Colby is dying. Again. Is this the third time, or fourth? He called Susan from some 24-hour health care clinic, asking her to pick him up and that “maybe, perhaps, could you bring me some of those chocolate biscuits you always have in your pantry?” Susan is the only one who will listen to him anymore. She picks him up but doesn’t bring the cookies.

“What are you dying from?”

“Lack of Self-actualization,” Colby pulls at his curly brown hair. “I am dying due to lack of self-actualization.” Colby frowns as he realizes that he has actually pulled some hair out. “It’s a very important vitamin.”

Lindsay is dressed in a suit for no particular reason. Perhaps it was the only clean piece of clothing in his apartment. When he opens the door he is holding a beer bottle filled with non-alcoholic lemonade.

“Again?”

“Can you just take him?” Susan pleads. “Unless you’d prefer working at the shop?” Lindsay pales at the thought. He gets embarrassed simply by the display of dildos and they are nothing compared to the array of bondage gear.

“No thank you,” he declines politely, letting Colby pass by him in the narrow hallway. “But you still owe me.”

“Want some blueberry-flavored condoms?” she offers. “We also have peach, if you prefer,” Susan isn’t surprised or offended when the door is slammed shut.

“Where the hell is Susan?” Mae yells at one of “Bad Kitty’s” employees. She is not happy and this is very apparent for she is currently using a vibrating egg as a stress ball.

“Hey, chill, would ya?”

“Don’t fucking tell me to chill out,” she throws the egg down onto the floor which simply causes it to turn on. Mae stares at it as it slowly vibrates across the floor. She lets out a nervous giggle before collapsing into a nearby chair.

“Sorry,” she says after taking a moment to recollect herself. “You’re new, right?”

“Yeah, I’m April.” April fiddles with her lip ring, still wondering whether she would need to call the local hospital to see if they were missing any psychiatric patients. She decided that she was probably okay and relaxed slightly. “Susan just went to go pick up some guy named Colby.”

“Shit, he’s dying again?”

“What?” Before Mae could answer, Susan entered through the back entrance carrying a cardboard box.

“April, would you be a dear and see if you could fit any more whips in the bondage display?” Susan puts the box down on the counter before noticing Mae. “Mae,” she exclaims. “What are you doing here?” Mae slouches in her seat and hugs her knees.

“Camden and I broke up.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sure you’ll get back together.” Mae rubs at her eyes tearfully.

“He gave me Chlamydia!” She howls, nearly causing April to fall off her stepladder.

“Oh yes, don’t mind me,” April mutters, busying herself with organizing handcuffs.

“What? Who-“ Susan starts before being interrupted.

“Some slut named Jane. I found her phone number written on a thong in his room.” Susan wrapped her arms around Mae who was now crying again.

“Okay, no more crying. I’m gonna call Genta and we’re going to watch some movies, drink some wine, or maybe a lot of wine in your case, and make a voodoo doll of Camden.” Susan hands Mae a tissue. “Capiche?” Mae nods.

“April,” Susan yells across the store. “Think you can close up today?”

Magenta, or Genta for short, was the only one who lived in a house. Despite the fact that the house was a 30-minute drive from downtown, 40-minutes if traffic was particularly bad, it was always the center of any get-together or party. Or, and in this case, a place to get shit-faced drunk and not have to worry about waking up next to someone you didn’t know.

“Who needs guys anyway?” Magenta asked as she refilled Mae’s wine glass. “I mean, all they’re good for is for sex, right?” Susan sends a glare in her direction, before stealing the wine bottle and refilling her own glass.

“Ignore her, Mae.”

“Guys, I’m okay, really. You don’t have to act like this.” Mae takes a gulp of wine.

“Oh yeah,” Magenta flops onto the couch beside her. “You’re completely fine. All that crying meant nothing. And you’re only on your third glass because you think red wine is good for your heart.”

“Really. I just hate how oblivious I was. I mean,” Mae sighs. “I thought our relationship was doing so well.”

“Boys,” Magenta mutters. “Ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous,” Susan agrees.

“Extremely ridiculous.” They clink their glasses and down the contents.