Before Sleep Finds Me

In my wildest dreams I have a fantasy life.
I look just like me and I think just like me.
I’m more rash and act out every instinct I’ve ever had.
I don’t have to think of what will happen or what you’ll think.
I do everything I’ve wanted to do and lose my mind to such an enveloping compelling life
That’s all mine.
It all happens the exact way I want it to and
I plan every line and all my moves very carefully knowing it will all be right.
Noise so loud my body goes numb and I can’t tell what song it is,
Nothing more than the fact that my body has decided it’s time to move.
All the eye contact I can handle before I’m off.
Something lasting.
Something happy.
Something I want.
Eyes close and head tilts back,
Open mouth and spine trembles.
I am wanted.
I am in charge.
I am gone.
I forget myself and find out I’m happy.
This isn’t my every day.
And when things go bad, I’m there.

August thirteenth, two thousand and eight.