Author: fatbird33 PM
It's about time that somebody made a vampire parody! Co-written with my bro: GriffinKnight77.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,579 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 01-18-09 - Published: 08-13-08 - Status: Complete - id: 2558504
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Chapter Three (again)
Yes, we've already had a chapter three, but this is a new chapter. A chapter of epic proportions. A chapter of battles, and life and death and everything in between.
"Hey!" Vampire shouted. "You can't kill my wanna be gay lover!"
"And who's going to stop me?" Maxy growled like a rabies infested animal.
"I am! I am a vampire slayer!"
Everyone gasped in shock. They had no idea. I mean he was only named Vampire Slayer and wore that obnoxious latex suit with VS on it. I mean, there were no signs of this at all!
While he had everyone in shock, Vampire pulled out his water gun filled with garlic. "HAHAHAHA!" he cackled and right in Maxy face shot off the gun. "BURN, BURN!!!" He hit and hit Maxy many times with his bullets of garlic.
Baba excitedly danced in the background singing, "burn, baby, burn."
Vampire ran out of ammo and started at the face in front of him. Wait, the face was still there? How was that possible? Maxy seemed completely unaffected by the garlic. "Crap," Vampire said. "I forgot to buy the organic stuff!"
Maxy rolled his eyes and nonchalantly stuck hands under his black robe. In seconds he pulled out a pair of fifty caliber machine guns. Needless to say Vampire didn't last too long. He was screwed.
Within seconds, maybe less than that, no one timing, Vampire was dead. "Oh yeah," Demoness said excitedly, we need a new paint job on the tower.
"I'll help paint. I love painting!" Baba said, jumping up and down. "Wait, you just killed the sexy man in tights. Awww hell no!" Baba prepared his attack.
"No! You can't hurt him!" Candie yelled out nobly to save her one true love.
"You can't hurt my business partner!" Demoness snarled at Candie.
They had now formed a circle around the dead body of Vampire. It was a circle of fate, of life and of DEATH!
Surely they would not all survive this. And you are correct, they didn't. But they didn't kill each other.
They were ready to attack, when a sudden loud moaning was heard from the skies. "What the hell?" Baba exclaimed.
" IT'S RAINING WERE-WHALES!!!!" Demoness and Maxy exclaimed horrified.
The were-whales came crashing down from the sky and crushed all of our characters. They were dead.
Even Demoness and Mazy who are technically immortal, but the only thing that can kill a vampire is not garlic, or a wooden stake, but it is in fact raining were-whales.
It is a common misconception that vampires and werewolves kill each other. The truth is that were-whales do the killing. It's just that as the legend told throughout the years, one man had a carazy speech impairment and everyone thought that he had said were-wolves instead of were-whales.
So what's the lesson of this story? No matter what happens, in the end the were-whales will get you!
THE END, OR IS IT JUST THE BEGINNING…