I Hurt (Summer 2008)

I hurt

with self inflicted

despair

I ache

into the very depths

of my heart & soul

pushing all who matter

away with anger

not meant for them

Alone in this house

that should be a happy

home

I cry

in pain

from loneliness

from despair

I hurt

becuase who I am

hurts others so dear to

me

afraid of being close to people

I ache

because they’re driven away

by who I really am

I am empty

of all things endearing

I am horrible to all who care

anyone who matters

hates me soon enough

when they see the real me

I hurt

becuase no one can ever

love me

without accepting all of me

that’s fine, I’ll force

their decision

becuase they all would have picked the same

I’m used to this

these horrible feelings

of loneliness, dislike, hate

why should I

be allowed to know anything

but that?

I hurt

because even on my

best days

I am still so miserable

so empty

so true to that

hated dark side of

me

I wait

for the day

for the person

who will accept the darkness with the light

100

the good with the bad

100

so that I can stop pretending

so I can stop hiding

all that is hated and horrible

about me