His hand was warm against my neck. His other hand was carding through my hair slowly, long fingers catching on the knots. Daniel’s face was bathed in sunlight; the bench was comfortably cool beneath my body. The denim of Daniel’s jeans was scratchy against my cheek but not uncomfortably so.

In my line of sight was a tree. And while that wasn’t terribly uncommon in the middle of a park, there was a boy sitting against that tree. Once again, not uncommon. It was just that this boy—more man than boy really—was Logan. Ugh. I couldn’t help but turn over so my gaze was facing the back of the bench and Daniel’s stomach. My pillow just laughed.

I scowled up at him and jabbed his stomach with one finger. “Don’t laugh at me.” Then, “Jerk.” Why would he laugh?

A chuckle from him. “You try to avoid him all the time. And he just keeps following you.” A wide, laughing smile as he smoothed down my hair. “I find that funny.”

“Of course you do,” I drawled. And while you laugh and find it absolutely frickin’ hilarious, I feel guilty. I squirmed.

He looked down at me and the smile vanished. “What’s wrong?”

Oops. Was I that easy to see through? Stop being transparent! I tried going for innocence, widening my eyes a little and everything. “Nothing.” Yeah. Right.

He leaned back a little and crossed his arms. “Sure.” A pause and a raised eyebrow from him. “Is it because Logan’s still following you around like some sort of lost puppy?”

I turned my head away from him. Oh, look at the pretty daisy. All bright and happy and stuff.

A sigh. “I figured as much. Why does he still follow you around? Haven’t you explained things to him?”

What, did I look stupid? Of course I did! “Yes. Yes, I have,” dry and slow.

“Then why does he still follow you around?” Concern was in his voice, making it softer and lighter, but I still flushed uneasily and started twisting my hands together.

“He believes he still,” air quote, “‘loves,’” end air quote, “me.” Eew. A grimace was already on my face.

“…You’re heartless.”

Hey! No, I wasn’t! Just because I had found out that I really didn’t “love” a guy after—hah hah hah—six years of crushing on him didn’t mean I was heartless. Nor does the fact that this epiphany had happened after he offered his heart to me and I told him I loved him. None of that meant I was a heartless bitch. It just meant I was really damn stupid.

I said nothing.

Then, his voice balanced and questioning and weighing, “Or you’re just a very pessimistic cynic.”

I suddenly felt very tired of this whole thing. Of Logan, of love, of my stupidity and gullibility and fear and anxiety. I was pretty much ready to curl up in some comfy pajamas with some cheesy romance movies and chocolate. “I prefer realist,” I corrected.

One hand went to my arm and stayed there, warming me. “You’ve told me the story before. He tells you he loves you. You tell him you love him. And then the next day you tell him it won’t work. What happened there?”

What happened there?! You really want to know, my dear, unwanted shrink? I had simply gotten caught in the moment. With my stomach and nerves jumping, with my blood pounding, with Logan standing oh so close and telling me things I wanted to hear, with the forbidden feel of it since he was then dating a girl who had once been one of my best friends, with secrets I had never told anyone spilling out…well, I said those three supposedly magical words and everything was supposed to get better. Instead, later that night, staring at my dark, blank ceiling, I got my rationale back. Without all those influences, I gathered my mind and thought all about it. And I realized it wouldn’t work.

“I remembered that I don’t believe in love like he does. The love he meant was the plot device you find in cheesy romance novels and faerie tales.” I let my gaze go back to Logan. The moron. He had always seemed so logical and rational…and yet he believed in something as trite as “love”! Me, the silly, head-in-the-clouds girl, did not. Figure that one out cause I sure as hell couldn’t.

Daniel’s face looked a little sad. “You don’t believe in love, hm?” A brush along my forehead with his fingers as he smoothed some errant strands of hair back.

“No,” I muttered. Then I tried not to gulp and blush as his fingers brushed along my cheek. “Physical attraction, of course. Deep caring, yeah. A mixture of the two, sure. The burning, passionate love silly teenagers—,” a glance over to Logan to show who I really meant, “—claim to have? Hell no.”

“My, you’re jaded,” he said, peering at me.

