My Only Binge

There’s blood red paste chalked up

Right underneath my nail beds.

With my jaws clenched too tight;

Tight enough to bend steel.

The tearing came before I realized

Broken flesh ripped wide open.

The carnage lies next to sealed and

Happily mended, rippling, scars.

They fell away, the shreds

Of my happiness.

But were they really there

To begin with? Try as I might

It’s become easier not to feel.

I might have surmised

It just wasn’t right. Fresh

Spilled blood and stars in my eyes.

Is it repulsive?

Please don’t cringe.

This macabre sport

Is my only binge.

Lovely. Lurid. Loathsome

To no end. Bloodshed

Is my only binge.