There’s a thing called pain

There’s a thing called pain.

You may not know you cause it

Because of the lies that are told

To make you think that there is no agony.

You left that one cold,

Winter’s night to be with her.

You left me to be with her.

You love me

And I still love you

No matter what has happened.

But due to the pain you caused us,

We are no longer a family,

We are no longer as close

As we used to be.

When I found out you

Were never coming back,

My heart was broken.

Fathers aren’t supposed

To leave their daughters.

They are supposed to stick by them

When they fall and cut their knee open,

Through the first break-up,

And through their first day of college.

But,

With you,

That is not the case.

You left me

So you relinquished the rights

To be apart of that.

I still have a space in my heart

Reserved with your name.

But,

It’s not the same.

I don’t wake up to

You giving my butterfly kisses

And telling me,

“It’s time to rise and greet the sun with a smile.”

Every time I think of

The happy memories,

Like when we went to the park

And you stopped me from

Falling off the monkey bars;

My heart breaks all over again.

The tears cascade down my face

As I remember those good eight years

When I thought nothing

Could possible go wrong.

I had the perfect family;

A mom and dad

Who loved each other.

Two brothers and a sister

And a dog.

I was like every normal kid

Until the day you left

And I was told by my school

That my daddy had left.

The man that I had trusted

With my life,

Had left me with two older brothers

And a mother with a broken heart.

When you left me for her,

When you chose her over me,

Your own daughter,

Something snapped.

I didn’t understand why.

Why my daddy had left me,

Why he took my older sister with him,

Why he had left me and not taken me with him.

Those are just a few of the questions that

I have asked myself over the years.

If I could just rewind time nine years

And try to fix things.

Maybe I could have

Picked up my toys

Or kept my room clean

Or helped set the table more.

Maybe if I did what I was supposed to do

Or what would have been a help,

Maybe you wouldn’t have left me for her.

How was she so much better than me?

I was your daughter.

You created me.

Why didn’t you stay?

I need to know.

You left with no word,

No note,

No phone call.

I found out from my teacher

That I had lost my daddy.

I found out that

I would never see my dad

For the longest time.

You chose to leave me.

You chose her

Over me.

Just…

Please…

Come back to me…