Chapter 5: Les Misérables

Leah

I was sitting in front of my laptop, with five college essays to start and two hundred pages to catch up on in Les Miserables for AP French; that essay wasn’t due for a few weeks but I also had to start the five-page paper for The Sound and the Fury. It was all due than forty eight hours. And I couldn’t stop getting up every fifteen minutes to run to the bathroom. Neil would be here soon to help, and he’d see my hair too. And I was scared. Stupid me. I was freaking out.

Leila’s sister, Emma, blindfolded me when I got there. I didn’t know she’d darken my hair too, along with bleaching it in the back and adding the hot-pink semi permanent color. I loved it, except I was still in shock. It was like looking at some other girl’s hair. When I pushed it back, away from my face, I could still be Neil’s timid, smart, safe girlfriend. But when I let the dark hood of color flow over my face and expose the richly colored pink parts, things were different.

That’s exactly how I’m sure Neil would see it. I sound like a coward, but I just don’t feel like dealing with him right now. I did not need to hear that condescending tone. How many times have I heard him criticize colored hair? It drew unnecessary attention, he felt. People need to draw attention to themselves. People, Neil said, with low self-esteem need the attention.

And that really pissed me off. What could Neil ever know about being unhappy with who he was? Neil focuses solely on perfection and he has no problem attaining it. The first time he ran for student government in high school, you could have never met anyone so sure of himself. That’s probably why people voted for him for student body President. You couldn’t help but have faith in someone like that.

Shit, I just had way too much.

I was so scared, in freshman English, when I got needled into being perfect Neil Bateman’s partner. I was so afraid of not being smart enough for him and that had never really happened to me with my school work. It was the only thing I could consistently be confident in. Neil Bateman being involved really freaked me out.

“It’s funny,” that’s how he started the conversation, “how many classes we’ve had together, Leah, and have never worked together. I think I’ve had English with you for the last three years.”

I gaped as he continued. “It’s intimidating, you know. How smart you are, I mean, but then with you, I know we’ll get an A.”

It was like my stomach dropped out of my ass. He thought I was smart—that I could help him. And that smile—so perfect and reassuring—of course we’d get an A. How couldn’t we get an A? I wouldn’t want him to change his opinion of me being smart and all.

And three years later, I still would rather hide in a corner right now than change his opinion of me. Am I a worm? God yes, I am, but I can’t think about that now. I had to stay strong and let whatever he was going to say roll off my shoulders. I wonder how many times I’ll have to stress the semi-permanent aspect of the color.

After I zipped my hoodie and pulled the pajama shorts down, I left the confines of my room, stacked all of my schoolwork on top of my laptop and skipped down the steps.

We’ve got two sides to our basement, one a decked out home entertainment center and the other was the home office my dad installed for my mother the one year she worked at home. She works downtown now and that’s where Neil and I go to study—he doesn’t think it’s appropriate to study, sitting next to each other on my bed. When I heard the sounds of Mike friends, I knew Neil would be even more pissed off that we couldn’t study in peace.

The doorbell rang while I was waiting at the door, while practically gnawing my bottom lip off. “Hey Neil, um, come on in.”

His dark grey eyes flicked over my bare legs quickly and he frowned. He shifted the strap on his laptop bag across this shoulder. “You know I hate distractions while studying, Leah.”

That was like a slap in the face, but one I could ignore. I blinked at him a few times—okay maybe the change wasn’t that drastic, he’ll notice soon enough—and shrugged. “Don’t look then,” I accidentally snapped at him. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing. “Let’s just get working.”

I walked in front of him the whole time, through the kitchen, down the steps, and into the study. I even flipped my hair a few times, revealing the color. Neil still said nothing.

I turned up the classical station on the XM Radio and sat on one side of the L-shaped desk with Neil on the opposite. We couldn’t have our legs brushing, of course; God forbid he touches me while we’re studying. I opened my laptop and did a quick run-through of my thesis, before turning to him. I scooted over to him with the laptop and tried to keep my lip from trembling when he stiffened after my bare thigh grazed his knee.

I just don’t get it. Garrett didn’t seem so repulsed…I wonder how much harder he’d flinch away from me if he knew what I was up to Sunday night. “Would you read my thesis? I feel like it’s too wordy.”

“Your work for English is always perfect,” he said with a slight smile after skimming the page on Microsoft Word. “Don’t second guess yourself, Leah. Now, have you finished the essays for Yale? The deadline is in a few days.”

“I really don’t think I’ll have time to finish it, Neil. Besides, I already got into Northwestern, and Princeton and UC Berkeley are all done. Those are my top three—I’ll do U of I for a safety, but I don’t think—,” I started. I had been planning this speech for the past few days.

Neil will be—I have no doubt about this fact—at Yale next year, pre-law. I just don’t want to go to Yale. If I get into Princeton, there’s no way I’d pick Yale. If it wasn’t such a prestigious school, I probably wouldn’t pick it over Northwestern. Don’t get me wrong, it was gorgeous when I visited with Neil last year. I just don’t see myself there next year—with Neil.

“You’ve been talking about us going to the same college for three years,” he murmured. He just sounded so hurt; I was caught off guard after he rested his hand on my thigh and dragged his thumb back and forth across it. “I don’t want us to be so far apart for four years, Lee.”

I opened my mouth to answer him, leaning closer toward the smell of his crisp Ralph Lauren cologne— “Hey,” the sound of the door opening made me jump. “Leah, I wanna show…Lisa your hair! She’s thinking of dying her own and wants Em to do it.”

Leila was giddy with whatever she’d been drinking or smoking; I at least knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t get involved with anything harder than that. Actually, she could just be happy that I hadn’t talked to Mike yet. She glanced at Neil, who was glaring hotly at her. “Come on, Lee!”