Oh, how nice he’s been treating me. Not. “You really know how to compliment a girl, don’t you?” I scowled then. “And I’m not jaded, either! I’m a realist!”

“Cynic.”

I just groaned and covered my face with my hands. Was not. “Whatever.”

The fingers of one of his hand started threading through my hair again. There were a few moments of silence as I slowly relaxed.

Then, “What’s going to happen when some other guy tells you he loves you?”

I shuddered a little at the thought and looked up at him. “Won’t happen. Logan and I had six years back-and-forth flirting and what could loosely be called friendship. Six years.”

His eyebrows were lowered now, eyes narrowed the slightest. He shrugged. “Hypothetical situation.”

A small shrug of my own. The most logical answer? “Freak out, probably.”

He frowned a little. Then he was suddenly leaning over me, creating a shadow. He was so close that his hair was almost tickling my nose. I twitched and blinked a few times.

“So…hypothetically,” a twirled gesture, “…what’s a guy supposed to do if he’s head over heels for you?” Raised eyebrows.

Kiss me. Logan had been a romantic at heart but had used cool logic to decide pretty much everything and anything. The few chaste pecks we had shared those six years had all been initiated by me. Forget the silly, useless words for a minute and just kiss me.

I turned my eyes away from Daniel’s searching gaze and tried to erase the blush that had erupted on my cheeks.

“Well?” A small smile.

I suddenly had the feeling that this situation wasn’t as hypothetical as I originally thought. I had the feeling we were talking about Daniel and me! Damn my stupidity. My blush came back ten-fold. I tried to avoid his eyes.

“Ah…I don’t know,” I mumbled.

I could feel him lean a little closer. Hair brushed my nose and cheeks. “We both know you do. What is it?”

Nervously, I looked at him. What, did he have some sort of thing for me? Sure, I really liked him and I was, well, attracted to him but jeez. I so did not want to hurt him like I had hurt Logan. “I’m…just not the person for relationships.”

“Why?” He had such an earnest look on his face.

“Because!” My voice was a little too high now, a little too shrill. “I just fuck things up!”

His hands came up and cupped my face. “Hey. It was just a question.” Voice, calm and cool. I’m pretty sure his smile was meant to be comforting. It just made me feel like an inept moron.

He leaned back against the bench, one arm going on the top of the bench, one arm alongside me. I shut my eyes against the onslaught of sunlight and kept them closed.

Silence…until I couldn’t take it anymore. “I really don’t,” I bit out. “Besides Logan, I’ve never had another guy who…,” I struggled with the word and then gave up, “…liked me.”

So very cool compared to my splintered temper, “Then how do you know you’re not a relationship kind of girl?” His hand was on my arm again, fingers drumming out some nonsensical rhythm.

Why was it that people considered me intelligent yet I was easily trapped by simple logic and words? “I…”

“See? You don’t know.” He leaned over me again. And smiled, one corner quirked higher than the other. “I think you should try again before you come to a conclusion.”

My temper completely snapped. “Fine!” And I reached up, pulled Daniel down, and covered his mouth with mine.

Logan would’ve let me have my wicked way with him. Daniel, though, curled his hand around the back of my neck, tangled his fingers in my hair, and pulled me even closer.

Who knew how long we were like that, shifting, trying to get into each other’s skin, pressing even closer, pulling back for air?

Finally, I pulled back and laid my head back on Daniel’s legs. My stomach was jumping—but it wasn’t that unpleasant, appetite-killing knotting that Logan had always caused. It was that kind of nervous energy one got before going on a rollercoaster. It was actually…pleasant.

He smiled and brushed my hair from my face. “You really are a relationship kind of girl, just like everyone else.” Knuckles brushing against my cheek in a deliberate movement. “You just need someone who understands you.”

That made me pause. I had never understood Logan, that I knew. And with how Logan had always fumbled around me, I figured he had never understood me either. I glanced over at the tree. Logan was gone.

This…this may just work. I understood Daniel. He understood me. Maybe…well, just maybe.

I smiled a little and scooted a bit closer. One arm curled around my shoulders, fingers threaded in my hair. And I said, “You may actually be right.”