Jealousy Is Poison

I know you’ve been wondering what’s up

That I’ve been acting oddly as of late

Distant even

I haven’t been the same since school started

That girl you knew over the summer

Has somehow vanished

Well, there’s a reason or two, actually

And here’s the one I’ve come up with so far:

I’m jealous

There’s no blunter way to put it

I’m covetous of what people have,

Sometimes just who they are

What’s unfortunate is that

Those people I’m jealous of

Includes you

One half of me will be amazingly happy for you

When the other half is insanely envious

It’s become a plague in my mind

An ongoing disease

Like a poisonous venom

That won’t leave my system

Until it’s somehow cured

(Or it kills me)

It’s bittersweet

I hate it

I hate having so much of this feeling inside me

I hate how it consumes me

And I really hate resenting people

It hurts

It makes me feel cold-hearted,

Like I’m a bad person

Even though I know that

Envy

Is a natural thing

We all have to deal with it

I know that, in some sense, at least

It’s so very stupid

These impractical feelings and thoughts

I don’t know why they affect me so greatly

Pity party for one, right?

My thoughts right now

In a nutshell:

Jealousy is poison