MidNight's How-To's...

How To Deal With Raving & Ranting Adult(s)...

or anyone who's your superior(as in has more authority, not necessarily better than you!) in school, the workplace or any other other place where you actually have to answer to The Adult(s). The Adult(s) could be anyone ranging from your Teacher to a Boss or worse of all, the Parent! (Have no fear, this guide will teach you the basic survival skills!)

Turn up the music in your head. (Any genre will do. Just make it LOUD. MUST at least be enough to drown out The Adult(s). Or failing that, reduce him/her to annoying background noise.)

Use your other all-important sense! Your sight! Observe The Adult(s)' lips closely. When they pause in their raving & ranting to take a breath, that's YOUR cue! Butt in (as politely & respectfully as possible) & YOU start raving & ranting about how sorry you are (supposed to be)-Not necessarily/almost NEVER true.

Choose from the following appropriate responses:

"I'm terribly sorry. I promise it won't happen again." OR

"I'll get the job (or) chore done immediately." OR

"I'll keep your advice in mind. Thank you very much."

Escape with your life! & VERY IMPORTANTLY, escape without making ANY concrete promises. Be as vague as you possibly can without totally pissing off The Adult. Take my word for it, absolutely anything you say can, & probably WILL come back to haunt you sooner or later.

Take EVERYTHING & give NOTHING!

Good luck, my friends.

Oh, & the standard Disclaimers...

MidNight The Magnificent can NOT & will NOT be held responsible if any or all advice backfires. Attempt at thy own risk. You have been warned.

20/08/2008, 11.12pm