Okay, a little more for the feel of it . . .

ORFEO: THE OTHER SIDE

I am used to darkness. It is where I came into being and I have thrived there since. As I matured, I never heard it referred to by name; no one asked. It was accepted that we lived there and only listened to the elders for answers. I’m sure any human would find the place horrifying, as well as those who dwell there. But I knew no fear or repulsion, and being completely human wasn’t yet in my nature. I was just learning.

If I describe the place now, my words are based off the humanity I have adopted. It was mostly a barren place, with long expanses of nothing punctuated by deep caverns in the earth. There was no sun as it was nothing but another plane of existence. Other creatures dwelled there, too, but I hardly noticed then. I didn’t think much until I learned more, and pondering my existence was soon inevitable. That’s when the elders know you are ready.

My time was soon consumed with thinking. I sat on the edge of any precipice and merely stared down into the depths, wondering. What I was, what did that mean? I understood it, but the details were so far muddled. I looked down at the blackened rocks and ran my hands across them, feeling. Everything was becoming more heightened, and it was the awe of sensation that grounded me at times.

I was busy memorizing the feeling of the fine dirt when someone interrupted. Had it not been an elder, I would have ignored them, but it was hard to mistaken Arman’s voice.

Orfeo, he called from above, not in a voice as a human would know. We don’t communicate like that, as the connection between elder and student is so deep. His voice resounded in my head. I looked up the rocky cliff next to me, seeing his imposing stature at the top. He didn’t need to give me a reason to move, and I was already scaling the cliff. I reached him a moment later.

I see you have been preoccupied as of late, he commented as he began walking. I followed, waiting for a question that would permit me to speak. Rasui seems to think it is a sign you are ready to move forward. His crimson eyes looked down at me. Are you?

I paused, wondering how to answer at first. What is it that entails readiness?

You know much about yourself now. You are one of the few this time to realize the other half of our lives. Am I correct?

If you refer to the realization of doppelgaenger, then yes, I replied slowly.

The faintest hint of humor came into Arman’s sharp face. Then you have. You should see this as quite the accomplishment.

I nodded absently, hesitant. Yes . . . but it’s overwhelming.

Naturally, he assured. Your tie is strengthening; the one to the human world. Of course you will be subject to those sensations. I will help you.

The corners of his mouth turned up, and my brain registered the action: a smile. It meant happiness, contentment, satisfaction, joy, pleasure, and so many other things. I tried to mimic the action as gracefully, but it didn’t feel right. Arman’s smile widened in amusement.

It will only be a short time for you, Orfeo. You learn quickly, and I can see you are eager.

I feel such purpose now, I replied. There was nothing before.

He seemed very pleased to hear this. Yes, of course. I am glad you are one of the few to be chosen.

I suppose I was happy about this. It made things fairly interesting, and I had a feeling this interest was going to peak.

No one could have predicted how much, but things skyrocketed. You wouldn’t think you could absorb so much information so fast, but I did. I learned about human nature, what it meant to be like them. From my distant connection, emotions ran high and rampant, overwhelming me for some time. With nothing much to see here, I was aching for something more. Arman could tell, but he was all about patience, therefore I had to be as well. I discovered I had more in me than I thought, but unlocking it was the trick. Everything was just preparation for one day.

I couldn’t tell you how long this all took. Time passes strangely on the other side, but I’m sure it would measure in years. Years of careful planning for one day among them all; I had to look the same. I learned to walk with the jagged stride of a human, learned to gesture with my hands. Speaking was the hardest, as my tongue wasn’t accustomed to it. But I developed a voice, and Arman was inwardly laughing at the tone I had. He called it sarcastic, but I only blinked in response, not sure what to make of it.

