Perpetually Thirteen

It’s been seventeen long years.
I guess I should have learned by now.
They expect me to mature,
But I don’t think I know how.
I don’t need to redefine—
--Who I am--
--Or what I do—
Because I know who I am,
And that’s what gets me through.
So why does it still seem
That I’m perpetually thirteen?

Call me adult—hey, what the hell,
I guess I am a big girl now.
I’ve got a thousand different jobs,
And I’ve got to do them well.
But I don’t feel grown-up,
Hey, I’m still a kid inside.
I’m a big fish in a big pond,
Meaning now I have to hide.
And in my head and mind it seems—
I’m perpetually thirteen.

It’s a big world out there,
Hey, I guess I have to take it on.
No, I don’t think I’m ready,
But hey, is anyone?
So I’ll dive into the abyss,
With no rope but sanity,
And through a tide of new emotions…
I’ll discover me.

I’m not ready, never ready;
But I don’t think it’s my choice.
I can cling to home and comfort,
But then I know I’ll lose my voice.
I’m still that little girl who’s terrified of where she’s going—
But I’m growing.
And still, to me, it seems…
I’m perpetually thirteen.