Oedipus wore designer jeans.

He went to concerts and he
so totally danced all night
and you know,
in the mornings his ankle was always killing him.

Oedipus kissed girls who
"love their boyfriends"
because he had a thing for older women
and he liked to make people mad.

In fact, Oedipus was usually mad.

Oedipus listened to music that he
didn't really like, but he
said he liked it
because then he would so totally look cool.

He told his best friend that he hated him
just because it seemed like
something to get him in the spotlight for a little longer.

...

Oedipus was always one for drama,
especially tragedies.