Thanks for reading, everybody!
Unless you've (re)read this after 04/26, I suggest you at least reread chapter six. Some fairly notable changes have been made.

CHAPTER SEVEN
I tried to push Alice out of my mind while I was speed shopping with Ashley. There would be moments where she slipped my mind and I'd relax, but then her face would come rushing back as if to taunt me. As if I was not allowed to forget about her.

“I don’t like girls who starve themselves, Willow.”

The words struck home, though I knew they shouldn’t have. I hated when people phrased it that way. It was only starving if that was how you looked at it. To me, it was dieting. Everyone dieted at some point, whether it was for a sport, for a special someone, or to fit into a new pair of pants. I didn’t starve myself. I controlled my eating. This morning, I’d crumbled with a weak resolve to hunger.

"Do you think he'd like these?" Ashley called to me. She tried to get my focus on something else without even asking what bothered me. She was a great friend for that reason, but not that reason alone. She didn't ask questions unless she knew it was okay, or if she had no idea how to help. There was nothing that she ever did wrong, and for a while, I envied her for it. But that was before I settled with just being happy that she was my best friend.

I was in the bra section of the store, while she was still hunting through the under wears. When I looked up, she was holding a pair of pink g-string panties.

"Depends. Would he like taking off your ass-al floss?"

She made a face then laughed. As I turned around, I noticed that she never put them down and I couldn't help but giggle. Ashley wasn't serious about buying them, but she liked to mess with people anyway. Ashley was too high not to fuck around with the other people in the store.

Besides us, there were too many other girls to count. Some were too young to be in here - with baby-fat cheeks, rail-thin bodies, no curves, and flat chestsl; some were too old with their saggy breasts, thunder thighs, and age-wrinkles everywhere. Most were people from high school or college.

A few of them looked like they were at home in the lingerie store.

I was standing in front of a mirror, holding a blue bra up to my chest to compare the size and feel of it when I heard someone whisper in my ear.

"Hey," Ashley said, her shoulder touching mine. "You were with Alice , earlier, right?" I nodded, looking at her in the mirror, rather than turning my head. I could see her watching the reflection of someone behind us, almost at the other end of the room. "See the girl in the pink shirt?" I nodded again, my eyes shifting from the girl in pink to Ashley in confirmation. She met my eyes with an all-knowing look. "That's her ex-girlfriend."

I suddenly looked back to the other girl. She was tall and very thin in an awkward way. Her limbs were long, so when she walked, I was reminded of a tree.

Her hair was down to the small of her back, with curls and highlights that brought mine to shame. I couldn't see the color of her eyes behind her designer glasses, and I couldn't read what was on her shirt under the fur lined jacket she wore. Her jeans were tucked inside small boots and she wore three belts, all just resting on her hips for fashion.

"Her name is Claire. She should've graduated with the rest of the seniors last year, but she got all her credits at the end of her junior year and graduated a year early."

I looked at her funny and Ashley furrowed her brow at my face. She couldn't be that old. "What?"

"She's two years older than us?"

Ashley smiled wryly, as if she found my words humorous. "Actually, only by just one year or so. She started school a year sooner than she should have. So, she should be a senior NOW, instead of graduating when were done with our freshman year."

I nodded, understanding. I'd get the rest of the details about Alice 's ex-girlfriend later, when we weren't around a bunch of other girls. One of them might know Claire and give us away or induce some drama neither of us needed.

My stomach growled, and twisted inside of me as if it were living.

“I don’t like girls who starve themselves, Willow.”

I turned to Ashley, thinking, with my eyes to the floor. She looked at me and tilted her head, confused.

“Are you hungry?”

Immediately, Ashley brightened up, eyes wide. “YES. I thought you would never ask.”

We bought what we wanted and left in search of something to eat.

&

Later that night, well after Ashley and I flopped on her bed and talked, she pulled out a bottle of vodka and gave me hollow stare. After a few minutes of protesting, I finally gave in to Ashley’s persistence and took a shot to start off with.

“Why,” I started, with my nose wrinkled, “do you want me to drink so bad?” I took a long drink from a bottle of water, my eyes never leaving hers. I got up and found her kitchen in search of a chaser with a stronger taste than that of the Smirnoff. When I returned with two bottles of white soda, I moved my free right hand in a circle to indicate for her to answer my question.

“Cause,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. She took a long swig from the bottle then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. The lighter had a weak flame as she lit herself a cigarette, her eyes crossed in a serious manner. “I have to tell you some things,” she muttered through the cigarette in her mouth, “and I don’t want to be sober much longer afterwards. I don’t want you to be sober after I tell you, either.”

Unlike earlier, Ashley’s hair was thrown up in a messy bun and her dark hair looked even darker in contrast to her pale skin.

Neither of us said anything after that. I played on her laptop while she entertained herself with smoke rings and the French Inhale, occasionally offering me a hit every now and then. I took another shot and watched her take another drink straight from the bottle. Across from me, I noticed Ashley didn’t have anything to chase down the alcohol like I did.

“Tell me what you know about Alice ,” Ashley said, her voice much heavier than before. I looked up at her right when she was taking a drag and her eyes were locked on me. My timing and her eyes gave me the impression that something was up.

“What do you mean?”

“I want to know what you know about Alice so I know what you don’t know.” She paused then, holding her cigarette in her mouth but without smoking it. After a moment, she set it down in the ashtray, still burning and I waited for her to elaborate. Her eyes were on their way to half moons and I could feel my body starting to buzz–how many shots had I had so far? I lost track after four, and it hit me as I tried to count that I was tipsy, too. Immediately after making the connection, my face split into a grin just as Ashley started speaking . “So just tell me, okay?”

So I told her what I knew about her (which was just her face, her name, and her favorite store) and realized that I hardly knew anything other than the very basics. And I also said something that I hadn’t even admitted to myself before that moment: “I like her.”

Ashley stared at me without actually looking at me, but through me – right through me as if I weren’t there. Her mouth was turned down in a relaxed but set frown and I could see the muscles of her jaw tightening periodically. She seemed genuinely torn between something but didn’t say anything and just took a long, slow drink from the handle.

When she acknowledged me again, her smile was wry but forgiving. "Cheers," she said, the bottle weakly raised above her head, "to liking new people and hoping they're better than the last."

I ignored the toast and raised my glass anyways. Dread was pooling in my stomach, tar was hardening on my shoulders, and everything seemed to point towards something bad. Something was off, and I just couldn’t pinpoint what. Nothing felt right.

mmm, raspberry, blueberry, citrus, or watermelon.