What is running through my mind? I doubt you could understand. I’ll try if you like, I suppose if you don’t get it there won’t be any harm done. Well maybe there will be, but probably only if you do understand.

I killed someone once. I know I know “that’s terrible! How could you!” yada yada I don’t care so don’t bother judging. Everyone is a critic. Everyone has something to say about me for what I did. At this point all you know is that because of me, someone died. But you killed someone once too. Yes, just like I did. I’ll share with you my story, then maybe, just maybe you’ll understand.

So I’m on my way to work and I stop at this bagel shop on Comm. Ave just like I always do. Some new kid had just started there. She was clearly nervous, but my main concern was that she could get me my bagel and coffee the way I wanted it without making me late for my job. I still had quite the walk to go, and didn’t have time for any shenanigans. She wasn’t bad though, she took my order and fetched my stuff and I did a quick and fine job. This kind of behavior needs to be rewarded, that was my thought. So when my total came to 3.46, I handed her a fiver and told her to keep the change.

- And that was all it took. That was all it took for me to kill someone. Giving a tip. It was inevitable now. Still don’t follow? Then lets keep going. -

Her name was Tracy. She took that five and smiled before moving onto the next customer. Person after person filed in throughout the day, and bagel after bagel filed out. At the end of her shift she still hadn’t put the bill in the register and totally forgot when she counted out her drawer and her receipts. Perhaps it was a newbie mistake, but she totally blanked about the money as she reported the imbalance to her shift manager.

Her shift manager’s name was Shin, and he hired Tracy not because she was attractive but because she appeared totally capable. So here on her first day she already screwed up. Shin was not happy at all, and gave her quite the talking to and threatened to fire her. Tracy cried and Shin apologized. Then Tracy left to go back to her dorm and get ready for class.

- Maybe you can see where this is going, maybe you cant. If you already know then you already understand me and you can stop reading. Otherwise continue on. -

She was late now, thanks to Shin. He just had to ream her out for it. It was only five dollars! On top of that she was already pissed because she didn’t have her paper done for class. The professor was a real stiff, an old fashioned kind of dirt bag. He was the type of pervert that enjoyed staring at her cleavage, and used seating charts to put the hottest girls in the front row. The professor informed her that he needed to see her after class. Great this was just what she needed. At least she brought her boyfriends knife in her purse in case that dickhead tried any funny business.

- Okay now you have to see where I’m going. Still judging me? -

After class Tracy held her own against professor grabby. He just lectured her on the importance of punctuality on her papers. Blah blah she didn’t care. All that mattered was that Tracy was late for her date. She rushed out of class and hurried across the street to her dorm to get changed. By the time got she got to her boyfriend’s small brownstone apartment it was already nightfall and she was very late.

They left for dinner in a hurry and he was clearly mad at her for being so late. He yelled at her all the way to the restaurant and they fought all the way through dinner over it. Well not entirely over her being late, surely other issues spilled into the fold. But the point is, this wasn’t a good day for Tracy.

- Now see if you’re not getting how this ends then you’re really not trying. -

After fighting all the way back to her dorm it didn’t appear like Tracy could take it anymore. She had that knife in her purse and well if this didn’t seem like a great time to use it then I’m sure she couldn’t think of another. Her boyfriend broke up with her there in front of her building and walked away. I saw her pull out the knife, and I think she was about to follow him. There she was, going through this hell of a day, all because I gave her a tip.

That’s when I came up behind her and stabbed her in the neck. Following her all day was just getting boring. Now see!? You’re judging me too…