|How To Lose Your Girlfriend Fast
Author: thebloodfiend PM
Have you ever had a date that wouldn't leave or take a hint. Following these steps will guarantee the success you need to get rid of them without having to dump them, hurt their feelings, or mentally impair them. Side effects include vomiting, diarrhea...Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Words: 582 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 09-15-08 - Status: Complete - id: 2572167
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Lose Your Date Fast
Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend that you knew just wouldn't work. Want to get them to dump you so you don't feel bad. Then here's the loser's guide on getting a date. Pay very close attention to this information because it is guaranteed to have you dumped in less than a week.
Five Star Dinners
If you ever really want to wow your date then were would you go? It's so obvious - McDonald's! Not only is it easy on your back pocket it also wows your date so much that your not eating straight out the trash can. But seriously folks if you really want to lose that date take them to the most disgusting restaurant you can think of. Make it seem like it was an accident. Oh and if their paying order the most expensive thing on the menu. It really shows how much you care.
Want to have a special moment with your loved one? Want to make it one that will be in their memories forever? Believe me this one will stay imprinted in their minds for a long time. Take them on a romantic date to the cemetery. The tombstones and decay will surely make them want you even more. Even better take them on a mind blowing journey to...your walk in closet! Set up your little brothers toddler table table and order some carry-out McDonald's and your all set(for disaster).
B-O of Love
The beginning of relationship starts with a really bad smell. And you yes you can start that smell if you follow these tips. Throw away your deodorant. Look that deodorant in the eye and say "I'm not using you any more were through. It's over." Next forget the words water, bath, and soap. Their no-longer in your vocabulary. The next step to a B-O fantasy, lose your manners. Remember the tissue, well forget it. The WORLD is your tissue! Lastly, we can't forget our toothbrush can we? Sure we can! Throw it away, give it away, send it to me in the mail, I'll put it on the rack with the heads, I mean well anyway burn your tooth brush if you have to. Look up the character BUTTERS and you'll see what I mean. Oh and before you get ready for that good night kiss be sure to have your mouth full of onions, hamburger, and any other food that does not transfer well from mouth to mouth.
Long, Tan and Handsome
This is dedicated to all of you losers out their who like ripping your clothes. A rip here and rip there a rip there next thing you know you and your date will be watching the full moon during your romantic sunset. OH and thanks to your wonderful aroma of B-O you'll smell like roses and cream. Forget about acne cream you should just run sugar paste on your skin. That will rapture their heart(and your face.)
You now have your perfect date spot, your wonderful aroma, your tux, and delicious choice of five star food. If your date really hangs around you after this then they must really like you. You have no hope of ever getting rid of it. Oh I forgot one thing. You should have a B-M of an attitude to brighten things up.