singing words that are not
my own
melodies that stick to my stomach
for these feelings, words
rumble rumble

I betrayed a love
in this swimsuit and
nothing

symbolism
a fantasy in the brain
and how we love it so

like how
each time I have sex
I feel I lose a bit of myself
and keep on waiting to
be filled with that glow
of another person

it’s just skin, sweat, blisters
on my knees
and eyes,
longing brown eyes staring

I’ve been a tea addict,
sleep addict, wine addict
zen addict

if I find god I want
to feel it in the sun
pouring in my pores,
O the heat

O this song
that I wish I had written
instead