I degraded my shaving razor today

I spread my blood,

hot and thick like

fresh bakery bread,

over its thin blades

and

it hissed a soft "I love you"

laced with potassium cyanide

and jewel-toned silk

in long swiping motions,

the weapon dressed in my blood

bit at the milk-skin of my wrists

and cast a wistful glance towards

my marred and scarred thighs

but I shook my head,

admonishing the greedy blades

mommy didn't look at me

as she led me to the bathroom,

brown bottle of peroxide

cradled in her arms

like the baby my brother used to be

(like the baby she almost lost)

my forearms were

slabs of bloody pig-meat

that fizzed under the acidic bite

of the merciless clear liquid

mommy's eyes were flat and dead,

the skin around her mouth tight

with a sort of disgusted and angry solemnity

and

she hissed a soft "I love you"

mixed with shards of glass

and salty tears unshed

10.5.08