Title: Flow of Conciousness

Info: Done in my Peacemaking: Ghandi and Nonviolence class. I was having trouble focusing on the teacher and recently learned of an exercise in which I write down whatever comes into my head. This is just a flow of my thoughts. Slightly jumpy, but I'm hoping you can follow the flow of my thoughts. Incomplete sentences because not everyone's minds work in perfect grammar.

Feeling antsy. Must keep moving. Can’t. Feel like I’m shaking on the inside. Vibrating at the core level while the outer shell is forced to stay still. Feeling weird. Have to find a way to stop.

Yoga breathing helping some but the mind is moving too fast for it to truly be of any use. Focusing on body in space.

Pinky and ring fingers on each hand are freezing. As are all toes but the big ones. Occasionally shivering. Elbows cold. As well as knee caps. Occasional bouts of teeth chattering and neck needs to be cracked. As does lower back. Upper back cracks when I roll my shoulders but the neck isn’t going. Need more fluids?

Need to clean. Need to set up observation time. Need to figure out where observation place is. Need to do homework: Statistics, English Literature before 1780, and Peacemaking—Ghandi and Nonviolence. Need to practice yoga flow. Need to do laundry. Need to work on commissions: Amanda, Kate-God, and Ron. Need to make list for supply run this weekend.

Needed: Yoga pants, yoga top, highlighters, pencils (mechanical), erasers, foundation (ask Megan about type), honey (for tea?) soda.

Will add more to the list later. Supposed to do a lot more later. Will put off most of it in favor of watching television and dicking about online.

Need to find a dick. And hopefully a nice guy attached to it.

There are no more gentlemen. None. Not a single one on the face of the earth. Stop trying to find one. All men are useless assholes and if women were left to run the world, everything would be solved.

Must put away Psychology of Women’s Feminism book. Go back to reading Madness in Power. Remember to return it to the library when finished. No matter how much you want to keep it. Ideas: Photocopy each page? Check Amazon for copy? Check eBay for copy? Check library to see if you can buy it from them? How much is it worth vs. how much it costs.

Watch fundage. How much in checking? How much in savings? Enough for tattoo? How much will tattoo cost? Cost differs from shop to shop. Where are we getting the tattoos? Where is the tattoo getting put? Have to design tattoo first. Basic idea hasn’t changed but intricacies will be dependant on size which will be dependant on placement. All is dependant on how much money I have. December should help a bit with monetary issues but not as much as I’m hoping, I’m thinking.

I’m thinking too much. Head is starting to ache at temples. But oddly enough, forehead is ice cold. Am finding this funny. Though I know I can’t laugh because I am in the middle of class, learning about Ghandi.

Ghandi is an owl. Not a shark.

When is Shark Week coming around again?

Did my teacher just call someone a bitch?!

He’s discussing types of competition. “Who gets to use the damn car on Saturday night.” Third time he’s sweared during class. Fun. Just apologized for it though. Less cool. He’s having the class read from the book.

Am just now realizing that I forgot to grab my book before heading to class. Have to ask a girl with cherries tattooed on her foot if I can use hers. She’s nice enough to let me use hers and point out where we were so I don’t look like an idiot.

Happens more often than it should. Saying something stupid. Asking something I should have already known. Making a joke that no one gets. Saying something that people mishear. Mentioning an inside joke when I’m the only person present who knows what I’m talking about. Saying something a weird joke around people who aren’t as open minded. Must learn who not to make “ritualistic sacrifice” jokes around. Must learn that even if someone isn’t involved in the conversation, if they’re in earshot, don’t swear. They don’t like it.

The next time it happens, tell them to bugger off. No one likes eavesdroppers.

No one likes people who make inflammatory remarks. I don’t know if what comes out of my mouth at any point in time will be considered inflammatory or not. Have started preempting ninety percent of sentences with things like “No offence” and “I don’t mean to be rude but.” Some things still come out wrong. Should keep mouth shut. Find myself unable to.

I am somewhere between a shark and a turtle.