Prologue
(Revised)

I sat on the beach alone, my sandals off and my feet in the water. I shivered as the cold water lapped playfully at my toes. I was staring out at the endless blue of the ocean. The waves were crashing together violently because of the wind swirling above. The clouds were dark and there were microscopic drops of water falling from the sky, only slightly warmer than the water at my feet.

There was a faint sound of children running and playing further down the beach. It sounded to me like a distant echo; I didn’t turn to look at them or the families I knew were with them. I had no energy left, not even enough to move farther up the beach because the tide was coming in. I just continued to stare out at the violent waves. It was almost as if the waves showed me a part of myself I wasn’t aware of. The inner turmoil that I felt every day since…

Wrapping my arms around my knees tightly, I felt that I would fall apart without them holding me together. I imagine the pain I felt was the equivalent to having ones heart torn out. I closed my eyes and sighed again, lifting my face towards the sky. I felt empty, hollow, like I was less that a person.

I plunged my hands into the sand beside me and cringed as the small grains of sand found their way under my nails. I squeezed my hands into fists and lifted them. Opening my fingers one by one, I saw the sand clumped together in the shape of my fist. I turned my hand upside down and let the sand and my hand fall to the ground. The water washed up and overtook the sand I had just dropped. When it receded the sand looked undisturbed. If only the water could wash over me and leave me like I had been before he had disrupted my life.

Surrendering to the rain and picking myself up off the ground, I sauntered back to my apartment. The rain started to pick up but it didn’t quicken my pace. The wind was stronger now, blowing the rain straight into my face. It was summer, but the weather had been rainy and humid for weeks. I heard a small rustle in the trees beside me and peered through the branches. With a closer look it seemed the rustle was merely the wind.

I could see now that it was getting darker and I would be happy to be back inside where it was warm and dry so I could change. I was going to go out for supper tonight; I was starting to get peckish.

I got to the door and let myself in; the apartment was quiet as always and I sighed. I didn’t bother to take off my shoes, not caring if the sand was tracked all through the place. I headed straight to my room and closed the door.

Looking into the mirror, barely seeing my reflection, I concentrated harder and saw the girl looking back at me. She was dirty blonde, with long stringy hair; it was damp from the walk home. Under my eyes were two dark purple bruises. Only, they weren’t bruises. They reminded me of the poor sleep that I always got, I couldn’t get comfortable enough to sleep. When I finally did fall asleep from exhaustion, I woke frequently.

The girl in the mirror also had pale skin, inhumanly waxy-looking. My normally rosy cheeks no longer held their color but were pale like the rest of my face. The clothes I wore hung off me like they were a size too big. I never noticed what I wore anymore; it all looked the same.

Even with all of this, none of it scared me more than my eyes. I remembered them blue and sparkling with life. Now they were dead and lifeless, holding none of their previous light. I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to make it less flat. I only ended up getting my fingers caught in the knots. I pulled them out of my hair and picked my brush up off the dresser. I forced it through my hair until it was smooth.

I held my hands over my face, exhausted, and decided I should get in the shower. I was cold; and a hot shower would make me stop shivering. I sighed and grabbed some clothes to bring with me into the bathroom.

The hot water pounded on my back, my hair. It ran down my body and I felt renewed. I saw rivers of soap making their own paths down the drain. Because the water was searing my skin, I didn’t feel the warm tears running down my face. The only way I’d known I was crying was because my vision had blurred from the salty wetness.

I didn’t bother drying my hair, there was no one to impress anymore. I didn’t notice the clothes that I had put on and it didn’t matter. I was going to hunt, no need to look decent for what I was about to kill.

I grabbed my keys and my phone and headed out the front door, into the crappy weather. The good news was people liked to be out in the rain at night, I especially the smokers.

.

I had known love, in the strongest and purest sense of the word. In the, can’t eat, can’t sleep without him kind of way. To be loved was the single greatest thing in this world, was it not? We had been perfect, but now he was gone. I could remember his face of course, it was impossible to forget. He had the face of an angel. My angel. There was only him and no one else. Not ever, and never again.

I could still remember, with perfect clarity, the day I met him.