There's A Gillette Tucked In My Panties

by Razor To Rosary

I’m sorry

I want to see it flow

Out of me

I don’t want attention

I want a hospital room

Somewhere I can be alone

Away from everyone

.

I apologize

The more you want to protect me

The more I want to let you down

Five plus eleven,

That’s me

That’s all that makes my life

Worth living

.

All that I can see

.

I want to be free

.

That day I had it

I figured it out

My life is already over

I was never supposed to live beyond 16

I’m not really here

I’m dreaming in my bed

And I’m not really breathing

.

It’s sickening

.

I end up in the same place

Every time

I know that bathroom in and out now

Including where the sharp things are

I fall asleep on the rug

With all kinds of mental illnesses

Covering the light

It gets a little better at night

.

I’ll never be alright

.

Will I?

.

I medicate myself with television

Games

Songs

Plays

Kicks

Food

I’d give anything to get my hands on some pills

Any kind would be fine by me

My mom’s intact boxes should do

.

It’s so pathetic

Grey’s my favourite colour

It used to be blue

.

People you’ve never met shout at you to get help

I shout, fuck you

There’s nothing wrong with it

It’s really quite beautiful

I’m just not brave enough

I’m a liar

I can’t atone for who I am

Just for what I do

For what I am,

I can bleed

So can you!

The only thing I’m really good at

(This scholastic fraud)

Is crying

Liar, liar, liar

“It’s fine”

“Nothing’s happened”

Pants on fire

A/N: Depressed, dark, emo, angsty me. It wasn't even supposed to be a song at first, just me letting emotions out. The title - don't ask. Hey, I thought it was adequate. I appreciate criticism!

Thanks for reading!

Bárbara