Hey! So this story has been around for a while. I wrote the first draft three years ago and have improved it since. I recently turned it in for a grade in my creative writing class. It's been worked on a lot and it's definately one of my favorites. Suggestions on more improvement would be really helpful! Thanks!

Temptation

“Sebastian?” her voice is soft and light, wrapping around me like a silk sash, “What are you thinking?”

She is standing in front of me, gazing at my face, trying to decipher my expression.

I grab her tiny wrist and pull her into my lap. Her eyes are wide and shining, making her look even more innocent.

“I’m thinking about you, love.”

My fingers run down the back of her neck, making her shiver deliciously. For a moment, I thought about what it would be like to sink my teeth into the beautiful, pale skin of her neck. I closed my eyes and leaned into her, running my nose up and down the curve of her neck.

“S-Sebastian?” she rasps, “W-what…” I press my lips to hers. Her lips are warm and soft to the touch. Her hands reach up to my face and wrap around the back of my neck, her hands were hot and felt good on my cold skin.

Pulling away, I whisper into her ear, “I love you Marie.”

Her breath catches in a little gasp and she freezes. Timidly, she looks into my eyes, she knows I truly mean it. She knows I have no reason to lie. Opening her mouth she whispers back to me, “I love you too.”

Pulling her closer, if it was possible, I say, “I know…I’ve always known.” Inhaling, I take in her sweet scent….like freesia.

She kisses my cheek as her reply, the heat of her lips lingering there. My fingers lightly trace circles on the base of her neck, forcing her to shiver once again.

Eternal beauty. Eternal youth. I gave my soul to the devil to achieve such a dream. But I suffer from a terrible lust for blood. The curse that I willingly brought upon myself. The force that drives me to the point of insanity. The life force of a living being.

Now, a living being temps my lust with her rosy cheeks and long, silk soft locks. She smiles at me as she clumsily trips her way through the doorway, blood pooling in her cheeks, tingeing them red.

How long before I give into my thirst? How long before I can’t stand the torture of her presence? How long before I take the warmth away from her? How long before I steal her soul?

My heart still beats with cold blood. My lungs still breath stale air, yet she still loves me.

Her heart is mine, and my heart…is hers. Who knew I was capable of love? Who knew I could feel it with such an intensity that it hurts?

Smiling, she embraces my. It envelopes me in a blanket of warmth. She is my sunrise in this never ending darkness. She is the fire burning within me, driving me onward.

My little human. My love. Her beauty surpasses that of a fiery sunset as storm clouds swiftly move in. Her voice is like the rain softly falling, and her eyes, her beautiful ocean blue eyes sparkle and shine like the brightest stars in the night sky. She is everything to me.

And more.

Dawn is swiftly approaching and she still sits in my lap. Her fingers playing with the tips of my hair, twirling it around them.

“The sun is rising,” she says forlornly, sitting up.

“Yes, I must sleep, and you should go.”

“But…but I don’t want to leave. I…I want to stay with you, to hold onto you.” her gaze cast down , she blushes furiously, heat radiating off of her.

Swiftly picking her up, I take her to the basement where I keep my coffin. Gently, I set her down and open the heavy wood lid

I wander these old streets, unknown to mortals. Their eyes are blind. There was a time when people believed in us. They would constantly turn about, always vigilant, but never seeing. Always aware of the real dangers of the night, always knowing it would be best to get off the street and home before the sun set, before the monsters of the night creep out.

These times are different. People run about in the streets at midnight, making wild noises and blasting their rock and rap music, unaware of the dangers surrounding them.

Young girls, walking home from the clubs in their boldly colored high heels four inches tall and clothes that barely cover their bodies, unaware of the man lurking around the corner with knife in hand. Guys in baggy clothes, with guns concealed in their jackets, who smoke dope and drink until they can’t remember a thing.

This new age that has flashing neon lights everywhere, televisions brightly flickering pictures in the windows of shops, music so loud, so radical that it could surely be called the music of hell. All these things, so devilish and yet, so innocent. These insignificant things to these mortals are great miracles to me.

And that’s when I saw her.

It’s almost cliché to say it was love at first sight, but it was. I hadn’t been in love in over two centuries and it hit me with a blow that almost surprised me…almost.

I am not easily surprised, and it didn’t surprise me that I fell in love with a girl of this exciting New Age that I had already fallen in love with.

This girl, standing in the bright light of the sidewalk on the corner had immediately stolen my frozen heart. Maybe it was her beauty that attracted me first, or maybe it was the tie she had to this new century, but I am certain, that the beautiful curve her neck makes made her more tempting.

And here we are now, together in my lonely dungeon.

Placing myself in my coffin, I beckon for her to climb in with me.

Hesitantly, she climbs in and lays face down on top of me. I can barely feel her weight, she is so light, lighter that a feather.

I close the lid gently and she clings to me, pressing herself against me, frightened. I kiss her forehead, reassuring her that I’m there. It amuses me, to think she feels safe and takes comfort from a monster like me. To think she feels safe with what she should truly be afraid of. I think again of my teeth sinking into her soft flesh. The sensation almost takes me over. I inhale her scent once again. This will be the last time I feel her warmth.

“I’m with you love. Sleep with me and tonight, you’ll be able to join me without fear.