down like this. It didn’t just suck for her.

“I should get going,” I finally said, my hands dropped from her waist. “I’ll see you around,” I lied. I wasn’t planning to see her around any time soon. I didn’t want to want her when she didn’t want me. Seeing her again would just remind me that I could never have her. Another part of me was hoping that I would see her around.

“Yeah,” she whispered with a nod. “I hope so.”

“Thanks for the dance, kid,” I said with a grin.

As I took one last glance at her before leaving, I could’ve sworn I saw her full, pink lips form into a frown.

I knew she wouldn’t miss me much; there were plenty of all-too-willing guys at this party.

My stupid, traitor legs wouldn’t function any longer as I was halfway towards the exit if I didn’t turn around to steal one last look at the birthday girl.

When I finally glanced over my shoulder, Nessa was alone in the dance floor and she was sticking out like a sore thumb because nobody can even compete with her—she was too gorgeous for her own good.

Damn, she’s beautiful, I caught myself thinking again. You sure you wanna let that go? My damn head was telling me to just get the hell out of here and leave, but something else somewhere inside of me didn’t want me to leave her.

That all disappeared when some pretty-boy blonde approached Nessa on the dance floor. They exchanged a few words and he took her hand as they walked off together.

Like I said, she won’t miss me.

I turned back and headed towards the exit again, ignoring everything in my head that was telling me to go back and sucker punch the guy.

She won’t miss me, she won’t miss me… I repeated in my head as I clenched my fists.

A part of me was hoping that she would miss me, and the other part was already missing her.

A/N: For readers that aren’t familiar with my stories, this is Shane’s POV of the last chapter (On The Ride) of my story You Could Be Happy.

I did some edits to it to fit the rewritten chapter of the story. Review?