i have slipped between the lines of these illusions they call
reality

& do you remember
blue blue skies?
i remember,
fingerpainting the sunset into the horizon. drinking martinelli's from wine glasses because we felt more like grown ups
that way. speeding on our bikes down the bigbig hill. (it doesn't seem so big now)
making a rope ladder for the treehouse and staying up there for hours. trying to build snowmen but we always, always
ran out of patience. leaving popsicles in bowls under the sun so they'd melt and we could drink it
like fruit punch. running home from school because it felt so good to be free even though i could be free
all the time, if i wanted to. saving worms from the sidewalk after the rain came
and went. climbing up on the roof to look out over the whole city. the whole province. the whole world.

- - -

now,
i have sunken into the velvet-barred prison i think they call
loneliness. because now, now that i'm asking if you remember
all of that i can't help but remember that throughout all of that,

i was alone.