She was very drunk then, because Leila hasn’t called me Lee in…I don’t know how long. Neil probably thought that name was exclusive to him. I glanced at him before standing up stiffly. “I’ll just be right back.”

There were more people back there than I expected—Mike moved the five couches into a circle along the far walls and some more of his friends just lounged on the floor. I didn’t have time to look around for Garrett before Lisa jumped up from some guy’s lap.

I stared at his face he moved out of the shadows and I realized it was Garrett staring coolly back at me. “Oh!”

I jumped when Leah tapped my shoulder. There was a slight smile of triumph on her lips and I realized that Leila wasn’t drunk at all. Her eyes flitted toward Garrett and back to me again, just before her smile widened. I shrugged her hand off my shoulder and turned to Lisa who was gorgeous enough with her bleached blonde hair—even with the dark roots peeking through.

“Let’s see then, Lee,” Leila goaded. What a cruel bitch she was. Of course she knew I had just slept with Garrett days ago and what a treat it must have been for her to show me the next girl he’d sleep with.

I lifted the top of my hair up and turned to show them the color. I curled my toes under my feet bent my head so maybe Garrett wouldn’t see how red my face was. I was practically trembling. Lisa was fingering my hair when I dropped it abruptly and turned back to them. “I’ve got to get back.”

I took a few steps before someone called my name. “Leah, do you mind if I find you a little later. There was something I forgot to mention to you that night in the car.”

Sure, Garrett, of course, I thought. Just meet me upstairs right after you bang Lisa’s brains out. I. Will. Be. Waiting.

And then I stubbed my toe on the door to the study. My laptop was back in my original spot and Neil was bent over his AP Statistics book. He still hadn’t mentioned the hair.

Who was I to think he’d care about something as trivial as my hair, when he was already planning our attendance in New Haven next year?

Leila

The truth is that I was really helping her out. And maybe I was a little jealous—not that I have any sort of crush on Garrett. It’s just he never showed any interest in me that way. Like everyone used to say that I was the prettier friend between Leah and I, but I don’t see how that can be possible, when she’s dating Neil Bateman, Mr. Popularity—who is admittedly hot—and Garrett’s obviously interested, even though she’s his bestfriends little sister and he already slept with her.

And I knew she would sabotage whatever I could ever have with Michael. I wanted to shove sharp pieces of glass up my ears listening to her talk with Neil about fucking Princeton and Yale. Even when we were the best of friends, it pissed me off how perfect she was. It wasn’t that she was without flaw, but everything just seemed to go her way.

The worst thing that I can think of that’s happened to Leah is probably Mike dropping out of college. And her parents could probably get him a job, once they get over the drop-out, with their uncle’s construction company.

Yeah, she was there for me when my dad died and my mom couldn’t function—Leah cooked us meals and once she even did the laundry while I tried to coax Mom out of bed—but she couldn’t know how I was feeling. She didn’t know.

I snatched a beer, one I’m pretty sure Austin had just been drinking out of, off the end table. I took a few sips of beer while watching Mike, nestled into a corner with some girl—luckily they were keeping their distance—and drained it when I spotted Garrett stepping closer to me out of the corner of my eye. He’d been ignoring Lisa—poor Lisa—since Leah left the room.

I twisted on the couch and pulled my knees into my chest, with my long t-shirt—snatched out of a discount bin in an already discounted thrift store—pulled over them. I tipped my head back, shrugging my shoulders when my hair tickled my neck, and looked back up at Garrett.

I have no doubt about it; Garrett knew the real reason I pulled Leah away from her studying. “You’re thinking it was too obvious, then?”

He shook his head and asked, “What did she do to you?”

I grinned something vicious. “You don’t like her too much, do ya? You wanna hear about the conversation I walked in on? They’re planning—at least Neil is, and you know he gets his way, President Neil Bateman—on going to Yale together next year. They’ll buy an apartment together or something.”

He nodded once. “That’s good to know, Leila.” He turned forward and slumped over with his elbows resting on his knees; Garrett cut his cobalt eyes at me. “You know that Mike watched that whole exchange right? I’ve known him for a while, even before he and Leah stopped getting along.”

He turned and stared at me straight on. “He was and still is pretty protective of her. Believe me, as much as he chewed me out later that night… I don’t know, Leila, how Mike’s opinion of you would change if he knew you brought Leah in here to humiliate her. I do know it would change though. You’d better hope your old friendship meant more to Leah than it did to you, but you are the one who stopped talking to her, right?”

“I was only helping her out, showing Lee how you are,” I spat back. “You’re the one with Lisa all over you; it’s not my fault.”

He shrugged. “If that’s how you see it.”

Whatever, I thought once he stalked out of the room—probably to go find Leah so he could fuck her again. I flinched; that was a little harsh, but it’s not like he’ll have the balls to tell Mike he slept with the baby sister he’s so protective of.

I folded my arms over my chest and asked the boy a few feet away from me for the beer he wasn’t drinking. I took a tiny sip; the beer didn’t taste so gross now.

Screw Leah and screw Garrett for having this irrational obsession with her.

A/N: I’m sorry for the two-month hold-up, but this is the longest chapter I’ve written for this story. I’ve had a nasty bout of writer’s block—along with a monster cold the week of Christmas—for the past few weeks. Updates will start flowing in for most of my stories, I promise! Some news for this story:

It was nominated for Best Work-In-Progress in the Time Is Running Out Awards. There’s a link in my profile for the voting site, if you like the story and would like to vote for it!

Thanks to: iEmo and hegberg for reviewing the last chapter!