“Do you want to know his name?” Arman asked once. We spoke aloud to one another now, setting us apart from the others. We stood among some of them as they silently glided along. I could hardly believe I had once been like that. Such silence and aimlessness was detesting. They had no instinct either like animals I had yet to see. I filled in the word for them: mindless, though with a one-track mind. If ever need be, we were not the kindest. Arman explained the word evil, though it didn’t hold much power as it does now. It was just a word, a jumble of letters in my mind. E-v-i-l: morally wrong; immoral; wicked; harmful. This is what humans would call us. Just seeing our faces registered the word, therefore characterizing us with misfortune or suffering. Perhaps when I was human I would be marked with this. I was a force in nature to govern and bring rise to wickedness and this strange word ‘sin’. Fear was something I recognized, and I was surprised when I imagined these humans being afraid of me. I smiled.

I brought myself back to Arman’s question. “Whose?”

“The one who is part of you.”

Oh yes, my counterpart, the man who would look at me and blanch, possibly be sick to his stomach, and then—?

“Yes,” I replied, gazing up at Arman’s extreme height.

He gazed off at the black sky, his eyes searching the expanse. “It is Lucio.”

My whole body seemed to jolt a bit. What a reaction, but it was exhilarating. It was pure instinct to do it, and I imagined all that would come so soon.

“Lucio,” I hissed. It was delicious to speak it knowing his demise would come. All this time I prepared for my purpose, as Arman called it. As a chosen doppelgaenger, I had a purpose, because not all of us were so lucky. Some of them would be aimless forever, or until the higher power decided otherwise.

This made me wonder how unlucky poor Lucio really was. I tried to calculate his age, but I couldn’t even figure out mine. I asked Arman instead.

“Ah yes, those details,” he said, sitting down slowly and folding his long limbs as a spider might. “You need not worry of you, it’s not important. But Lucio will be only twenty now. Do you understand?”

I nodded. I had a concept of that number, and it was surprisingly young.

“So you are the same there. However, I cannot see how long you have been here. But it’s a long time.”

I never had the slightest sense of time before, and I didn’t care much as to how long I’d been gliding for no reason. Things were different now.

“Remember, when you see him it is you, essentially,” Arman said, looking down at me. “This is your lesson for today.”

He turned towards me slightly, his dark, loose clothing shifting. “Tell me what you know of mirrors.”

A quiz of sorts. We had discussed this earlier. “I must stay away from them, as I cast no reflection.”

Arman nodded as he reached into the depths of his clothing. “Correct. Though most have a difficult time avoiding them. This is why we show you now.”

I was confused—an emotion I despise—and waited until he withdrew his hand. In his long fingers he held a thin flat stone. As he lowered it to me, I noticed the surface was highly polished. It reflected none of the meager light, but instead seemed to absorb it. I watched intently as Arman turned it towards me.

“This is the only time you will see your own face,” he said.

The others around us suddenly became very interested in our presence. I felt the light touch of their bodies as my back as I reached for the thing. It was wide and cool in my hands, but I barely noticed. My eyes were stuck to the face I was looking at.

It took me a moment to realize it was my own face. Of course I had seen faces before, but my own was just as alien as any stranger’s. I stared at the pale face with the dynamic eyes and the straight nose. The precise lips were parted in surprise, and I reached up to touch my own cheek. The hand in the reflection moved the same.

“And now you will know who to look for,” Arman said. I was still in awe of myself, even as the others behind me began to push for a better look. I could see their wispy reflections behind mine, and Arman gently pried the stone from my hands and put it away.

“He will look the same?” I asked when I could speak again.

“Yes. There will be some small differences, but hardly. You will know him, as he will you,” Arman replied.

I moved my fingers through my hair, remembering how dark it was compared to my skin. Would Lucio look frightening? Would his eyes be like mine? Arman seemed to sense my worry and laid his large hand on my shoulder.

“Come—there is still much to discuss.”

“I want to leave. Now,” I said, standing in place.

Arman looked sympathetic for a moment. “I know, but there is still more to do. Are you so eager to see him dead?”

I couldn’t help smiling. Maybe this was the evil that the humans feared.